Firstly, I want to apologize for the graphic nature of my question. Back in 2001, I was diagnosed with UC which resulted in an emergency hospital stay as traditional meds and treatment only exacerbated my symptoms. While in the hospital, still unresponsive to treatment, my colon perforated which led to emergency surgery to remove my colon. Afterward, my surgeon commented, that he was shocked to find that my colon had literally fallen apart in his hands unlike anything he had professionally experienced before. I mention this only to point out the extent to which my body was waving the red flag, so to speak.
After the surgery, I experienced unbridled rage and suspected that my colon had been the reservoir for it, up until its removal. The symptoms of the UC, have persisted until the present time, most importantly, bleeding ulcers in my rectum up until the present time. I think it’s relevant to mention that my UC symptoms began while involved in a tumultuous relationship with a married man where I perceived myself as a victim, feeling powerless to change the conditions within the relationship as opposed to my lover who was at greater liberty, in that regard. I officially ended our relationship after 5 1/2 years but it sputtered on, over the years, all tolled, 13 years.
It occurred to me that, oddly, whenever I emptied my ostomy pouch, my ex would come to mind. (Ha ha, I get it.) This hasn’t been the case for about the last five years, at least. Given this unexpected association and the fact that my UC symptoms started during our relationship, I assumed a relative connection. I feel as though I’m a very different person than I was prior to this illness/surgery. I lack the energy, gumption and zest for life that I has always identified with. I miss the me from before.
I appreciate, very much, your suggested vast list of affirmations to improve the beliefs about yourself and am now listing ten of them, daily. I have wanted to release whatever resistance has been manifesting the “UC symptoms”, all along, particularly the rectal bleeding, and feel that if I knew what specific resistance these symptoms are associated with, it would be of great benefit. You have advised in a recent Q&A that an ailment with feet suggests a desire to run away, but feeling you can’t. Would you please shed a similar specific light on my long-standing physical dis-ease. Thank you very much!
All dis-ease stems from resistance. Resistance is not ease. It is the opposite of ease. It is dis-ease. Resistance is the other end of the spectrum from ease. What is ease? It is the knowing that everything is happening as it should for your highest good. Nothing is wrong. There is no wrong.
This concept may seem like a wild idea from where you are coming from. Remember, nothing was wrong when it happened to you in the past and nothing is wrong now. Everything is happening for you. Everything is right. You just can’t see it from your limited perspective. You must find a higher perspective.
When your lover did not do the things you wanted him to do, that was not wrong. When he didn’t leave his wife to be with you, that was not wrong. You just thought it was wrong because you believed at the time that you knew what you wanted. When things did not go the way you thought they should go, you got angry. This anger was your first manifestation of how you were thinking which was not aligned with your inner being. This unresolved anger caused great stress and inner conflict. You were struggling against the conditions, you were holding it in, and eventually something had to give to get your attention. Now that you see the higher perspective, you can begin to resolve your issues.
All unwanted physical conditions are the result of resistance to what is. This resistance causes inner conflict and stress on the body. The inner conflict is the negative emotion which is created because you are choosing to see the situation as wrong, which is in conflict with how your inner self sees it and how it actually is. Your inner self knows that the situation is right because it is. When you have inner conflict you cause stress on the body. The stress is created through the disconnection from the eternal flow of wellbeing. Your body wants to communicate to you in some way so that you may be aware of what you are doing. Unfortunately, your doctor treats your symptoms, not the cause.
Treating the symptoms, especially in the beginning, is like removing the letter before it’s opened. It’s like sending away the message because you don’t like the look of the messenger. It’s just a message, that’s all. The message is, “Take it easy, nothing is going wrong. It’s all part of the plan. Everything is working out, you’re just looking at it from the limited perspective.”
The message got louder and louder until you took notice, which you have done. But now you call the message wrong and you have resistance to what has transpired within your body. Realize that if this had not happened, you would not be talking to us now. That means, by some means, you have raised your vibration enough to reach us. That is a remarkable thing indeed.
So how do you treat your current physical condition? With hate or with love? How do you move forward from here? In fear or in confidence? You can either allow yourself to remain a victim and to resent everyone in the past for what they did to you, which includes yourself, or you can forgive everything that you thought was wrong and allow yourself to love yourself again. It is all up to you.
Your habit is one of resistance. You must start a new habit of love and ease. Your old approach was one of struggle caused by a limited perspective. You must now adopt a new approach to life. Every single thing that happens must be viewed from a higher perspective, which allows you to see that it is a good thing, not a bad thing. You must focus your attention in a way that serves you. You must create a new perception of reality. You must radically change your approach to life. You must realize that you are not a victim of fate, that nothing bad has happened, that this has been and is an expansive experience, that you are far ahead of where you were, and that now you can be an inspiration to so many others. You change your approach and see where that leads you. Or, do nothing differently and see where that road leads. It’s your choice. It’s all up to you. Make the choice and then follow inspiration that arrives as a result of your decision.
You are far more than you think you are.