Hi Joshua ,

I had an experience that I felt some negative emotion and resistance. I want to find out why, given my understanding of how this all works, did I need or decide to be resistant.

A woman was referred to me to do an appraisal on her home. She wanted to know what the market value was because she wanted to sell it. I no longer do appraisals so I’m not really set up to do them and I’ve turned down other such work in the past. But, because she was referred by a friend and I believed she needed my help (and I wanted to do an appraisal just because it’s fun for me) I decided to do it.

She gave me her address and I started to do the research. The house happened to be in a neighborhood that I am very familiar with. I’ve sold houses in the neighborhood, I’ve renovated homes there and I’ve done a ton of appraisals in that very small and specific neighborhood. I’ve even renovated a home on her same street.

In doing my research I saw that she paid the most ever for a house in that area and had listed it for sale well above the value (nearly double the average) of homes in the neighborhood. When I came to the house, I saw that she had put a lot of money into it in renovations and upgrades that well exceeded the standard of that particular neighborhood.

I went into great detail and wrote out a very large report detailing the neighborhood and how I arrived at my value opinion. It came in much lower than she expected and she was not happy. She called me and wanted to persuade me that I was wrong, that I had made some mistake, and that I didn’t know what I was doing. I was relatively calm and I really wanted to explain how I arrived at the value and how a property valuation is arrived at. She just wanted me to use sales of homes outside her neighborhood and raise the value. I did not understand what purpose that would have. If you are paying for someone’s opinion of value, why ask them for a different opinion? How would that help you? If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong and if she sells the house for more than what I believed it was worth, then good for her. But why ask me to change my opinion?

So I’m wondering what this very intense manifestation event was all about?

Thanks and Regards,


Dear Gary,

It has a lot to do with how you perceive yourself to be as an expert in this field and nothing is wrong with that. When you believe you know something, no matter what that is, you limit yourself because your beliefs are so strong. Why do you care what value you give? Why not make her happy? Why not agree with her? Because you don’t think that will help her? Why would you want to help anyone who clearly doesn’t want it? She’s not listening to you and you’re not listening to her. In this situation it is not of any importance to either of you. She’s going to do whatever she does. She’s going to prove you wrong by selling her house for more than you thought it was worth or she’s not going to sell it at all. Either way, she has created a desire to make you wrong and she believes this is good.

You, on the other hand, don’t need to care about it. You aren’t working in that field any more. You might have felt nostalgic or that it was a bad idea to give it up. Now you know that it was the past and you can leave it behind. You are going on to much greater things. You need not involve yourself with this pettiness. It is truly not important. Get what the experience had to offer, which is that your time is worth far more than this, and believe in your own power.

It is okay to allow others to have and hold onto their own opinions even if you know it is not serving them. You can’t see what they must go through to get where they want to go. You do not need to judge their chosen path as wrong. This will come up for you from time to time as you see people living in contrast to what they say they want. You must let them be. Offer our wisdom when it is suitable, but do not be emotionally attached to their results. Everything is a nudge in the right direction. Don’t ask the nudge to be a shove.