Dear Joshua,

I would allow you to post my full name but I suffer from social anxiety, or more particularly Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have included the DSM description here for your information. You can include it in my question if you wish, or leave it out on the website. I can get out and talk to people when I have to, but I am constantly focused of what the other person is thinking of me. Probably the hardest thing is being put in a situation where I don’t know what is going on and have to learn something. I have a mini panic attack and blank out…appearing to be dumb…because I am so worried as being perceived as dumb by whoever is training me. So I tend to avoid things or new situations that make me look weak or foolish.

I am also afraid of being exposed as a “fraud”. Therefore I am less likely to go for job promotions. And my romantic life is zero for obvious reasons. I tend to stay in my comfort zone, always playing it safe. I am just looking for practical, Law of Attraction based steps to start overcoming Social Anxiety and Avoidance Personality Disorder. I believe your answer would be of great help to others who stumble upon this site, who are suffering from similar issues.

American Psychiatric Association The DSM-5 also has an Avoidant Personality Disorder diagnosis. It refers to a widespread pattern of inhibition around people, feeling inadequate and being very sensitive to negative evaluation. Symptoms begin by early adulthood and occur in a range of situations. Four of seven specific symptoms should be present, which are: Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others. Is unusually reluctant to take personal risk or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing. All of those listed pertain to me. 7-7 lol

Thanks and Regards

Dear Matt,

What have you described is present in 100% of the humans living on Earth at this moment in time. The only difference between what you are feeling and what they are feeling is the degree of intensity. There is no person alive who is not concerned to some degree about what others may be thinking about them. If you could live in the body of anyone you consider immune to this, you would quickly see that you are not so different after all. We come to share our perspective with you. We can see inside the thoughts of you and everyone else. We can feel what you are feeling and what everyone else is feeling as well. Your anxiety is so common you would be quite shocked. The only thing you need to change is your perception of reality.

You believe that in this regard you are different than everyone else. You believe that others are naturally more secure, outgoing and confident. You are allowing a diagnosis to support your limiting beliefs about yourself. This is quite alright and many people live happy, contented lives within the comfort of their limiting beliefs. But if you really want more out of life, if you really want to become more confident, secure and involved with others, then you must change your perspective on your condition. You must reduce the intensity of your limiting beliefs (which are based in irrational fear) and adopt more beneficial beliefs.

If you really want to shed your insecurities, you must radically change your entire approach to life.

Everyone has certain beliefs which are limiting. The beliefs limit their experience of life to some degree. All limiting beliefs are based in fear. All beneficial beliefs are based in love. To radically change your life, you must reduce the intensity of any limiting beliefs you hold dear and increase the intensity of beliefs which support what you really want and who you really are. Limiting beliefs are not necessarily bad. You believe you cannot fly and this is limiting, but it keeps you from jumping off of cliffs. So then limiting beliefs that are based in rational fears can be quite beneficial. However, when the limiting belief is based in an irrational fear, the belief itself is a false belief. Let us explain this further.

There are two types of fear; rational and irrational. It is rational to be fearful of lions because you might get eaten. Your survival instinct uses rational fear to keep you alive and we agree that this is a good thing. Irrational fears do nothing to keep you alive. The fear of speaking in public or asking someone for a date are both irrational fears. You cannot die as a result of either activity. If you have a limiting belief based in an irrational fear, you can be assured that the belief is false. It is not true. If it isn’t true, then you can release it. All limiting beliefs based in irrational fears are false. When you can show evidence the belief is false, you will automatically reduce the intensity of the limiting belief.

This is a vibrational reality organized by the Law of Attraction. You receive a match to your vibration. Your vibrational frequency is set to a large degree by the complex mix of beliefs you hold. Your reality is created by your thoughts, and beliefs are very strong thought forms. When you alter a belief, your reality shifts. As you reduce the intensity of limiting beliefs, while increasing the intensity of beneficial beliefs, your vibration raises and your reality moves to a new place. If you want to improve the conditions of your life, do not damn the conditions, simply alter your beliefs.

The basis of any reality where you are insecure is tied to a belief that you, personally, are not worthy. This is a false belief. Every single person is equally and absolutely worthy. We will demonstrate the truth of this by explaining the concept of physical reality. The purpose of physical reality is to expand consciousness. Without physical reality there is no physical experience. From the nonphysical realm you live in utter bliss, abundance, confidence and love. Yet, because you have never experienced anything else, you cannot know what these feelings are. Until you experience lack, you cannot know abundance. Until you experience fear, you cannot know love. So physical reality was created and experience is the purpose of this environment. You chose to come here to expand through experience.

You might now wonder if you chose to experience severe social anxiety. You did. However, you also came to experience the thrill of overcoming fear. You also came to experience joy within the physical environment. You also came to experience creation. You also came to experience growth. You may have chosen a trajectory that may have created feelings of inadequacy, yet you knew that you would climb out of it. This is the experience you came for. This is the thrill you seek.

Each and every person comes to experience a unique aspect of physical reality. You are all explorers and have all explored many lifetimes in this reality. If you are exploring a very specific experience within this environment, you are a master explorer. This means you also have the tools and experience to move through any condition. If you did not have the desire to move to something new and better, you would not be exploring this specific subject. You can and will move out of this condition as soon as you realize that your perspective is deceiving you. You feel strongly that you have this condition and that feeling is an illusion. Choose a new, more beneficial, more expansive perspective and choose to see you as more than you currently know.

You are a worthy being. You are as worthy as any who have ever or will ever live on this planet. This is true of everyone. Everyone is equally and absolutely worthy. Your existence is proof of your worthiness. You are unique. No one like you has ever existed or will ever exist on Earth. No one has ever or will ever explore reality the way you are exploring it. The fact that you are truly and utterly unique is your absolute proof that you are worthy.

You cannot read minds. It is not possible to know what anyone else thinks. You do not know what they are thinking of you. You are making it up because you cannot know. You are choosing to believe that they are critical of you. This is your choice and it is just as valid as any other choice you choose to make. But just know that it is a lie. It is not true. People are far more concerned about what you think of them than what they may or may not be thinking of you. Since you cannot know what others think, since you are making it up anyway, why not believe that they like you? Why not believe that they think you’re a good person? Why not make up something that aligns with what you want and who you really are. You are a being based in love. Fear is not natural. Fear does not feel good. Start loving others regardless of what they are thinking.

You have a belief that others can create in your reality. You believe that others have control over you. They do not. This belief is false. You create your own reality and while you might choose to let them influence you away from who you really are and what you really want, that is simply your choice. You are the ultimate creator of your reality and in this environment, you have the ability right now to choose what is wanted over what is unwanted.

Ultimately you will have to take responsibility for your condition. You will have to realize that somewhere down the line you chose this for yourself. At that time it may have comforted you in some way. You might have been experiencing emotions that were painful and so you adopted some limiting beliefs you thought would keep you safe. But you are now emerging from that.

Your desire to change is proof of this. But you cannot change by believing you are a victim of circumstances that led to the creation of this “disorder.” You have the ability to change, to make new choices, to see things from a higher perspective, to analyze your fear-based limiting beliefs and to adopt beneficial beliefs that support the new you. We are not saying it will be easy, we are simply saying the choice is yours to make. You get to control the ship, but you also have responsibility for where the ship goes.

You are loved more than you could imagine by more than you could ever count.