Dear Joshua ,
I have a belief that failing to “call” people on their bad behavior makes it easier for them to continue it. This seems like a bigger responsibility than just looking at it from how it affects me. Most people don’t have an enlightened guide to help them change their perspective. Do we not have an obligation (or at least the right) to protect our fellow beings from bullies and jerks?
Re-reading the above, I guess the highest path is to not see their behavior as bad in the first place. This is something I have often shared with others: that there are no bad things in the world; only things. Labeling them as bad is the first misstep.
But if I accept that nothing is ever wrong, is nothing also never inappropriate, or rude, or threatening, or dangerous? Where do we draw the line?
I know you believe that “bad” things won’t happen if we are resonating at our highest frequency, but I struggle with the idea that we are fully responsible for attracting everything that comes into our lives. I believe that like attracts like and that high-level thoughts will tend to create high-level outcomes. But does this 100% guarantee that people will treat you appropriately and respectfully? Isn’t it true that I have the ability to choose how I react to this behavior, but not in whether it happens in the first place?
Gandhi and the current Dalai Lama are two of the most enlightened people of the modern era, but even their high-level energy didn’t only attract wonderful outcomes. People even died because of their beliefs. Did they attract that because they weren’t enlightened enough? Or is it that the deaths of these people served a greater good? Either way, saying that their thoughts were responsible for this outcome seems like an unnecessary assessment.
You must first come to the realization that this universe you find yourself in, this reality, is centered around you. It is your reality and we mean that literally. Everything that happens in this reality only happens to you. All of your experiences are unique and personally yours. Therefore, the only thing that ever matters is how you feel.
You cannot control another. You can only control your deliberate and conscious focus of thought on what you want and what makes you feel good. You are not here to save others from themselves or their experiences. You are here specifically for your experience and your expansion through experience. All others are living in the center of their universes and their realities and are expanding in their own fashion.
It is hard for you to hear that you are not here to help anyone. Why not? Because when you see something lacking in another, you see what is not wanted. Your attention is focused on what you perceive as wrong and, through the Law of Attraction, you build momentum to more of that. Neither you nor they can be assisted by your or their attention to the problem. The solution is not in fixing their problem. The solution is found only in aligning with what is wanted.
By condemning the behavior of others, you simply add fuel to the fire. You make the thing you despise burn brighter and hotter and grow larger. By completely and totally accepting what is as perfect, you douse it with water. By allowing others to be as they are, completely and unconditionally, you allow them to come out of being who they are not and you lead them, by example, toward being the highest version of themselves. Their highest version may not be as high as your highest version, but that’s okay too.
The most important aspect of this question is for you to know that everything that comes to you matches you. If you receive a rude comment, you must not seek to change that other person, you must change you. We consider a rude comment to be a gift, for it has the power to awaken you to who you are being. If you’re being self-righteous and smug, you’ll receive comments that reflect that. However, the interesting thing is that it is only you who perceives the rude comment because you’re a match to it. If you were not a match to the rude comment, you would either not recognize it as being rude or you would miss it all together.
Have you ever been given a rude comment and you simply viewed it as a joke or someone just teasing you and having fun? It was your frame of mind and you’re emotional state of being that did not allow you to recognize it as a rude comment, rather it was simply a playful jab. The only difference was how you were being. You could never accept a rude comment from your son because you love him unconditionally. If he said anything to you, no matter how rude, you would find it sweet and endearing. You would simply laugh and you might even write down the comment to remember it fondly at a later date.
Therefore, it is you who is seeing the other person as wrong in these situations. If you loved them unconditionally, as you love your son, you would never consider any comment, action, or behavior as wrong.
Lighten up Francis.