Hi Joshua,

I love you all so very much. I have been listening to podcasts for months. They have helped me so much. One day I will join the One on One and I can’t wait.

I was wondering if you could help me with something I have been struggling with for too long! I’m done and ready to move on. I want a boyfriend. I want a man I can laugh with. Grow with. Talk with. I want that one special someone! The universe seems to keep sending me a plethora of guys that are just not the one. Whyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! I am doing the work and I’m ready for him! What else can I do? And why does the universe keep teasing me?


Dear Tracy,

Would you like the short answer or the long answer? The long answer would take a commitment to entering the One on One program and completely changing your approach to life. You may not have time for that. So here we go with the short answer. There is no problem. There is nothing wrong with you or the men you meet. Everything is working out perfectly. There is only one thing standing in your way and there’s only one thing that ever stands in your way. You might know it as resistance. You might be able to understand that you are simply resisting your desire. The resistance is just fear. Resolve the fear and you will have your boyfriend.

Okay, resistance is just fear. You have many men coming you you, yet none of them are the right one. is this really possible given what you already know about the laws of the universe? Of course not. You are receiving a vibrational match to the signal you are emitting. If you want something different, simply alter your signal. How do you alter your signal? By reducing the amount of fear contained within it.

You have a certain set of beliefs around having a boyfriend. You believe that there are a finite number of men (maybe only one) who can make you happy. You believe that your happiness is somewhat dependent on him. You believe that you should be in a commited relationship and so should he. You have a checklist of every possible attribute he must have. You have some insecurities about yourself. And after all that, you believe it is up to you to find this person rather than to allow him to come to you. There are so many limiting beliefs.

Each time you met someone and you listed all the reasons he was not for you, you refined your desire and created even more resistance. Instead, you must give up your control and give in to the fact that who you want can’t come to you as you are now because your list of restrictions is prohibitive. Throw away your list and just allow him to come.

You believe that you must get the right guy or you’ll miss the right guy. You don’t want to be in a relationship because you might not be available when the right man comes. To you, there is only one right man and if you’re in a relationship with someone else, you won’t be able to find him or he won’t find you. Well, that’s not how the universe works. If you are seeking the right one, then date whoever you want to date until he finds you. If he doesn’t find you, then the one you’re with might just turn into the right guy after all. Imagine that. What if you’re looking in all the wrong places and therefore the right guy can’t come to you because you’re too quick to judge the men you date? What if he needs to get acclimated to you first? But as you are being now, you aren’t giving anyone a chance and so with that in your vibration, he cannot come.

We suggest you chill out and enjoy dating around as much as you possibly can. Don’t take anything seriously. Give up your desperate need (fear) to find that one boyfriend and cultivate a lot of relationships. Forget about what you think that means. It does not define you as anything. Do not care what others may think. Have fun and be a fun person. Don’t have a care in the world. Give up on the idea of one special guy and enjoy the special qualities of many men. When you give up your attachment to your fantasy, your fantasy will show up. It’s your fear that’s keeping it away.

We thank you for asking this question and if you understand what we have said in this answer (and other similar answers), you will see that it’s simply the fear of loss that leads you to believe that you won’t find that special someone. That is simply not possible in this reality.

You are already loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count. You don’t need one man to love you, you simply want to express your natural love to others. In doing that, you send a new signal and everything you truly want will flow to you.

With our love,
We are Joshua