The Truth About Comfort
You live in a physical environment with great variations in climate. You live in an economic environment which has enormous variations from rich to poor. You live in an emotional environment which fluctuates between joy and sorrow. As you navigate your environments, you seek comfort. Your life may even be dedicated to becoming more and more comfortable. But this is a trap. The comfort you seek may rob you of your purpose for being here.
Your world is more comfortable than your society has ever experienced in its history. You live in lavish homes filled with luxurious furniture and fabrics. Your technology has made life easier. You travel in comfort and safety. You have so many options for ease. Your entertainment allows for the numbing of your minds. You can easily avoid all sorts of discomfort as you navigate your daily lives.
If you do not believe that you live a very comfortable life, just imagine the lifestyle of the average person in your town just a hundred years earlier. It was quite different indeed. Imagine their living conditions compared to yours. Imagine their homes, furnishings, and appliances. Did they have a refrigerator? Did they enjoy air conditioning or central heating? Imagine how they traveled. Did they own a car? Could they fly around the world as you can today?
Your society is driven to create higher and higher levels of comfort and this is a good thing. However, as you seek external comfort, you begin to desire comfort inside as well. The physical experience was not designed for you to seek comfort; it was designed for you to experience life. Sometimes these experiences are uncomfortable, but often there is a great reward for enduring a little discomfort.
Physical experience is a feeling experience. The only thing you are ever really doing is feeling. How you feel on the inside is the only thing that has any relevance. You do things because they are fun, and fun feels good. You like to fall in love because love feels good. You like new clothes because they make you feel good. You like to win because winning feels good. Anything you want is wanted because you think it will feel good.
You will make choices based on how you think you will feel as a result of the choice. Sometimes you do things that you believe are wrong because they feel better than doing the right thing. If you have ever shoplifted anything from a store as a child, you did it because it was exciting and excitement feels good. The good feeling of excitement was worth the risk of getting caught, which would result in a bad feeling. So, sometimes you are willing to gamble that the result of your actions will feel good even though there is the risk of feeling bad.
As an adult you will be less likely to shoplift for the feeling. The gamble is just not worth the risk. The level of excitement is less than the pain of embarrassment you would feel if caught. The disgrace would be an awful feeling.
You have learned to calculate the odds of feeling good in everything you do. You may not realize it, but every decision you make is made in the hopes of feeling better. If you are conscious of this fact, if you can understand that the feeling of anything is its reward, then you can deliberately make decisions based on what you want rather than what you think you will feel.
Since comfort feels good, you tend towards any decision that makes you feel more comfortable. You choose furniture, cars, modes of travel, lodging, and many other things based on how comfortable you think they will make you. This is easy to observe with anything physical such as furniture or homes. But you do the same thing with experiences. You choose experiences based on how comfortable they are.
It’s one thing to choose your furniture based on comfort, but it’s another thing to base your experiences on comfort. There are certain things you are here to do. Sometimes, you must go outside your comfort zone to experience what is necessary for your expansion. If you hide out in your comfortable dwelling safe from uncomfortable experiences, you’ll miss the most important aspect of physical existence. You expand as a result of your experiences, and you’re here to expand.
You are familiar with the term “comfort zone.” You understand what it means to operate within that zone. But do you really understand what you’re feeling when you step outside that comfort zone? All you’re doing is facing emotions that you deem unpleasant. It is the fear of these emotions that keeps you trapped inside your comfort zone. But what is there really to fear?
Physical life creates desire. You go through life developing preferences. Your experiences lead you to know what is wanted. As soon as you birth a desire, that desire is given to you. This means you are on a path to that desire and as long as you go with the flow of life, you will be delivered to that which you desire. But for you to have anything, you must become a vibrational match to it. You have to be ready for it. If you do not have whatever you desire in your life right now, it’s only because you are not ready for it physically or vibrationally.
If you were a vibrational match to your desire, you would have that which you desired. Since you’re not a match to it, it is still a dream. The way to become a match to your desire and to have it manifest in your life is for you to change from who you are now to the version of you that matches it. The thing you want does not change to match you; you change to become a match to it. It’s a very simple system.
If you want something, anything, you must change to match it. Therefore, your feelings, beliefs, expectations, and thoughts will have to change. If the thing you want is big, you will have to radically change. If it’s small, then you will only have to change a little. Your perception of a big thing compared to a small thing is the indicator of how much change is needed. The trick is that there is nothing for you to do to make the change. The universe will change you.
