Hi Joshua,

As long as I can remember I bought hook, line, and sinker into this limiting belief that money, job status of yourself and spouse was the ruler/rubric of happiness in life. I experienced that deeply all throughout childhood. My parents were unhappily insecure, jealous and always wanting. I’ve always defined myself by what I had, my job title or who I am with. So I guess my pattern was to wait for my perception of what others around me thought for me to be happy or not.

For example, I have felt really good when people tell me I’m lucky, admire what I have, tell me how wonderful my husband is, tell me how great my children are. I have been really good at perceiving outsiders viewing me positively, therefore always eliciting what I needed from them regarding me (my job, my looks). A big issue has always been around men in my life. I see now how this all has been created by me. What I view as acceptable/unacceptable all revolved around how I perceive what others are thinking/ saying. Over the years it seems like as I worried more about my husband’s social behavior/job status both of those things got a lot worse in my reality!! Oh the stories I can tell! Go figure.

Why do I feel like anything about him or what he does defines my worthiness? How messed up is that? I’d really like to be Zapped and to automatically understand that it is about my perception and the feeling I want to feel, not fixing something, or aspiring to something, or necessarily doing something, but it’s having the feeling I want to feel. I’ve always thought I need to change his behavior to feel good. Seems like logically anyone would look at the scenario as I do. We stopped socializing partly because sometimes when he drinks too much, which I can’t control, he acts like a buffoon. The “Buffoonness” can range from stupid to deranged maniac.

Over the years we have fought so much about what to me was painful, sometimes extreme embarrassment, which leads to me not feeling worthy because I think about all the horrible things people say. It’s my persona, I know I’m trying to protect it. I’m feeling less because I think that people are judging me by saying, how can I be with this guy why don’t I have somebody that acts good, respectable, or different? Why don’t I have somebody better?

On the other hand, when you talk about lucky, this guy for me was like hitting the jackpot. He has such a deep love for me, for my children, for my mother and for my sisters. He is really beautiful on the inside and out. We are different, of course, like everybody is, but I treasure him and love him very much. He can be so spontaneous, so much fun, usually a great match for me and the way I like to have fun, but when it tips over the edge and it isn’t fun for me or I don’t judge it as fun, that’s when I start to go down a bad hole. I know I have rambled, but I think I have asked a question. I have been at this LOA for awhile and love it like a passion. I will never get enough of it. I understand this limiting belief will always be mine. I am grateful to have found the teachings of Joshua because it is the absolute next step from Abraham. I look forward to more growth and inspiration.

Thank you for being in my reality.
Elyse

Dear Elyse,

Remember that you chose your family and your trajectory that would cause you to adopt your limiting belief that how others perceives you means something. It’s a double-edged sword. On one side you are able to perceive others as if they thought well of you. You don’t know if they do or not, you simply perceive it that way and since this a beneficial belief fully in alignment with what your inner self knows, you feel good. The alignment is what causes you to feel good, not the positive perception of others.

On the other edge of that sword are those terrible times when you believe others think poorly of you, even though you personally have nothing to do with the actions of your husband or anyone else in the entire world. This blade cuts deep because as you find your worth in the eyes of others, you also find unworthiness in those same eyes. It is never them, it is simply your fear causing you to adopt a limited perspective that is out of alignment with your inner self. You feel bad not because of what others think, but because you are choosing a limited perspective. You are out of alignment and that feels bad. This is how you have been operating most of your life and you chose all of this.

Now, why in the world would you purposely chose a childhood where you knew for certain that you would adopt this limiting belief? Wouldn’t life be so much easier if you could just have chosen a childhood where this belief was not part of the package? Of course not. This is an aspect of physical reality that you truly wanted to explore and now you are fully immersed in the nuanced exploration of this subject. This is what has caused you to become interested in Law of Attraction, Abraham, and now us. Everything unfolded perfectly. You manifested everything that exists in your life based on this one limiting belief and the vast majority of it is very, very good indeed. In fact, if you get this next piece of the puzzle, you won’t believe how magical your life will become.

You realize that the belief that you are defined by other people’s opinions and perceptions of who you are is limiting, false, and based on an irrational fear. You realize that looking outside yourself for signs of worthiness is impossible. You know that you are self-contained and you can chose the beliefs, perceptions, and perspectives that are empowering rather than limiting. You understand that the creation of your reality is in your own hands, not anyone else’s. So then, as the creator of your reality, what will you chose to create from this point forward?

You are standing at the perfect place to create the reality you prefer. You have come to learn much about the laws of the universe, why you are here, and the purpose of physical reality. You know that you are here to move from a position of fear to a position of love. What is love really? It is acceptance. What are you accepting? You are accepting that everything is right, that there is no wrong, that if it happens in your reality that the experience is happening for you, not to you. Your husband has to act like a buffoon. It is not possible for him not to. If he chose not to, if he chose to believe that his value was predicated on what you or others think of him, he could not help you out of your habit of judgment and your prison built with the bars of other people’s perceptions of you. If it wasn’t him, it would have been someone else close to you, like one of your children. Would you prefer that? We think not. He is doing it for you, not to you.

Now, we are not saying that he doesn’t have his own issues revolving around worthiness, we just know that the two of you are a perfect match and each other’s most valued teachers. You are in this together to work out issues around authenticity and acceptance. You are not who you think you are and neither is he. You are both living life defined by the false concept of who you think you are as defined by your persona. You want your persona to be shiny and admired, because you think that will make you feel good. But that is just trying to control the outside conditions so that you have an excuse to feel good. Unfortunately, you cannot control your husband and because he upsets your fragile persona, this gives you an excuse to feel bad. You are living by the old approach to life. Give up your control and adopt a fearless stance of acceptance and authenticity. This is what you truly want.

You cannot be authentic until you give up your habit of judgment. You are so used to judging others that you actually cause yourself to judge the most important person in your life. It’s not your husband, it’s you. Because of your habit of judgment, you cannot be who you really are. You cannot be the authentic version of Elyse. You are imprisoned in that phony persona. It is your shell, but now it’s time to remove your shell and step into your authenticity. It’s time to become who you really are.

Who Elyse really is is a limitless (fearless) being of pure positive love and acceptance. Love is acceptance. Judgment is based in fear. In the nonphysical there is no judgment because it is a realm free from fear. In the physical world, fear is a prolific aspect. But most of the fear you feel is irrational and false and need not be indulged. You are perfect as you are. Your husband is perfect as he is. You came into this reality so that you could help each other understand the nuances of the false persona in the context of worthiness, fear, judgment, and acceptance. The difference between who you are being as a figment of your persona and who you really are, is simply fear as it is encapsulated by control. Once you give up control, you will find it easier to give up your judgment. Once you give up the concept of wrong or bad, and accept everything as right, you will find it more difficult to judge. When you give up judgment, you become authentic. When you no longer judge others, especially your husband, you will stop judging yourself so harshly. You will move toward love and acceptance and this is your authentic self.

You came to this reality as a unique and worthy expression of source with the intention to live a life that has never been lived before. As you explore this concept of fear and judgment juxtaposed against a backdrop of love and acceptance, you do so in a totally unique way. You don’t understand the magnificence that is you. You are unbelievably powerful as your authentic self. You have this limiting belief that limits your experience of life and while you intended this, you also intended to move through it to become a shining example of alignment and in doing so you will reveal your authentic self and give up your attachment to the meaningless and illusory opinions of others. Then your reality will shift to a completely new level of consciousness and awareness. Think about the possibilities involved in that. Are you excited yet?

You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count.

We are Joshua