What is my inner conflict that keeps me from getting better? Is there something I am missing?
I feel that because of your answers I have improved my thoughts and my words, but I still feel terrible.
Do you understand that you are a vibrational being in a vibrational reality? Do you really know what that means? It means that what you are perceiving with your senses is not as real as you think it is. It’s just a vibration of a tree, of a house, of a chair, of a pain, of a condition.
So how do these vibrations form in your reality? Have you ever thought about that. Why do you see the color blue so vibrantly and vividly compared to another who sees it just as blue and nothing more? It’s because it’s important to you. You are interested in the colors of your world. You are interested in making beauty where there once was ugliness. You see the potential in these things. You very much want to create beauty out of the discarded or frail or dull. It is this transformation you seek. You see the value in the transformed.
So your day is spent judging this as good and this as bad. It is how you have viewed everything in your life for a long time. You have very firm set opinions on everything. It is either good or bad. If it’s good, you can appreciate it. If it’s bad, you want to change it. It is an enviable talent that you have that can transform something so that others can see the value in the transformed object. But it is a difficult approach to life because there are some things that you cannot transform and you just see them as wrong or bad.
Mostly its the conditions in the moment that cause conflict within. You want things to be better than they are in the moment. But you cannot instantly transform a chair. It must be painted and upholstered and that takes thought, planning, and time. The same is true of the conditions you do not like. You cannot change the conditions in the moment. You must use your thought and allow the conditions to improve over time.
Here is a real world example for you. You are given a chair that someone has thrown out and left on the curb. You see the possibilities within the chair. You can appreciate the structure of the chair and the quality of its bones. You can see the chair transformed in your mind before you even choose a fabric or a paint color. You see the possibilities and so you appreciate the chair in its current condition. The one who threw out the chair saw it as useless. You can see its potential.
Now imagine the conditions that exist in your day. You go to work and something annoys you. It may be a person you are interacting with. It may be a problem you have encountered. Your habit is to see it as an unwanted condition and you want it not to exist. But like the chair that’s been thrown out, the condition has potential for something good. You must learn to see the good in everything you don’t like. You must condition your thoughts to see the potential in everyone, every thing, and every present condition. You must not want to change the condition in the moment as you know it takes thought and time to transform anything.
It is your current approach to life that is causing your inner conflict. You are creating conditions that will be good. But when something occurs in the moment and you judge it as bad, you are not allowing your creative abilities to follow out the plan you have set in motion. You are condemning the old chair before anyone has had a chance to work on it. You are not seeing the potential, you are only seeing the flaws. Allow the painter to paint and the upholsterer to upholster. Allow the universe to transform your world and your life will start to move in the direction of your desires.
So, if you want an easing of your pain, be easy on everyone and everything that is not perfect. Allow the conditions to improve over time and see the potential in everything. Improve your mood. Stop trying to fix things because nothing is broken. It’s all working out for you if you allow it. Just see the positive aspects and don’t mind anything you perceive as negative. Love what is.