You just have to be willing and allow the change to happen. In order to do this, you will have to go outside your comfort zone. You will have to risk feeling bad in order to one day feel very good. You will have to endure a little discomfort in order to experience that which you truly want. The result of this will be your expansion.
To get anything you want, you’ll have to change. In order to get something big, you must change into a higher version of you. You cannot change while living inside your comfort zone and you won’t do anything consistently if it’s uncomfortable. That’s why most people don’t change and why those people don’t get what they want. In order to change, you must expand your comfort zone first.
The first step in expanding your comfort zone is analyzing what you believe to be uncomfortable. Let’s talk about public speaking. This is a very common fear. Many people believe that public speaking is extremely uncomfortable. Why is this?
When you imagine someone on stage talking to a group, do you see any physical discomfort? Are they hotter or colder than the audience? Is it windier up there? No, the discomfort can only come from the inside. The only discomfort can be in the potential for embarrassment. But is embarrassment really something that can harm you? Or is the pain something you make up?
We understand the fear of public speaking, but we also see it as an irrational fear. It is irrational because you cannot die of embarrassment. Fear is meant to protect you from life-threatening situations. Fear of falling or being eaten is a rational fear. Fear of failure or embarrassment is not. So why are you entertaining these irrational fears? Why are you letting them hold you back?
Let’s say that you were given the assignment to sing in front of a large group of your peers. Some of them you knew and some you did not. There are no instruments provided, no band to back you up, no other singers, just you and your voice. Everyone in the audience has paid to come and hear you sing. They all dressed up and were told of your amazing talents. They fill the theater and chatter in anticipation of your performance. You enter the stage to a standing ovation. The crowd quiets to hear every note and you open your mouth to sing.
What do you think would be the actual ramifications of this? Would they laugh? Would they heckle and boo? What would you feel? Why do you think you would feel this way? Why do you care what they think? Have you ever thought about this? Have you ever really analyzed why something like this would be so painful? Do you realize that the only real pain, the only way you could ever feel bad, is by making yourself feel bad? It’s only ever you who punishes yourself on the inside.
Now let’s say that you were offered $1,000 for your performance. Would you do it? What if it was $10,000 or $100,000 or $1,000,000? Would you do it then? Choose a number and that’s yourcomfort zone. Reduce that number and you’ve just expanded your comfort zone. When you can come to perform a song in front of this group for just a dollar, you’ve expanded your comfort zone enough to manifest anything you desire.
The key to expanding your comfort zone is perspective. When you look at a fear and use a new perspective to understand that the fear is irrational, you can reduce the intensity of the fear and expand your comfort zone. It is all in your mind. Perspective helps you see what you’re doing to yourself. Change your perspective and you’ll see discomfort as much less intimidating.
With all our love,
Joshua is a group of nonphysical teachers channeled by Gary Temple Bodley. Their practical teachings provide a greater understanding of the mechanism of physical reality, the Law of Attraction, and how to leverage universal forces to enhance our lives. Joshua’s first book “A Perception of Reality” explains the nature of reality using plain english in an easy-to-understand format. This book is the next step for those awakened individuals seeking higher levels of consciousness and awareness.
If I keep vibrating a certain quality or feeling and it keeps appearing through mates that are like my father, same qualities etc.. Is it possible it is my father who keeps coming back through these mates? Can those who have croaked come back over and over again?
I understand you either attract people because you feel that way or you Definitely don’t want anyone like that in your world The later resonates with me.
You have asked a question that will help many, many people and we want to address the entirety of your question as well as the individual parts. First, you wonder if you are attracting people like your father because your father is coming back to this reality in another incarnation. While he may come back if he wishes to do so and he may even interact with you in some regard, he has not come back in that way and would not do so. This would be too confusing for you and he is aware of that.
We will start by saying that everyone you know or have known in this physical reality you also know in the nonphysical. You interact there and here. You make plans for there and here. You love and adore each other in the nonphysical and you come together in this reality to explore various aspects of your relationship just for the fun of doing so. At times you may not think it’s fun here, but you will definitely have a laugh about it from your nonphysical perspective.
You are not attracting your father as a mate but you see certain aspects of your father in the mates you choose. Let’s see if we can bring that into clarity for you. Imagine the personality of your father and how that personality carried forth into the nonphysical after his transition. In physical form he was love, appreciation, tender, hard working, supportive of his family, caring, and many other wonderful qualities and these are the aspects of his personality that he carried with him to the nonphysical. In his physical body he also carried some traits that were in the form of human baggage. He might have been insecure, fearful or worried. He might have been defensive or overly protective. He might have been angry or disappointed. These traits did not follow him into the nonphysical.
