Dear Joshua,

Thank you very much for answering my question from 2016-10-11. I’m reading it over and over and over again. You said: “You must choose to feel good by releasing your resentment, forgiving your partner, and realizing that this was all done for your benefit.” I think I understand that, but the question in my head that is repeating constantly is HOW?

How do you release resentment?? Every thing I try (like looking away, or focusing on something else) feels like I’m faking it. Intellectually and by action I can do whatever is appropriate by LOA, but my emotions are not changing. Thank you once again for taking the time to answer me.

Ivana

Dear Ivana,

We understand that this is a difficult problem for you and you are attached to the issue. Finding the solution will be hard given how close you are to the situation and how strong your beliefs are around this subject. We praise your willingness to converse with us and to see it from a higher perspective.

What has happened, has happened and there’s nothing you can do about it now. You can either believe that you are a victim of fate and this event was created by chance and it has the power to create in your reality or you can look at it from another perspective. Let’s say that there is no chance, no luck, no fate, and others cannot create in your reality. If this is true, then you are the creator of your reality. We know this to be the absolute truth, but you are free to believe anything you want.

If you are a victim of fate, there’s nothing to be gained from this experience. If you are the creator of your reality, then you created this experience. As a creator, nothing can ever happen to you, it is always for your benefit. So, if you are willing to believe that you are the creator of your reality and that this has happened for you, then what was the benefit of this experience?

It might be difficult to define that now. From your limited perspective, you can’t really see how this will all unfold for the best. Maybe you will learn to express your love despite the actions and behaviors of others. This would perfectly align with who you really are. Ultimately, you are a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. You love, you do not require love. You find people to love, not people to love you. You think you want people to love you in return, but you do not. When you ask people to love you, you are doing so out of fear. When you do this, you must judge every behavior in the same way. If they loved me, they would not do that, this, or the other. It is a conditional kind of love. As long as they are behaving in the way you deem appropriate, you believe they truly love you. But if they act out of accordance with your demands, you will believe that they don’t love you. You are actually the one who decides if they love you or not. It has nothing to do with them.

Now, here’s the interesting part. If you love unconditionally, it is for your benefit. You don’t require any acts of love from other people to prove they love you. You just accept them as they are and choose to believe they love you despite their behavior. This way you always feel love.

We hear you saying that you can only know you are loved when other people show their love by their actions, otherwise it’s meaningless. Yes, if you want to believe that, and that makes you happy, then we agree. However, if someone brings you flowers, does that mean they love you? If they remember your birthday, does that mean they love you? What other criteria will you place on your definition of love. It might be a very lengthy list. The only reason you need any display of love is to soothe your insecurity about being abandoned or left alone. As a being of love, you can never be abandoned or lonely. As a being who requires that everyone show their signs they love you, you must constantly be on alert for signs of love otherwise you will worry.

If someone is unfaithful and this causes you to feel fear, think about the fear. You believe that this means they do not love you, or do not love you enough. This is not true. It does not mean anything. Your perception of the event is the only thing that gives it meaning. You can choose to feel betrayed or you can choose to feel loved. That is your choice. You think the reality is that you were betrayed, but this is simply an excuse to feel bad. You could choose a much more empowering perspective. We will not give you our perspective here, because you must find one on your own.

You can decide that this is too much for you and so you will carry the resentment around with you for the rest of your life. Or you can choose to release resentment, forgive your mate, and create a more powerful and loving relationship because that’s what you decide you want. If you carry the resentment, it will affect the rest of your life (including your health), but it will have no effect on your mate. You will live with it. You will suffer from it. You will live a more limited life because of it.

If you choose to forgive and decide to work on strengthening the relationship, then you are moving toward something you want. If you decide to leave the relationship and find another mate, then focus on what you want and do not regret the past. Move forward, one way or the other, and do not look back. The most important thing to remember is that this is a feeling reality and you do not want to feel resentment for very long. It does not feel good.

Your emotions are your guidance system. Since your perspective is limited, you cannot see how you will get everything you want. If this event happened in your reality, then it was for your benefit. The reason you feel bad is because you’ve accepted a perspective that is not accurate. You inner self knows what you want and is looking at this situation knowing that it is part of your journey to receive all that you want. You will be afforded the opportunity to alter your beliefs about love and fidelity. If you change your beliefs, you will have altered your vibration and what you want can come to you. If you insist that this event was wrong or that your mate was wrong, or that anything was wrong, you do not change your beliefs and your vibration will not become aligned with what you truly want. Therefore, it’s all up to you. Change your perspective and you will alter your beliefs. This is how you change your vibration to become a match to what you want.

This was no accident, it was all designed to help you alter your beliefs. In that regard it was a gift, even though it feels awful.

With our love,
We are Joshua