Dear Joshua,

I have a conundrum! As Gary advised, I didn’t contact Justin who previously offered to pay for my trip to Vegas. And as Gary suggested – I kept open to the universe & kept visualizing just being on the flight. Not worrying about how or when or the details – just seeing it. Then the universe did respond – in the form of Justin.

I bumped him to him after not seeing him for weeks & as we caught up (in a civil manor) he once again expressed that I should go & that despite our not being together he wanted to support me & still loves me and wants me to continue my journey and he wants to support it.
I wasn’t convinced. Taking his money felt so wrong.

Then the next day, he came out with a bombshell that on his recent holiday with his children he “spent time” with another woman and that he knows he messed up & he feels so bad. He assured me he was “faithful” to me. I didn’t understand his remorse or guilt, as we are not together – it’s out of my control or concern who he spends time with or sleeps with for that matter.

However, I guess it hurt a little that he tried to move on so quick; it was the last thing on my mind! But I understand his limited perspective & know that he was trying to do the best with what he was given. Which was “losing” me, and in the hopes to move on realized his love for me. Perhaps. Regardless of the motives or the story, I was not upset with him – I have no right to be. But it changed the feeling surrounding the money he is offering me. I thought “fuck it, take the money!” & here is where I was yesterday.

Until this morning, when we had a slight disagreement & I became passionate about something. Later on he then called me and expressed how surprised he was that I would talk to him in such a way, and how could I “ask him for money” and feel good about “taking it from him” and “treat him that way.” I reiterated that I had never asked, and that he offered. He agreed. But I saw his use of this money to manipulate me already starting, before I’ve even received it! However, the question remains; do I take it or not?

I have been mulling over this for the past four days and time has come to make a decision! I will be happy whatever the outcome. If Vegas wasn’t meant to be, there will be other things in the future.

However, a group of friends of mine are arriving in California on the 19^th, which also gives me a place to bunk for a couple days by the beach before my return. All signs are pointing (until yesterday) and urging me to “GO”!

The fears surrounding the trip (meeting new people, if I am good enough, teaching yoga to you all, if I’m good enough) all make me want to push past it even more – for I know that if I do my limiting believe of “not being good enough” will pass & that perhaps I will start to really see how worthy I am! The universe was telling me to go.

But this morning, after his behaviors and words toward me surrounding the subject: I felt what I felt all along. “Control” – he might use it against me forever. He is trying to control me.” Is this another limiting fear of mine?

Helpppp!!! What do I do!!!!!!????

Love,
Tistrya

Dear Tistrya,

As you are well aware, we will never suggest that you do or do not do anything. We will not point you in the direction of a decision. Whatever decision you make will be perfect for you, because you cannot make a wrong decision. If you take the money and come to Las Vegas, you will expand as a result of that decision. If you choose not to take the money and stay home, you will also expand as a result of that decision. Since you came to this reality to expand through experience, you cannot get it wrong. Since you are always expanding in every moment, you will never get it done.

However, we would say that it is appropriate to think about love and fear. In love, in confidence, without fear, what choice would you make? If you could push past all of the fears that pop up around any such decision, what would you choose? The fear is being triggered by limiting beliefs. The belief that you are not worthy, are not good enough or will be manipulated is all based on limiting beliefs. Since you are worthy and good and have nothing to fear, the limiting beliefs are false. They are not true. They are simply limiting. Without those beliefs, your decision would be easy.

You can succumb to fear and in doing so you limit the experiences you are willing to have. All fear is is limiting. You are a limitless being and you need not be limited by fear. If it is too much for you, the fear prevents you from doing what will be uncomfortable and that is a good thing. However, if you are ready for the experience you will notice that you are excited by the idea and that the universe is lining everything up for you. That is the sign that this experience is for your highest good.

If Justin chooses to manipulate you through the gift of this trip, that is his right. However, it will always be your choice whether to participate or not. You are the creator of your reality and not the victim of another’s control. If you find yourself being the victim to anyone, it is just your way of controlling the conditions.

With our love,
We are Joshua

Dear Joshua,

If I keep vibrating a certain quality or feeling and it keeps appearing through mates that are like my father, same qualities etc.. Is it possible it is my father who keeps coming back through these mates? Can those who have croaked come back over and over again?

I understand you either attract people because you feel that way or you Definitely don’t want anyone like that in your world The later resonates with me.

Thanks,
Trisha

Dear Trisha,

You have asked a question that will help many, many people and we want to address the entirety of your question as well as the individual parts. First, you wonder if you are attracting people like your father because your father is coming back to this reality in another incarnation. While he may come back if he wishes to do so and he may even interact with you in some regard, he has not come back in that way and would not do so. This would be too confusing for you and he is aware of that.

We will start by saying that everyone you know or have known in this physical reality you also know in the nonphysical. You interact there and here. You make plans for there and here. You love and adore each other in the nonphysical and you come together in this reality to explore various aspects of your relationship just for the fun of doing so. At times you may not think it’s fun here, but you will definitely have a laugh about it from your nonphysical perspective.

