I need help in applying your teachings to what I currently do for a living. I am a lawyer. A large part of my job involves fighting, in one way or another, for clients. While, to the extent possible, I try to resolve conflicts by figuring out “win-win” solutions that might meet the needs of all involve, most matters do not lend themselves that easily to “enlarging the pie.” Often, I have to fight, either in Court or in negotiations with attorneys for other parties, to try to obtain what the client is seeking to gain.
There is no such thing, in my field, of simply saying “I’m sorry” to the other side and giving in in order to avoid conflict or putting up resistance. I am paid, specifically, to fight to get the client what he or she wants, or as close to it as I can get, within the constraints of the law and professional ethical requirements.
In addition, there are times that clients become unreasonable and demand things that are simply not attainable. One recent example of this was when a client demanded that I go into court to, in effect, call a judge corrupt and incompetent and the judge’s appointee as his mother’s guardian was the cause of his mother’s death.
This is not something that I can or will do, as it would be futile, unfair to the judge and his appointee, impermissible as a legal matter, and career suicide. As a result, I have had substantial conflict with this particular client.
Another recent example was when I had to resist my client’s demand that, aside from writing in a legal brief how the other side “lied” about certain issues that were irrelevant (and that my client couldn’t prove even if relevant), that the other side’s lawyer was dishonest and should be punished, when in fact the lawyer had done nothing wrong. In other words, I have had to argue and fight with not only opposing counsel, but at times my own clients.
Needless to say, these situations add to the stress of my profession.
How can I apply your principles of nonresistance when finding the positive in any situation when my first obligation as an attorney is to “zealously represent” my client and fight for what they want? I am curious about your take on this.
Thank you again,
You are not fighting, you are playing a game. It’s just that this game seems very real to you. You are attached to the outcomes both for your client and yourself. Release your attachments and simply enjoy playing the game.
Everything is a game. You could be a boxer in a ring actually fighting your opponent physically, yet it is still a game. You are a boxer because you enjoy the game, and all that goes with it. You are a lawyer because you enjoy the game and all that goes with it. Your only struggle is your resistance to the actions and words of clients who you think are unreasonable. If you believed their words were reasonable, you would fully support them. So make a decision.
You will defend a client who has a reasonable issue. You will play the game to the best of your ability and when you win, you will feel satisfaction. However, when the outcome is something less than you had hoped for, you can realize that you did your best, you played your part, and the universe sorted it all out. That’s all you can really hope for.
If your client, who is far more attached to the outcome than you are, complains or is inspired to speak out based on his low-emotional state of being, and you find offense with his words, then you are simply not looking at the situation from his perspective. You are calling him wrong, you are defending yourself when he calls you wrong, and this creates inner conflict and stress on the body. We ask you to release the stress by ending the conflict. Simply say “You’re right. I apologize. I understand your perspective, but there’s nothing more I can do.” That’s all you need to say. This diffuses the situation. You are not making him wrong, you are simply easing the conflict. You are not accepting blame, you are simply empathizing with his perspective. That’s all he wants. When you show your power by not fearing an attack on your very fragile and completely false persona, you elevate the vibration surrounding the situation and everyone will feel it. They will all feel so much better and from that state of being they will receive more empowering thoughts and ideas.
People believe there is wrong in this world, but there is not. They will hold onto the perspective that they are the victim of fate, but they are not. They do not understand that they create their own reality, yet they do. As someone who can understand the mechanism of physical reality, you can untangle yourself from their lower perspectives.
With our love,
We are Joshua