So when you are thinking that your mate has some qualities of your father are you thinking of the loving aspects or the fearful aspects? You get to choose. There is only one person in this world you need to love. It is not a mate or a parent, it is you. You must learn to love yourself and from that standpoint of self-love and selfappreciation, you will attract one who sees in you what you see in yourself. If you love yourself, you will attract someone who sees what you see. If you are insecure about your love for yourself, you will find someone who is insecure in your love for them. Until you change how you feel about yourself, you cannot attract anyone, friends or lovers, who see you for more than you see yourself. Love yourself first. Really own it and mean it. Do not love yourself in order to get someone who will also love you, love yourself regardless of what happens.
So how does one come to love themselves. It is simply a matter of realization that who you are is perfect in this moment. We see your perfection and you must come, over time, to see it as well. You are perfect whether you think you are or not. We use the term “perfect” rather than good or worthy because we want there to be no levels in this meaning. When we say worthy or good you can compare yourself to another and believe yourself to be more or less worthy or good than another. In this case you are perfect and there is no room for improvement. All others are perfect just where they are as well. There is nothing you can do to become better for you are perfect as you are.
You can’t be better and then start to love yourself. You can’t be more beautiful, successful, confident, smarter, more spiritually evolved and then love yourself. You must love yourself unconditionally now, as you are and the side effect will be those other things.
Don’t ever compare yourself to others, only compare you to you. Look at who you are now and see the progress from who you were. See your own evolution and see how< much you’ve grown. The you that you are now is ready for you to love yourself. Until you do, no relationship can manifest in the way you want it to.
Are you starting to understand how this all works? Can you see that the mates you attracted were not like your father; they were like you. They loved you in the exact way you loved yourself. They treated you how you treated yourself. They will always think of you in the exact way you think of yourself. They will always, always be a reflection of who you are being.
Your true desire is to be who you really are. Once you do that, you will attract a mate who sees the best in you. They will love you unconditionally because you love yourself unconditionally. It will not be possible for them to love you in any other way. However, if you continue to love yourself conditionally, it will not be possible for a new mate to love you any other way. Your mates will always be a mirror to who you are being. This is the law of the universe and it cannot be any other way.
Fortunately for you, you understand the mechanism of physical reality better than almost anyone you know. You understand more about this stuff than 99% of humanity. You have the tools and the desire to create your own reality. But it’s an inside job. Meditate, appreciate, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. Don’t dream about the mate, don’t hold on to a picture of what a happy relationship looks like. Forget all that stuff. Work on how you feel about yourself and everything will come from there.
It is simple to imagine and become who you really are. You accomplish it in stages.
Stage One: Understand that who you really are is who you would be in the nonphysical. Just as the personality of your father left behind the fearful aspects of his nature when he transitioned to the nonphysical, you must look at those aspects of your personality that you will leave behind when you make your transition. Any though or behavior that stems from love will be carried forth to the nonphysical and any thought or behavior that stems from fear will be left behind.
Stage Two: Act like the highest version of yourself now. Do not fear, only love. Do not protect yourself for that is a stance of fear. You cannot be harmed by words so stop living life by any other standards than your own.
Stage Three: Go inside. Spend time meditating. Communicate with your inner self. Speak to your guides. Imagine yourself as perfect, strong and courageous.
Step Four: Look for signs of growth and development. When something happens that you don’t like, look at it and see the message, the lesson, the new understanding that comes from it and appreciate it. We’re talking about all events, large and small. If someone honks their horn at you or gives you a rude comment, don’t react in the old ways. Look for the message!
Step Five: Focus on the aspects of your life that are going well.
Step Six: Compare the now you to the old you and see how far you’ve come. Never compare yourself, or your situation to another; compare you to you.
Step Seven: Believe, believe, believe. Believe that all things are coming to you because they are meant to come in order for you to expand. Believe that everything that comes to you is right and is part of the journey and the process. Believe in the power of your mind and your abilities. You are more powerful than you know. You are doing better than you think. Come to terms with the you that is and love every aspect that is you now in this moment and in the next and the next.
You are loved more than you can imagine. You are never alone. We see your amazing perfection. It’s time for you to see what we see.