Dear Joshua,

I recently left an abusive relationship and have since realized that my narcissistic partner was simply mirroring back to me my own inner wounds. I have been working on finding and releasing my limiting beliefs, and much progress has been made. I am at a point in my life where I am finally beginning to self-partner and BE love instead of looking for it outside of myself.

I’m now at a crossroads. My children and I are staying with my parents and I feel stuck in this limbo of not knowing where to go or what to do next. I have manifested a parttime job that I enjoy which allows me to express my creativity, but I feel called to start my own business and that is where I need some clarity. I’ve started down the path of becoming a certified postpartum doula, but halfway through I’m shifting gears and thinking maybe I ought to be doing something else. I’ve fleshed out that my ultimate goal is to help women (specifically women who are mothers) connect and build their villages in order to create much-needed support networks that are so often lacking in our society. I’d like to know how to discern whether I’m contemplating giving up on my path to certification because it’s hard and outside my comfort zone, or whether these feelings are presenting themselves because there’s another, better way to reach my goal. Any insight you have to offer would be much appreciated.

With much love,

Dear Kyla,

As you have already become aware that you attracted a certain relationship which matched your feelings of self, you have indeed raised your vibration so that you are no longer a match to that and are in the process of becoming ready for what you do want. This is very good. In the relationship you viewed yourself in a certain way and your mate was there to reflect your feelings. In your career or business, your customers, employees and finances will reflect your feelings just as a mate would in a relationship. Therefore it is necessary to understand how you are feeling before starting any new venture.

Many people want to start their own business because they hate their job or their boss or their co-workers. They believe that by starting their own business they will be able to control aspects of their work life that they believed were out of their control. They did not realize that they were creating all of it. So, as they begin their new business, they find themselves facing the same conditions. They did not do the vibrational work on themselves that was necessary to create an environment that reflected what they wanted and so nothing really changed.

As you contemplate starting a business to help women, you must understand your own motivation. Are you wanting this business of helping others in order to make yourself feel good about you? if so, it will not work. You must feel good about you first. You must feel confident first. You must not look upon those who seek your help as needing your help because you will only be looking at what they lack.

Most people who seek to help others do so because they believe it will make them feel good about themselves. But as they are focused on the problems of those they seek to help, the intensify the need and the help is not received well. Those who need the help do not receive what they need and those trying to help do not receive what they think they want.

This reality is all about self. You do not need to help others for all are on their own unique path and all have intended to explore certain aspects of reality. This is a selfish reality and your help will come as you gain alignment with who you really are and what you really want. We encourage you to complete your certification and work in that field for a little while before starting a new business. You were lead to this interest and there is much for you to learn and understand. There is a reason you were drawn to this in the first place. There is a reason you decided to become certified. When you complete your training and engage in the practice, you will build confidence. This confidence will alter your beliefs about self and your world will shift quite substantially as a result.

You are on the right path and as you overcome your fears and doubts, you will be led easily and directly to where you really want to be.

You are loved more than you can imagine,