Dear Joshua,

A little family history is my only brother (older) has been on a different path for a long time. Twice in prison, both for robbing banks. Been diagnosed as bipolar but only after doing meth and other drugs for a time. Parents tried to help him, but he seems to blame them for his path. This has been going on for over 20 years. Just recently he checked himself into a hospital and then had a major stroke. My issue with it all is now my mother feels obligated to again visit and help him everyday. I realize that it isn’t really any of my business. I know I should feel love for my brother. I don’t feel any pity for him as he is the one that chose this path. I do feel anger though that he has brought his victim self back into the family. Before this he was not in touch with anyone (living the homeless life) which included his parole officer. That was actually a lot easier at least on me. I’m sure it wasn’t for my mother. So I do realize that this path is something he and my mother need. I need to take myself out of it. I live far enough away I really don’t have to deal with it except for my phone calls with my mother on his progress. Any help would be appreciated.


Dear Cherie,

We have several things to say to you here and we want to start by saying that you receive a match to that which you are emitting through your vibration. It is always a perfect match. So when you see your mother seemingly entangled in the life of your brother, you must understand that they are a vibrational match to each other and for them it is working out as they have intended. Each is receiving something from the other even if it looks as if it is something other than what you would prefer.

To the extent you are involved in their relationship, you are a match to it as well. You do not need to be for it is mostly about them and you can withdraw yourself without feeling guilty. Everyone understands how you feel. You could choose not to discus the situation with your mother and instead focus on things you prefer. This is a perfectly logical course of action.

However, your life cannot be created by anyone other than yourself and from a stance of understanding and confidence, you can choose to see the situation from the higher perspective which will ease your feelings. You have the ability to feel good in despite your family history and the actions of your brother which to you seem wrong. Since there is no wrong anywhere in the universe, you must realize that what he has gone through in his life is right for him. He is on a journey and while part of that journey intersected with you, you need not maintain any bond out of a societal belief that you must love someone just because you happen to be related.

You are eternally linked to your brother and in the nonphysical realm you will be closer than you can ever imagine. When he decides to transition to the nonphysical, he will shed all of the aspects of his personality that are based in fear and he will return to being who he really is which is a being of pure love. You will not recognize him because he will be so different from who he has been in this lifetime. But he intended to explore much of this before coming into this physical body. He just got caught up in the unwanted more so than he had intended. He has expanded greatly as a result of his experiences and while he will concede that things didn’t go as expected, he grew much from the rich experience of this life.

Your mother will feel the same way. This was her journey as well and now that your brother has returned, she is getting what she really wants, which is to care for him. It may all seem wrong to you, but it is very right for them.

Whenever you observe anyone doing something you consider to be wrong and you feel negative emotion, this is your indication that you are looking at the subject from a very limited perspective. You can’t know what’s best for everyone involved. You can’t know their motivations or the momentum that led to the unfolding of this situation. You can’t know what they really want. And you certainly can’t know how it will all unfold. The universe is bringing everyone what they really want as long as they allow it. It’s quite possible that finally, after so many years of resistance, your mother and brother are building the relationship each of them wants. You do not need to feel bad for your mother or to try to help her. She does not want or need your help. She wants what she is getting and all she really wants from you is your acceptance of the situation. If you can do that, you’ll be giving her the gift she really needs.

You are loved more than you could imagine.