You are not attracting your father as a mate but you see certain aspects of your father in the mates you choose. Let’s see if we can bring that into clarity for you. Imagine the personality of your father and how that personality carried forth into the nonphysical after his transition. In physical form he was love, appreciation, tender, hard working, supportive of his family, caring, and many other wonderful qualities and these are the aspects of his personality that he carried with him to the nonphysical. In his physical body he also carried some traits that were in the form of human baggage. He might have been insecure, fearful or worried. He might have been defensive or overly protective. He might have been angry or disappointed. These traits did not follow him into the nonphysical.

So when you are thinking that your mate has some qualities of your father are you thinking of the loving aspects or the fearful aspects? You get to choose. There is only one person in this world you need to love. It is not a mate or a parent, it is you. You must learn to love yourself and from that standpoint of self-love and selfappreciation, you will attract one who sees in you what you see in yourself. If you love yourself, you will attract someone who sees what you see. If you are insecure about your love for yourself, you will find someone who is insecure in your love for them. Until you change how you feel about yourself, you cannot attract anyone, friends or lovers, who see you for more than you see yourself. Love yourself first. Really own it and mean it. Do not love yourself in order to get someone who will also love you, love yourself regardless of what happens.

So how does one come to love themselves. It is simply a matter of realization that who you are is perfect in this moment. We see your perfection and you must come, over time, to see it as well. You are perfect whether you think you are or not. We use the term “perfect” rather than good or worthy because we want there to be no levels in this meaning. When we say worthy or good you can compare yourself to another and believe yourself to be more or less worthy or good than another. In this case you are perfect and there is no room for improvement. All others are perfect just where they are as well. There is nothing you can do to become better for you are perfect as you are.

You can’t be better and then start to love yourself. You can’t be more beautiful, successful, confident, smarter, more spiritually evolved and then love yourself. You must love yourself unconditionally now, as you are and the side effect will be those other things.

Don’t ever compare yourself to others, only compare you to you. Look at who you are now and see the progress from who you were. See your own evolution and see how< much you’ve grown. The you that you are now is ready for you to love yourself. Until you do, no relationship can manifest in the way you want it to.

Are you starting to understand how this all works? Can you see that the mates you attracted were not like your father; they were like you. They loved you in the exact way you loved yourself. They treated you how you treated yourself. They will always think of you in the exact way you think of yourself. They will always, always be a reflection of who you are being.

Your true desire is to be who you really are. Once you do that, you will attract a mate who sees the best in you. They will love you unconditionally because you love yourself unconditionally. It will not be possible for them to love you in any other way. However, if you continue to love yourself conditionally, it will not be possible for a new mate to love you any other way. Your mates will always be a mirror to who you are being. This is the law of the universe and it cannot be any other way.

Fortunately for you, you understand the mechanism of physical reality better than almost anyone you know. You understand more about this stuff than 99% of humanity. You have the tools and the desire to create your own reality. But it’s an inside job. Meditate, appreciate, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. Don’t dream about the mate, don’t hold on to a picture of what a happy relationship looks like. Forget all that stuff. Work on how you feel about yourself and everything will come from there.

It is simple to imagine and become who you really are. You accomplish it in stages.

Stage One: Understand that who you really are is who you would be in the nonphysical. Just as the personality of your father left behind the fearful aspects of his nature when he transitioned to the nonphysical, you must look at those aspects of your personality that you will leave behind when you make your transition. Any though or behavior that stems from love will be carried forth to the nonphysical and any thought or behavior that stems from fear will be left behind.

Stage Two: Act like the highest version of yourself now. Do not fear, only love. Do not protect yourself for that is a stance of fear. You cannot be harmed by words so stop living life by any other standards than your own.

Stage Three: Go inside. Spend time meditating. Communicate with your inner self. Speak to your guides. Imagine yourself as perfect, strong and courageous.

Step Four: Look for signs of growth and development. When something happens that you don’t like, look at it and see the message, the lesson, the new understanding that comes from it and appreciate it. We’re talking about all events, large and small. If someone honks their horn at you or gives you a rude comment, don’t react in the old ways. Look for the message!

Step Five: Focus on the aspects of your life that are going well.

Step Six: Compare the now you to the old you and see how far you’ve come. Never compare yourself, or your situation to another; compare you to you.

Step Seven: Believe, believe, believe. Believe that all things are coming to you because they are meant to come in order for you to expand. Believe that everything that comes to you is right and is part of the journey and the process. Believe in the power of your mind and your abilities. You are more powerful than you know. You are doing better than you think. Come to terms with the you that is and love every aspect that is you now in this moment and in the next and the next.

You are loved more than you can imagine. You are never alone. We see your amazing perfection. It’s time for you to see what we see.

Love,
Joshua