Hi Joshua,

I am going through a divorce right now and my girlfriend who I feel very deeply about just met my kids for the first time last night. It was a bit much for her and I’ve tried to explain as best I can that everything is going to be ok. She didn’t think that they would be this much work. I care and love her very very deeply and we both agree that we have never had someone feel so passionate about the other person. She wants me to say something that will just make it all click for her in her mind and I’ve said as much as I feel like I can. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Dear Wesley,

You reached a certain vibrational level based on the experiences of your past and so did your girlfriend. You are now vibrationally matched to each other. She is a match to you and you are a match to her. Since your relationship with your children is part of your vibration, she must match that as well. There is something for her in her relationship with you and there is also something for her in her new relationship with your children. Of course, depending on her vibration and the experiences she must go through to become the vibrational match to her soul’s desires, she must come in contact with you and your children to explore the dynamics of those relationships.

She, like everyone else, is expanding through experiences to become a vibrational match to her soul’s true desires. Part of her exploration and expansion includes the expansive properties of these new relationships. However, it is not known what is in this for her. That is not any of your concern, because all you are doing is expanding through the interaction with her and your own kids. There is nothing more that you could say, because you cannot know what she needs out of these new relationships. However, you can know for sure that she, like everyone else, set some intentions prior to her birth. She is also eternally connected to you and your children. This interaction was intended prior to her birth and so it is right as it is.

She has a set of beliefs that inform her vibration and that set of beliefs must change in order for her to become a vibrational match to her true desires. Those desires intended prior to her birth are mostly general in nature. She intended to express love and acceptance for herself, all others and the conditions in her life. She intended to experience freedom and abundance. She intended to expand through experiences in joy. She also intended something more specific. She is gaining some clarity and expansion through these new relationships.

Look at her general intentions. She intended to love and accept herself, all others and her conditions. Is she doing that or is she resisting that? In fear (resistance) she is not making her way easily to the version of her who will be ready for the unfolding of the life she intended to live. It is simply fear. Fear that it’s too much to handle. Fear that she won’t be treated as she wishes. Fear that her role as a mother may now be compromised. Fear that she will not live up to certain expectations. These are all irrational fears and therefore they are all false. However, can you really explain this to her? From her perspective, these fears are not easily resolved.

In fear, one receives urges to control the conditions. Control is no solution since the conditions can never be controlled and never need to be controlled. But, if one lives in the old approach to life of control, one will likely do whatever the urges say. If the only way to control the situation is to leave, then that may be the only choice from her limited perspective. If you want to ease her transition into these new relationships, simply provide her with more choices and accept that you have no ability to control her perspective.

You cannot create in another’s reality, but you can and do influence their perspective. Your only choice is to allow her the room to gain through the experience on her own. However she chooses to process the experience is up to her and it is right either way. You do not want to control the experience of another just to keep the relationship going. Whenever you seek to control something out of the fear of loss, you do so from a stance of fear. Fear is limiting and thus what you are actually doing is not gaining the expansion from the experience as was intended.

You must come to a realization that whatever happens is right as it is and leave all thoughts of control out of it. In fear, you will also receive urges to change the conditions. Actions taken on these urges will not lead you to where you want to go. You must realize that if the relationship takes root and grows, that is a good thing. If it unravels and falls apart, that is also a good thing. The key here is not the forced development of a relationship that is not meant to be. It is to be confident that whatever experience you gain from this relationship is always the true benefit of the relationship, because it is expansive and will lead you to where you truly want to be.

You are a vibrational match to this relationship now, but that might change. If it does, then you will be a vibrational match to the next better thing. From your limited perspective, you cannot see how that would unfold and this causes you to maintain relationships past their expiration date. In reality, you want to be easy and confident about the whole experience. If it works, good. If it doesn’t last, good. This is how you engage the laws of the universe to become a match to what you truly want. It might be the evolution of this relationship or something else entirely. You cannot know. You do not want to know. You want to allow it to unfold as it will without exerting any form of control whatsoever. You simply want to be easy and maintain your alignment.

If you have fear that your girlfriend is overwhelmed by your children, you will receive urges to fix the problem. However, there is no problem. If you act on an urge and do something in the hopes it will solve this problem, you will complicate the situation and add more fear to the mix. If you allow her space to raise her vibration on her own, she will receive inspiration that will lead all of you to where you truly want to be. Have faith in the system. Don’t throw a wrench into it out of fear that you must fix some problem that truly does not exist.

With our love,
We are Joshua