Joshua,

Let me apologize at the beginning if this is too long of a question. Honestly, I’m not even sure how to start off. I’ve been exposed to LOA for some time now, from various sources. I’ve always recognized an energy, or a “rhythm” to life. There have been times in my life where I have been “tuned in” to that vibration much more so than others, but those times are few, and I can’t recall any actions on my part that made that “tuning in” possible at times more than others. In fact, I always considered it more subliminal, and never thought about it as a “science”, or a mindset.

That being said, I want to ask about what the heck has been going on with me the last year or so. I went through a very hard time about 7 years ago, and have spent the last 5 years “rebuilding” my life. The major portion of that time I tucked myself away in a tidy little apartment, and the only relationship I put any time into at all was that with my youngest daughter Emma. I developed a healthy routine for myself, and finally my life started to feel like it was moving in the right direction again. My career was flourishing, I was repairing my relationship with my oldest daughter, my parents found a new respect for me, and my bond with my little girl kept me grounded and centered. I was happier, and emotionally healthier than I could ever remember.

Interpersonal relationships have always been a struggle for me, and I had pretty much resigned myself to a series of “friends with benefits” type of relationships that required minimal investment on my part, and considered this a suitable surrogate for intimacy. Life was good. I feel like I should have seen it coming I guess. It’s so cliche.

After 6 months of near bliss, my routine was shattered when I found out that my little girl would be moving to southern Texas, as her mother had married a soldier, and his duty station was changing. I’d spent every weekend for 4 years with my little girl, and I was terrified at what I would be without her around to nurture my spirit. Terrified of the emptiness that would be left in her place. Terrified of what would surely happen to my life without her influence. After all, she was the only person I’d ever felt truly worthy of being unconditionally loved by.

Around this same time, I met a very interesting young woman (whom I think you know), who was studying the laws of attraction. A buddy of mine had introduced me to the concept a year or two before, and although I was open minded about the idea, I didn’t put a lot of thought into it. The night I met K was one of those nights I subliminally felt “tuned in”. I often go out alone, find a quiet spot in the corner, and just listen and watch all the various interactions and exchanges going on around me.

Even if I do feel compelled to speak at times, I rarely act on that compulsion, and even more rarely let it lead to a conversation. When I spoke out the group at the next table that night, I did so without even thinking about it. When the attractive young lady at the table openly engaged me in conversation, I didn’t shy away from her questions, and let myself give in to the energy that we had. The “vibrations” as you call them. It was exciting! I knew immediately that this was someone exceptional, as we seemed to compliment each others views.

After that night, as we spoke more and more, I found that she was able to take me out of my comfort zone, without being uncomfortable, and she constantly challenged the paradigms I had put myself into. It seems that all 3 of our parts (body, mind, spirit) were quite compatible. She even inadvertently helped me with my daughter’s absence after she moved away to TX. After several months of haphazard interactions, I was surprised when she told me she wanted more, and even more surprised that it didn’t scare me.

Which brings me to my question. In order to effect the laws of attraction, they say to visualize what you want. Why don’t I know what I want? You mentioned in response to her inquiry about me that my unhappiness over my daughter’s moving was due to a conflict between my true self and my perception. Have I been mistaking complacency for happiness? “Good enough” for “ideal?” How can I optimize my ability to “tune in” to these occurrences and gain insight?

Thanks for your time and attention.

“The Gentleman Friend”

Dear Gentleman Friend,

You certainly do not need to effect the Law of Attraction, just as you have no need to effect the Law of Gravity. You simply ease your resistance to what is coming, based on the vibration you are emitting. Your vibration tells the true story of what you want. You could not properly articulate it even if you wrote several books about your desire.

Here’s how the Law of Attraction works: you experience life and through your experiences you create preferences, ideas, and desires. Now, if there is something that you want in life but it does not exist in your reality, it’s because you are not currently a vibrational match to it. You must undergo a change in order to receive that which you want. As soon as you ask for something, the Law of Attraction starts bringing it to you. But since you are not yet a match to it, you must change.

For some things the change is easy to make and for other things the change might be rather difficult. You might need to move outside your comfort zone so to speak. This might be quite uncomfortable and the discomfort is actually your resistance to change. In your case, it’s a resistance to allowing someone to get close to you for fear they will leave or be taken away. Is this a recurring theme in your life?

For you, it is now easier not to create any attachments since you believe they cannot last. This is a limiting belief and it is not true. The reality is you are eternally linked with everyone you know. You can never lose anyone in your life. They will be with you forever. However, the illusion of physical reality is one where people seem to go away and from your perspective this feels painful. If you adopted a higher perspective, it would no longer be painful.

In the nonphysical, which is your home, you can never lose anyone you know. In the physical you come to play roles and explore things you can’t experience in the nonphysical. You might choose to explore poverty in this earthly environment because all you have in the nonphysical is abundance. You might come to explore fear, because fear does not exist in the nonphysical. Or you might explore the concept of loss, because loss is not possible in the nonphysical. Whatever you come here to explore, you do so because the dynamic is expansive and provides you with more depth and expansion.

However, you are meant to expand in joy. Imagine losing things or people for most of your life and then gaining another perspective. Imagine if you were so distraught by the experience of loss that you holed yourself up in a little apartment trying not to lose anything ever again. And now you create this desire to experience a relationship. On the one hand this is a wonderful and enjoyable thing. But for you, it becomes very scary. There is a lot of fear involved. Your initial response is to shy away from attachment, yet the idea is exciting. What do you do?

You embrace the new relationship with every fiber of your being and you move outside your comfort zone while opening yourself up completely and fully. You do not hide any aspect of who you really are. You be your authentic self and just see what happens. You lean into the relationship and push past your fear of loss because we have just told you that you cannot lose anything. If the relationship ends, then you gained a wonderful experience, but you have not lost anything. You and K are eternally linked. When you return to the nonphysical, you will rejoice over this experience whether the time together in physical reality was short or long by your earthly perspective. From the nonphysical perspective, a single life is but a blink of the eye.

With our love and appreciation,
We are Joshua