Dear Joshua,

How can a be free of the limited self? The conditioned self? The programming? How can I be more in the flow state more of the time. How can I let go of this poor little girl inside of me?

I understand that life isn’t always sunshine and daisies and rainbows. Sometimes the storms come, and the darkness comes, and the cold comes (I HATE THE COLD!!), but its just the polarities of life; the yin & the yang. We have to experience both, and this is the nature of life, or the paradox.

Lao Tzu said “Water is fluid, soft and yielding, But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. this is another paradox: what is soft is strong.” I realise that with less control (less Yang), more allowing (more YIN) will come. I now practise almost every day, a balanced practice of the two. Yin Yoga, has been my teacher for some time now, and I combine the Yin, followed with a bit of Yang, and try to find the balance between the two. this is also primarily what I teach.

But only allowing, only Yin, only feminine, only soft, only cold – surely this isn’t the answer? Don’t we need balance? The holding and the letting go?

Last year I had a miscarriage, and since then I have had severe issues with my menstrual cycle. After much investigation they found a pollyp in my uterus, which is finally due to be removed in November. Through my issues in my uterus, I have learned so much. I have learned to listen to the feminine, to accept, to allow, to listen, to forgive and I set these intention most days, I am more accepting these days than I have ever been. I have my body to thank for that; for teaching me and showing me so clearly what I need to do. The more I listen to my body and its requests, the symptoms have almost gone! I experience almost no pain now, when a year ago, I would be in debilitating pain through my cycle.

My body teaches me a lot, if I only listen to it – and I guess that is why I am so passionate about my own practice and to share this practice with others, so they too can start to listen to the signals in their bodies, to use this practice to clear the mind, to come back home, to the truth of their being and to connect with their light. To detach from everything we think we are, to take a step back and become the observer; after my practice, I have NO doubts about the fact that I am indeed the creator, and I can be, have, and do anything I desire.

But Joshua will say I’m using the practice to control myself. Is it not ourselves that we must learn to control? Our own minds, our own thoughts, our own realities? Is this not the one thing we are able to control?

If I allowed myself, I would smoke a ton of weed, sit around do nothing, be depressed, be bored, feel like the victim. So I cannot allow that. I have to take control of myself, I have to encourage myself to get out of bed each day onto my mat. Is this wrong? There is no wrong, of course, it is just my exploration. To me, it doesn’t feel right to just allow allow allow. Absolutely, now I understand that we cannot control anything outside of ourselves, but is it not advisable to control ourselves?


Dear Tistrya,

Control is the illusion brought on by fear. You fear that you will be lazy, smoke weed and sit around all day if you do not control yourself. We would say that this is inaccurate. In allowing, you find your alignment. You explore who you truly are. And you receive inspiration to move you forward along that exploration. This is what you truly desire. You want the clarity that comes as you travel the path from your inauthentic, fear based, victim-self to the discovery of your authentic self.

You are confused by the illusion that you are not a powerful and magnificent creator. You have a limited perspective of yourself as do all humans. All humans perceive themselves on a spectrum of unworthiness. Some live mostly in fear and others live mostly in love. The difference is their perception of self. Those living in fear do so because they perceive themselves to be unworthy of all the good in the world. Those living on the love side of the spectrum, perceive themselves from a higher perspective. Raise your perspective of yourself and you will move from fear to love. You choose your perspective based in love, not control.

You may allow everything to be good and right. You need not perceive anything as wrong. Your perception of wrong is the thing that causes your suffering. It’s simply a habit of perspective. You may have been programmed into perceiving the limited version of Tistrya, this is true. But that programming may be dismantled at any time. In doing so, you will feel much less negative emotion (i.e. suffering). When you perceive yourself to be bad or wrong in any way, your inner self sends you a message in the form of negative emotion. The message is that you are not looking at the true reality, but instead, you are succumbing to the illusion brought on by fear. It’s simply a matter of compiled and intrenched limiting beliefs that have gained some momentum. You can begin to reduce that momentum by acknowledging that you are a magnificent and limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. Therefore, you are good and right as you are. You may practice yoga, because it is pleasurable, but it means nothing more than that. You are not good for practicing yoga or bad if you don’t. It’s simply a source of pleasure. You enjoy how it makes you feel and that is very good. But it does not define you, just as nothing can define that which is limitless.

One who smokes weed to escape their fears is different than one who smokes weed for pleasure. One who practices yoga to control the shape of their body (and life) is different than one who receives pleasure from the practice. One is a form of control and the other is a form of love. This is true in all aspects of your life. You are trying to control your fears by controlling yourself and there is no pleasure, power or allowing in that.

If you perceive something to be wrong or bad, you choose that perspective. The subject is never wrong or bad, it is neutral. Your beliefs are either empowering or limiting. If you have a limiting belief, something will trigger it and you will feel fear because you are looking at it from a limited perspective. Your inner self never feels fear. Your inner self is always allowing. Why is that? Your inner self fears nothing, because it has no limiting beliefs. Your inner self is limitless and so are you.

Humans like to perceive the bad in order to feel the good. That is quite a nice game, but it is entirely fabricated. You need not hold onto any limiting belief. You may process all of your limiting beliefs. You need not choose the limited perspective. The higher perspective is always available to you. You may discover who you truly are. In doing this, you will end your suffering, not because anything in your reality changes, only because you have become proficient at choosing the higher perspective. Yes, the more you allow, the more you choose the higher perspective and the less suffering you will face. Your goal is not to control yourself, any one else, of the conditions. Your goal is to find clarity and choose to view everything (especially yourself) from the higher perspective.

With our love,
We are Joshua