Dear Joshua,

I know that my partner is the perfect mirror to my feelings, but I do not understand what was I feeling about myself that I would attract his infidelity after 15 years of marriage. It’s been over a year ago, but feelings of hurt and betrayal do not pass. Iʼm not able to “forgive” or make peace with this manifestation. I live in constant fear of him doing it again, to the point that I sometimes feel sorry that he didn’t leave me for the other woman (which by his words was never his intention), rather than living in constant fear, and acting needy, controlling, and possessive.

Knowing about LOA makes me even more fearful, panicking, better said because I know I attract what I’m focusing on. But it seems to me that I’m stuck like glue to this issue, and Iʼve not been able to move forward. Intellectually, I do get the teachings, but emotionally somehow I can’t figure it out. Hoping for answer, thank you!

Ivana

Dear Ivana,

It does seem as though something wrong happened to you. We can understand that from your perspective the illusion of wrong and the feeling of betrayal is very powerful. However, nothing wrong happened to you, something wonderful happened for you. If you can see that perspective, then everything you want will come to you. If you choose to hold onto this resentment, then you will fall into a trap from which it will be difficult to escape.

Who you truly are is a limitless and eternal being of pure positive love and acceptance. That is the true you. Who you are being in this life as Ivana is something more limited. What you want to do is move toward who you really are, a being of love and acceptance, instead of the fearful person who you see when you look in the mirror. The true version of you is a being of love and that is a being without fear. If you had no fear, you would not be upset by the infidelity. The fear causes you to feel negative emotion and to look at the situation from a limiting perspective. Alter your perspective and suddenly the fear is less intense.

What we will tell you is that nothing bad happened to you, it actually happened for you. You consider infidelity a bad thing and something that should be avoided. But why? If you love your partner unconditionally, wouldnʼt you want him to be able to express himself sexually? Of course you would. Does this condition make you love him less? If it does, then you are not loving unconditionally, your love comes with certain conditions. Would you want him to be different than he is? If so you are asking for the impossible and you must find someone who is different rather than asking for him to be different than he is.

We are not asking you to forgive him and love him no mater what behavior he chooses so that he may feel better. We are asking you to forgive him so that you may come to a new awareness about Law of Attraction and how the universe really works. You did not attract a bad thing, you attracted the thing you needed that would cause you to look at life differently. You see, you are not a vibrational match to what you want because you are living life as a victim rather than a creator. You create your own reality. You know this is true, yet you operate as if you are a victim of fate. This manifestation is causing you to look at how you are creating in a whole new way.

You do not create your reality by asking others to be different than they are or by trying to control the conditions. You create your reality by choosing how you will interpret your world so that you may feel good. It is a matter of being easy with the conditions and then focusing on what you want. So what do you want?

You want to love, you want to feel good, you want to feel safe. These are all very good things. You should feel good. Feeling good is the only thing that really matters in a reality where all you are doing is feeling something. So how do you feel good? Do you feel good by hoping and praying that this never happens again (or that nothing bad ever happens), or do you feel better by realizing that nothing bad has happened and by looking at the matter from a much higher perspective of love.

You have someone to love, not everyone can say that. You understand more about the mechanism of physical reality and the laws of the universe and not many can say that. You have the ability to choose your thoughts and your perspective; few can do that. If you can see that this incident is not wrong and you can begin to feel better about it, then you can look at everything else and see that nothing is wrong. If you can look at this event from a higher perspective and feel better as a result, then you can look at everything from the higher perspective and feel better. Most people would focus on the infidelity and feel betrayed, which is a negative feeling. They would carry this negative feeling for a long time. The negative feeling would grow and the resentment would begin to cause unwanted physical conditions. If you do not release your resentment, you will continue to feel inner conflict and this feeling will continue to stress your body.

You have a choice: live in love and release your resentment and feel better or live in fear and hold on to your resentment and feel worse and worse and worse. How you feel is the only thing that matters, so your choice is a simple one. You must choose to feel good by releasing your resentment, forgiving your partner, and realizing that this was all done for your benefit.

It is all in your hands now.

You are loved unconditionally and supported completely.

Joshua