Hi Joshua ,

Recently, I’ve been having very similar experiences in different parts of my life that give me the same feelings. I get the feeling I’m being left out and somewhat unwanted. It happens many in different ways, but here are a couple: I am standing in a circle with my friends and they either cut me out of the circle somehow or they walk away, making me follow them. I don’t like to be a follower, I want to be the one that they are following.

So in order to counteract this uncomfortable feeling, I decide not to follow them and just stay where I am, amuse myself with other things, and try to be at ease with being alone. This doesn’t work though, I still want to be included in the friend circle. Clearly this is something that needs to be addressed because it has happened with each one of my friend groups. I would greatly appreciate it if you could shed some light on my situation and give me some advice on what to do about it.

Thanks you

Dear Sienna,

What you experience in physical reality, through your five physical senses, is just a reflection of how you are predominantly feeling. That’s all that is happening and that’s all that can happen. It is nice to receive this feedback from your environment. When you notice things like this, you can analyze the situation and come to one of two conclusions: you can want the others or the conditions to be different than they are, or you can want to use what you’ve notice to deliberately create the future you desire.

When your friends cut you out or leave you standing there and you notice that and you have an unpleasant feeling, this is your indicator that you are not seeing the situation as your inner self is seeing it. There is something going on in your vibration and the actions of your friends are simply allowing you to see the physical manifestation of feelings you have been feeling. This is a good thing.

Now you can either think thoughts of what is wanted and try to feel better on your own and then see what happens next. Does any of this make sense to you? Let us explain this further.

You have been feeling like you’re not as much a part of the group as you would like. These feelings occur within you based on certain limiting beliefs you hold. You want to be more involved in the group, even the leader of the group, yet you still feel like you’re not the main focus. Your desire causes you to feel the lack of what you want and so this plays out in your reality as you perceive that your friends are cutting you out and walking away.

This is just your perception of reality, it’s not really happening. Your friends have not gotten together and orchestrated a way to leave you standing there. They have not decided to cut you our of the circle. It just seems like that is what’s happening from your perspective. It is an illusion and it’s designed to move you from where you are to where you want to be. It is a simple law of the universe and while it may feel uncomfortable now, it is working to bring you what you want.

If you felt like the leader of the group, you would be the leader and the illusion of reality would make you feel like the leader. Your friends would circle around you and would follow you. You would attract other friends and they would follow you as well. If this is something that you really wanted, and you were able to feel your way to it without noticing or feeling bad in those times when they weren’t following you, you would see more examples of you being the center of the group and you would feel positive emotion.

This is how you get anything you want and it’s also the reason you feel negative emotion. This is how your inner self guides you to what you want and it’s how the universe molds you into the version of you that will recognize the manifestation of your desire. So there are two parts to the manifestation of any desire. First, you experience something unwanted and you recognize what is preferred out of that. The second part is that your inner self guides you though emotion and the universe molds you through experience in the version of you that is ready to receive all that you want.

Maybe you feel left out of the group and so you desire to be included. The feeling of being left out is unpleasant and the feeling of being included is nice.

The design of this physical reality is for you to move away from unpleasant feelings towards pleasant feelings. If you are hungry, you are designed to dislike the unpleasant feeling of hunger and find something to eat which will cause you to feel better. If you are thirsty, you notice this unpleasant feeling and you find something to quench your thirst which instantly makes you feel better. If you feel bad because your friends ignore you, you are designed to feel better. So what do you do? You think a thought and that thought should make you feel better.

You can think that your friends should be different than they are being and you can fight against what is. You might have thoughts such as “I’ll find some better friends,” or “I’ll get Allison to leave the group and we’ll start a new group,” or “I don’t need any friends, I’m fine by myself.” These thoughts might cause you to feel a bit better, but they actually reinforce the feelings of being left out. They might, however, cause a new desire to spring forth and you might adjust your beliefs in the process.

Another, more effective way might be to look at the situation from the higher perspective. Imagine if you knew that the physical representation caused you to feel a certain way and that the only way this could happen was because you were already feeling that way. From this stance you could choose your next thought for the sole purpose of feeling better and finding relief. Your thoughts from this higher perspective might be “This is just reality reflecting my feelings. I understand what is happening. This is clarifying. I now know what I want even more so than before. All I need to do is realize that I am the center of attention, this is my reality and I create everything that is happening. It’s not their fault, it’s just my perception of the situation. They don’t need to change to make me feel better, I’m in the process of changing so that I can get what I want. From now on, I’ll just consider myself an integral part of the group and act as if that was true. Then I will see the evidence of these new feelings and I’ll be able to gauge just how well I’m doing. If I notice that I’m being left out, I’ll know that my focus is not as sharp as I’d like and I’ll start practicing the feeling of being included.”

One of the best ways to get what you want is to act as if you already have it. What would you do, say, or be like if you were the center of the group? How does that person act? What kinds of things are of interest to someone who is the leader of the group? It’s interesting to look at who you’re being now and compare yourself to who you would be if you were the leader of your group of friends. There is probably a big difference between the two versions of you. Be more like the person you want to be and you’ll quickly become that version of you.

However, fear and doubt will always hold you back. You might think, “If I am the leader of the group, then I’m the one arranging things. What if I get rejected? What if they think I’m being bossy? What if they like me less than they do now? Fear and doubt will keep you apart from anything you want if you allow it to consume your thoughts. You must move through the fear with confidence and faith. Don’t worry about irrational fear. Nothing bad can happen. Everything is moving you forward so that you can expand through experience. You are always growing and evolving and you will be constantly facing fear and either succumbing to it or moving through it.

Remember that this life is designed for your joyful expansion. Everything you think is important to you was designed to bring you to a new, higher version of you. The more you move through fear to what you want, the more you expand. It’s never-ending. The faster you move forward, the more contrast you’ll experience, the more desires you’ll create, and the more you’ll have to move through fear and doubt. That’s just what this reality is. You are worthy of anything you desire. You are truly and absolutely unique. You are the center of the universe and everyone does revolve around you. If you don’t see that right now it’s because the illusion of reality is quite magnificent.

You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could believe.