I had an erotic vision when I first met my previous boss. I found it weird at first and I didn’t have any feelings for her until I realised that she kept checking me out. I couldn’t sleep and had been thinking of her for a few months then finally I told her I liked her and what I went through since I met her. She rejected me by saying she is straight and old.
In the end our relationship turned really bad and I left the area. It’s been half a year now. I still think of her every day and occasionally we see each other outside the building as I still work at the same department and we pretend we didn’t know each other. Joshua, please tell me what does it mean and why can’t I stop thinking of her? Why do I need to go through this?
There is no wrong anywhere in the universe. You were not wrong and she was not wrong. We understand that you would like her to be different than she is. She understands that she is different than she pretends to be. That is true of many, many people. When one has a belief that certain things are considered wrong, one limits their experience of life due to these limiting beliefs.
First know that this was an event that was arranged for the both of you. You cannot hope for anyone to be different than they are. They might change on their own, but there is nothing you can do to create in their reality. This event might reduce the intensity of some of her limiting beliefs or she may hold steadfast to those beliefs. That is for her to decide. You also have an option. You can believe that she is wrong, that the event was wrong, or that you are wrong. Or you can choose to believe that the event was beneficial if you can see how.
If you are inspired to approach another, and you are following that inspiration because you feel that it would be nice to be with another person, then ultimately the action taken from a place of inspiration will lead to your highest good and be for your benefit. However, if you come from a place of desperation or loneliness and you are attempting to ease that pain, then you will receive urges and compulsions designed to relieve that pain. These actions will often lead to situations that feel painful in the moment, however, they will also help you birth new desires.
You are worthy of the relationship you desire. This person may not be the person who will enter your life and fulfill your desires for this relationship. However, if you can remain open to the possibility that you can find love, can find happiness, and can find a compassionate and co-creative partner, then as long as you allow for the possibility of this type of connection, on equal terms, it will be given to you. However, you must create an environment where this can occur. You must be comfortable with who you really are. You must appreciate all the gifts and positive aspects of your own personality. You must come to appreciate yourself fully first, and then create the desire to meet someone who is a match to the finest aspects of yourself. In other words, love yourself first and be ready for whomever shows up. Whomever shows up must be allowed to be who they are also. If you can accept yourself as you are and accept everyone else as who they are being, you will be able to enjoy a lasting and meaningful relationship.
You don’t always receive what you think is best for you, but you do always receive what is actually best for you. The only difference is your perception. You think you know how things should work out, but there are steps to be taken on the way to what you truly want. Don’t be fooled by the steps along your path to the ultimate manifestation of your desire, for they are just steps. When the one you want arrives, you will be ready and it will be obvious.
With our love,
We are Joshua