Hi Joshua and Gary,
My son is ever so slightly different to other 11 year olds and has few friends because of it. He has a hearing and processing disability which means he can’t interact easily with others. I am not sure what to do to make his life easier.
Thanks for helping!
We would like to change your perspective on this just a bit. Remember that your son chose you as his mother and the time and place of his birth. He did this for a reason. Prior to his birth he set certain intentions for what he wanted to explore this time around. Most of his intentions were general in nature such as the intention to have fun, be loved, love others, and expand through experiences of contrast. One or more of his intentions were specific. In order to fully explore some aspect of physical reality, your son understood that he would need to be launched on a trajectory that would send him in the direction of that which he came here to explore.
Part of this trajectory was this condition you call a disability. There is nothing wrong with the condition your son chose. Had he not developed this condition, he would be living a different life altogether. It would be one that would not lead him to what he intended to explore. He would miss out on the adventure he came here for. So then, this condition is here to serve him and you as well.
Had you not been who you are with your insights, intelligence and beneficial beliefs, your son would not have chosen you to be his mother. You are here to support his exploration. We understand that you want to feather his nest and make his life easier, but that is not what he wants from you. He wants your complete love and total acceptance of who he is. This condition is shaping him so that he will be ready for what comes next. If you soften the edges, you will inadvertently make it harder when the time comes.
Due to this condition, your son will develop in a new way compared to other children. He will learn all of the many facets of friendship and love from a unique perspective. He will learn new ways of communicating and dealing with others. As long as he does not see his condition as a disability, but rather a superpower, he will adapt in ways that you cannot see now. This alternate way of focusing his powers has the potential to create extraordinary possibilities. If he is working on the positive side, great things will arise from this condition. However, if he is focused on the perceived negative aspects of his condition, he will resent it and allow it to limit his experience of life.
It is difficult to see the benefit in conditions such as these, especially when they develop within your own son. But trust that he knows what he is doing. He chose this condition, and he chose you. Others will label the condition as wrong, yet you must understand that they know no other way. They only can see how they would feel with this condition, but they can’t know what it is like for your son. They can’t know the benefit it will give him in his advanced exploration of physical reality. They feel better with easy conditions and cannot see the intricacies in this advanced exploration of reality.
While this condition appears to be happening to your son, you must realize that it is happening to you as well. Just as it is a gift to your son, one which he has asked for, you must also know that it is a gift for you as well. You might at times wish for things to be normal and easier, but you too will derive something special from this condition which has manifested in your life. You will develop a stronger bond with your son because of this. You will start to realize and appreciate how special you both are. You will learn to remove yourself from the opinion of others. You will learn to remove your own judgment from the life of your son. Because of this condition, you will come to understand more about the laws of the universe and the mechanism of physical reality. There are many, many benefits that will reveal themselves as time passes.
For now, just accept the condition as perfect. If you can do that, then it will be perfect. Your son has come to explore reality in a new and unique way. Help him by teaching him that he is perfect the way he is. Show him the positive aspects of this condition, how he is unique, and that he is worthy of everything he really wants. Help him discover new interests and allow him to explore or abandon those interests as he sees fit. He will at times struggle and these will be clarifying moments. You do not need to soften the blows because he will be positively shaped by them.
You are doing extremely well and you are loved more than you could ever imagine,