Dear Joshua,

A and I met 14 months ago and hit it off from the start.. We had many fights in the Las 8 months as I hoped for him to commit to our relationship as I did..but trust issues on my side and commitment issues on his brought us to breaking up today.. The first time I saw him, a little voice in me said "He’s the One".. So I persevered..we both did..but everything came to a head since yesterday and I had to let him go.. My question is: Will we get back together again? And if so, will we both work on ourselves and our relationship, and lead us to our marriage and having a family together?

Thank you,

Dear Anonymous,

You emit a powerful and attractive vibration and in the area of love, you receive the exact match to your vibration. It is the Law of Attraction and in the area of relationships you always get the person that you are a match to. When we say the word “match” we a referring to compatible personality traits. For instance, if one is shy, the person they attract will be more outgoing because the shy person sees this as a positive attribute that is lacking in themselves. However, once the relationship starts, the shy person will soon come to feel that the outgoing personality trait of their mate is annoying or makes them feel worse about themselves and they attept to make the outgoing person more reserved.

Generally, you will attract a person with certain features that you admire and other traits that you don’t see in yourself. This is why the phrase “opposites attract” is used so often. The same is true of the other person. He will find traits in you he admires because he feels that he is lacking in those areas. It is this dynamic that often causes conflict in the early stages of relationships.

We cannot say if your relationship will recover, but there is a possibility. You must come to understand that the success or failure of this relationship and all others you may have in the future, whether it is a love relationship, a mother-child relationship, or a friendship, is always controlled by you. You are the one who determines the outcome of the relationship, never the other person.

This is your reality and you get to choose how you perceive the other person. You can look at the aspects you like in the other person and appreciate them for the wonderful, unique and worthy person they are, or you can look at the traits you see as unattractive, lacking, or annoying. You can accept the person as he is, or you can try to change him into someone he is not. If you choose to appreciate and accept him as he is, knowing he is a perfect match to you based on your vibration, then he will slowly become the person of your dreams. If you decide you must change him into the person you want him to be, you will change him into a version of himself that you really do not like and he will resist you every step of the way.

You have a choice with every single person that enters your life. You can understand that the Law of Attraction brought you together because you are a match, or you can try to change who they are so that you can feel better. They will never change and so this approach is pointless. You must change your approach to them. You must constantly love and appreciate just who they really are and accept them fully as the unique and wonderful person they are. You cannot ask the same of them. They might try to change you for a while. But you can look at that part of them that wants you to change and you can accept that this is just something people do. You no longer need to change others and in doing so, every relationship you have with everyone will become amazing.

You are loved more than you could imagine.