Hi Joshua ,
My question is one of the concept of Family Responsibility. My father has varying degrees of narcissistic tendencies and as a result was a self-involved, cold and often cruel parent who was mostly absent and not pleasant to be around when he was present. As a result I don’t have any emotional relationship with him and I’m quite happy with that. I did unwillingly interact with him when I visited my mother – whom I did have a relationship with – but since she died 3 years ago I’ve had little desire to have anything to do with him. He is living comfortably in a retirement village and wants for nothing. He has friends as well as a lady-friend and is generally busy.
His health is now deteriorating and the village where he lives caters for that entirely with daily full-time care if/when necessary as well as a medical facility. I still prefer to have little to do with him but my dilemma is that of what my responsibility towards him is spiritually as his health gets worse. I don’t like him, that is my truth. I feel a physical repulsion towards him when I am in his company. He, on the other hand, feels a sense of entitlement as my father and even believes completely that he was the “Perfect Father”. I completely accept that he’s entitled to feel and believe whatever he wants and have no desire to dispute this with him on any level. I simply want him to leave me alone. Please can you shed some light on this for me?
Thanks and Regards
You have no obligation to interact with anyone you do not want to interact with. This is absolute. You are here to do what interests you and while you are eternally tied to everyone you know, the version of them who appears in this physical reality is not like the version of them who you will reunite with in the nonphysical realm. When your father transitions to the nonphysical, he will shed all aspects of his personality that are not a part of who he really is. He will return to being a being of love and he will appreciate that you did not cause yourself to suffer any longer in his presence. By leaving your father alone, you will be giving him a great gift.
Your father played a very important role in your life in that he enabled you to move along a certain trajectory. Because of how you felt about him in the past and how you feel about him now, you have created a set of very specific desires. You understand clearly what you do not want and so this sets you off in a trajectory toward what is wanted. When you allow yourself to receive what you have asked for, you can thank your father.
Spiritually your father’s work with you is done. Once you realize his role in your life, you can see him in a new light. He did not consciously know what he was doing, but he has a feeling that his behavior was part of a greater plan and this might be why he feels like a good father. In any case, you can secretly thank him for setting you off on the course you inevitably chose. Now that you can understand this, you need not blame your father or want him to change anything.
Your parents and family were specifically chosen by you before you were born. You intended many things prior to your birth and you made arrangements to be born into your family so that you could start in the direction of the experience you wanted. This is an experiential reality and you expand through experience. Had you been born to different parents you would have had a different experience than the one (or ones) you intended prior to your birth. By wishing that anyone of them were different than they were, you are fighting against your own intentions.
Now, you can realize that all of this has worked out perfectly to bring you where you are. You are embarking on a new level of consciousness and awareness. Very few have begun this journey and you are being given a glimpse of the reality behind physical reality. If your father was different than he was, you would not be speaking to us now. So thank your father for that. It might appear that he wasn’t behaving in a way that supported what you wanted, but that is just the illusion of physical reality. No one has helped you more along your path to this new level of consciousness than your father.
You are loved more than you can imagine.