Severe Insomnia: I have written pages and pages & bloody pages already on this issue. I have always been a poor sleeper since childhood but over the past 7 months (all this year) I have never yet had one full night’s sleep and average 90min – 2hrs a day. I often go 3 days without any sleep and as many as 5.
I am completely perplexed as to what is going on. I am trying to process limiting beliefs and negative emotions: I should sleep, I am not relaxing, I am worrying, but I can’t seem to gain any more insight other than:
Fear as a child of sleeping due to nightmares.
Again I am at a loss as to what is going on other than I’m agitated about my life. I m frightened to stay still and I should be moving.
I have since started trying to accept and embrace the insomnia, but as I’m completing my Bootcamp homework, I am finding I get to a certain point of examining the situation, but I don’t know what to do about it or where all this stems from so I can address it.
Can you offer me a little more insight as to what my limiting beliefs are, why this is happening and where it stems from?
Thanks, with love
All unwanted physical manifestation come from resistance. The actual manifestation of any condition that you feel is negative or unwanted contains information. It is a clue to the limiting beliefs, not that really cause the unwanted manifestation, but cause you to perceive it as unwanted. Without the limiting belief there would be no resistance to the event or condition. Therefore, you would not perceive it to be wrong.
What if most humans slept 1-2 hours per day? What if it was considered lazy to sleep more than a couple of hours per day? We are not suggesting that there is inherently anything right or wrong with the amount of sleep one might receive, it’s simply another perspective. If you perceived it was normal to sleep a couple of hours each day, would you offer the same resistance? We think not.
Whatever condition presents itself will fall under a judgment of good or bad, right or wrong from you, the individual. This is life in duality. Where does this judgment come from? It originates from your set of beliefs. If you try to alter the conditions outside of you, you will find frustration, struggle and effort. You are not here to change conditions, for the conditions are always a result of your vibration. You are simply to sift and sort your way through life and create preferences. If you prefer the conditions to be different than what you are experiencing, you must change your vibration. If you offer the same vibration and try to change the conditions, you may certainly change the conditions temporarily, but they will return for there is something for you to learn.
In fear, you create fear. Fear is nothing more than the illusion of wrong. You are experiencing a difference of opinion between your view of your life and your inner self’s view of your life. You perceive this condition as wrong, yet your inner self perceives it as right. Why is that? What is the disconnect? It has to do with a set of limiting beliefs, which cause you to perceive the illusion of wrong. In this case, it is the limiting belief that you are not normal, not good, not worthy and not right. There is something wrong with you. This is your belief. In order for your belief to be true, you must create conditions that prove there is something wrong with you.
From your limited perspective, you believe that because you are not right as you are, are not perfect as you are, are not whole as you are, and are not worthy as you exist in this current moment, then there is something wrong with you. If there was nothing obviously wrong with you, then you could not believe you are not worthy and good as you are. In order for your idea of self to be true, you must conjure up some malady. You have several conditions that confirm that you are not good and right and whole. These conditions prove to you that you are broken. You talk about these conditions to others to prove to them that the reason you are not whole is simply due to all of these unwanted conditions. If the conditions did not exist, then you would have no proof (or excuses) to provide to yourself and others for the reason you feel the way you do. Your feeling of unworthiness and not being good enough create the conditions, not the other way around.
You are not suffering. In fact, you are receiving everything you need to go on demonstrating how broken you are. Yet these conditions are not enough. You are still here in physical reality. You are still alive. You can still speak to people and interact. Your excuses are not enough for you. You will soon create more evidence that you are unworthy in even more magnificent ways. Unless you adjust your opinion of yourself, you will face even more intensely unwanted conditions. This is the experience of one who refuses to understand their own magnificence.
Imagine us telling you that you are a limitless and magnificent being of pure positive love and acceptance. How can you accept this description of yourself since all you have ever known is unworthiness? We will tell you that you are a spectacular and advanced explorer of physical reality. You came in setting the intentions for a very intense experience of unworthiness. And here you are living with the illusion of unworthiness and adopting some very powerful limiting beliefs about yourself, other people, and the world in which you live. But this path has led you to where you are now. You somehow found our way to these teachings and into our bootcamp. You somehow allowed enough of your true desires to create a path to our door. You pushed past your fears and stepped through the threshold. You are here now.
Certainly, there is a trajectory to your life. Momentum has built up over time. However, with daily spiritual practice, a new and higher perspective on all things, and a new understanding of who you truly are, you can process those limiting beliefs layer by layer. And when you do, you will feel the exhilaration that comes with the creation of a new vibration and a new reality.
Limiting beliefs grow stronger with time due to the power of momentum. You must either radically reduce the intensity of these beliefs, or your life will be consumed by fear. What do you have to lose? All you have to lose is the attachments to limitations which you have been using to explain your self-perceived inadequacies. Those inadequacies are illusions and never really existed. If you can drop your evidence, stop talking about your problems and see your issues as opportunities for growth, you will raise your vibration and create a new reality. If you maintain your attachment and keep talking about anything unwanted, you will continue to live in fear.
There is no wrong in any of it. An exploration of fear is just as valid as an exploration of love. However, you are a magnificent worthy being who set powerful intentions prior to your birth. These intentions are trying to come forth. Since you are a great and powerful creator, your resistance comes in intense levels of inner conflict. You must either go with the flow of the current you established prior to your birth or give up altogether. If you go with the flow, you will have to accept the absolute perfection in All That Is, yourself, all others and the world in which you live. You will have to give up the illusion of bad and wrong. You will have to give up your fight and struggle. You will have to absolutely accept yourself as good and worthy and valid and the essence of love.
That is who you really are. Any evidence contrary to this is an illusion.
With our love,
We are Joshua