Dear Joshua,

I have a question regarding relationships. I’m living with a great guy, and we have been together for almost three years. The relationship has taught me so much, so I really appreciate him and the spiritual progress that I’m making.

On the downside, he is verbally abusive. He explodes and calls me all kinds of unpleasant things. I know that this is something within him and has nothing to do with me. But today, I had this question arising within me: when am I being accepting of somebody else’s behaviour and when am I letting somebody treat me as a doormat?
Where ought I draw the line?

Part of the answer, I think, is the fact that I often get stuck in “victimhood” where I feel that people do something to me. I see myself in relation to others all the time and try to live up to others’ expectations.

Thank you!
Kind regards

Dear Isabella,

This is your reality. You not only create your reality, you have control over it. The control you have is through the deliberate and conscious creation of desires. Your desires are emitted through your vibration and the instant you create a desire, the universe is on the job and is bringing it to you. All you can do is allow it to come or resist it.

You are not a match to your desire and so that is why it does not exist in your reality. If you want to become a match to it, then you must change. You change by altering your beliefs. You have some beliefs that are beneficial and some that are limiting. In order to change your frequency so that you can match what it is you want, you must adjust your set of beliefs, the thoughts you think, your perception of the world, your attitude, your mood, and your approach to life. Seems like a lot of work, doesn’t it?

However, you do not actually need to do anything other than maintain your alignment with your inner self. You see, your inner self knows everything you want and is holding a perspective that will get you all that you want. If you can hold the same perspective, you will receive all that you want, every single desire, every last one. Now, being in alignment with your inner self is not always so easy. Sometimes, you will feel negative emotion. This means that your perspective is currently different than your inner self’s perspective. This is a message from your inner self letting you know that you are entertaining a limiting belief that is causing fear to distract you from the desire you want to manifest. Whatever is causing you to feel bad, to feel fear, to take a limited perspective on yourself, your life, and the conditions around you, is based on a limiting belief. This is your opportunity to examine it and come to a new conclusion.

Your limiting belief is based in some irrational fear. The thing you fear is not real. It is irrational, but you still believe it’s real. So you conclude things about yourself that are not true. This causes you to perceive your reality in a way that is limiting and completely false. It causes you to believe in an illusion. When you can actually look at a fear and prove to yourself that the fear is false, you do the work required to reduce the intensity of that one fear. This is the new approach to life.

In the old approach to life, you would call your mate wrong for speaking to you in that way. You would ask him to change so that you could feel better. In the new approach to life, you look at your fear and analyze it. Why does it cause you to feel negative emotion when he raises his voice in anger? it has nothing to do with you, but you feel fear. Why is that, you wonder? Here’s what you might be thinking; “It’s because maybe I am a victim. Maybe I am not the creator of my reality. Maybe I am not worthy of being treated well or loved in the manner I deserve. It is not him who is causing these outbursts, it’s me because I have this limiting belief that I need to be loved before I can feel worthy. Since I don’t feel worthy, since I still feel a little like a victim, he is simply responding to how I feel. I created this. I attracted this. This is all for me. Now I get it.”

“Well, is it true? Am I a victim of fate or the creator of my reality? I am the Creator. Am I worthy of love or do I need someone to make me feel worthy? I know that no one else can make me feel worthy. I know that I am worthy. I bought my ticket to Earth just like everyone else. I deserve to be here just as everyone else does. I can have, be, and do anything I want because I am unique and worthy. Therefore, I am worthy and as soon as I begin to feel it on the inside and no longer need it on the outside, I will create a new reality. In that reality, my mate will either treat me as the worthy and wonderful person I am or he will leave to make room for someone who will. That’s just how it will work and I do not fear any of that because I know that the universe is always responding to my true desires, so I have faith that it is always working out for me.”

This is how you analyze a limiting belief and prove to yourself that it is false. When you do this once, you reduce the intensity of the belief a little. When you do it every single time it comes up, you reduce the intensity of the belief to the extent that it no longer has a limiting effect on your life and your reality will shift as a result. Fears will never disappear completely. There will always be fear. But if you can get good at analyzing the fears and limiting beliefs, just as we have described here, you will take control of the conscious creation of your reality and life will become so sweet as everything you desire unfolds as if by magic.

You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count. Create the life you desire by understanding your magnificence and absolute worthiness.

We are Joshua