Hello Gary and Joshua,

I must say that since you’ve answered my questions and also I read your articles, my vibration is much higher- I really feel it. Today I was a little confused so I decided to pray – I thought maybe I’ll reach my higher self, so I start talking and talking about the subject, and said exactly what I was feeling and after the prayer I don’t think I had more clarity, but I felt real good and forgot all about the subject. so… I don’t know why, but I want to thank you for that.

Well, my question this time is: I’m a single. I’m happy with that, I mean I’m not sad or something, but also want to have a partner for life and get married. I know…I probably didn’t get married until now because I had “things” to expand into (btw I was ready for it since I was 29 ). But that is irrational for me. Isn’t there any guy in this whole world that would be a match to me to expand together with me?

I don’t want someone just to learn about myself, but that we stay together after the lesson. What always happens is that after I figure something meaningful from a relationship something happens and it doesn’t have to be a breakup, it could be a sudden disconnection that was as if the universe created it. And I don’t expect it. On the contrary – I expect to speak with the person, and I hate it!!

Just when I learn, just when I could be me in this relationship, just as I felt so good about myself – boom! starting all over again… and I know I shouldn’t care about other people, but how come other people do find each other? With all their faults etc. is it possible that there is no one for me to love, and for him to love me just the way we are and to expand together? Should we really expand alone? It’s really hard for me even to imagine that idea but that is exactly what’s happening. Is it because I’m egotistical or I use people? Because I don’t mean to do that…it just popped up. How can I change that? What are the components of the opposite vibration of mine? Thanks so much, really appreciate that.


Dear Shira,

You are here experiencing this physical environment because you wanted to come here to expand. While you certainly expand regardless of the conditions, the expansion you seek is through your interaction with others. Your mother causes you to expand and your lovers cause you to expand. You desire this type of meaningful expansion. You cannot ask another to be in your life who will not help you to expand. The purpose of other people is to help you become more and to become who you really are. When you resist expansion, you separate yourself from who you really are. Do you know who you really are? You are a being of pure love and complete acceptance.

Anytime you act in a way that is not in alignment with who you really are you feel negative emotion and this does not feel good. You assume the negative emotion is caused by the other person so you try to make them behave in a way that will keep you from feeling negative emotion. You believe it is their responsibility to keep you feeling good. If they loved you, they would not make you feel bad. Yet it is how you perceive every situation that causes you to act in a way or think in a way that is out of alignment with the loving being you really are.

All love starts with self-love. If you cannot love yourself as you are, you cannot expect to enter any relationship without incurring negative emotion. The other person will cause you to think. You can choose to think or perceive anything in a way that aligns with who you really are (a being of pure love and total acceptance) or not. If you perceive the situation from the higher perspective, in a loving way, you will not feel negative emotion, you will feel good. Regardless of how the other person acts, what the other person does or says, you can view it all from a position of love. In doing so, you cannot get hurt. You are the being of love. You know you are a being of love and when you act in that way and when you think in that way, every relationship will be filled with joy.

Relationships do not need to last forever. You can enjoy a relationship for a day, a week, a month, a year or many years. That is not what’s important. Enjoy the relationship today and forget about tomorrow. Think how nice it is today and that’s all you need to to. There are endless relationships lined up for you and each one will bring you closer to who you really are. If you are not that person today, that’s okay. You’re on your way and that’s all that really matters.

You are loved and supported by more than you could ever count. Feel their love for you and in doing so increase the amount of love you feel for yourself.