Hello Joshua and all,
I hope you are having a good time in spirit with my Beloved Kahlua and of course, Prince. I have a very deep question to ask. I was recently dating a guy, and have decided that he is not the guy for me. However upon deciding to end it, I had many feelings that I feel were transferred to me as a child from my mother. Meaning, I feel that I have stored these negative feelings inside of me for years.
You see when my parents divorced my mother took 70 valium and tried to kill herself. She was not successful, Thank God! Never the less, I had all of these terrible feelings of myself and inadequacies once I made the decision to not date this particular guy anymore. How can I learn from this experience to not have to relive it again, I feel that I have had these feelings before maybe not so intense, but I have had variations of them.
Thank you so much for listening. I love reading the books you have channeled through Gary. I am currently reading A Perception of Reality. Wow! Very deep. Thank you for your insightful manner!
You have many beliefs and fears that have been transferred to you from others. You believe the fears to be yours, yet they are not yours, they belong to those who influenced you to adopt them. You can leave them behind if you choose to.
All beliefs can be raised or lowered in intensity. Beneficial beliefs are those that help you get whatever it is you want and are based in love. Limiting beliefs limit you in some way and are based in fear. Fear is either rational or irrational. Rational fear involves activity which has the potential to kill you. Irrational fear arises in situations where you cannot be killed. Fear of petting a lion is a rational fear. Fear of asking someone on a date is an irrational fear. If you cannot die from the activity, it is an irrational fear.
When your mother attempted suicide at the end of the relationship, you perceived relationships in the same way you perceive rational fear. Relationships can kill you. The fear you feel when facing a rational fear is more intense that the fear you face when the activity cannot kill you. You feel intense fear at the thought of a relationship ending and so you either do not launch yourself fully into a relationship, or you end it before the other person can, thereby avoiding the life-threatening ramifications you believe are possible.
We are not saying that the fear isn’t real, we are saying that it was transferred to you by your mother and it was her fear, not yours. She went through a divorce and for her death seemed to be the appropriate response. You have not gone through such a relationship. You have not experienced it first hand. You observed your mother and you adopted the belief that relationships could end in death. This is simply not true. Your limiting belief is based on an irrational fear and is completely false.
Now, how do you prove this to yourself? You have been in relationships that ended and no one died or tried to commit suicide. You have friends who have ended relationships and no one has died or committed suicide. You have many examples to choose from. You can look at statistics. You can know that what happened to you was a transference of belief and you can choose to see it from another perspective.
You may love another with abandon and without fear of it ending. If it ends, you can love another without fear of it ending either. You can throw yourself fully into a relationship and if it ends, nothing will happen. You might choose to look at the end of a relationship from a limited perspective, but nothing truly bad will ever happen to you. You are safe. You can enter and leave relationships easily and freely. There is nothing to fear.
When negative emotion arises within you, it is irrational fear. Do your work. Look at the fear as irrational. Know that it is false. Prove that it is false. Soothe yourself often by proving over and over that it is a false fear and in time you will reduce the intensity of the fear so that you can engage fully in a loving and fulfilling relationship. This is your desire. This is the path you chose. This is what you are here to explore. There are no accidents and there are no coincidences. You chose your mother and you chose your trajectory. This is your specific aspect of reality that you came here to explore. Now start exploring.
We are Joshua.