Hi Joshua.

I was shown your website by my cousin completely out of the blue, so I know I am meant to be here and hopefully find an answer or some direction to the situations I’m finding myself in more often as of late. The loving mother and spirit of ayahuasca welcomed me into her arms a few years ago and since then I have come a long way within myself both mentally and spiritually. I have been given the opportunity for exponential growth and awareness and I’m so grateful for that. I now 100% love who I am and openly put loving energy out into the world.

But in doing so I now feel incredible amounts of love and connection for certain women that come into my life every now and then. I feel that me being so open and honest (borderline excited) to those people that I’m too much for them and I scare them off, or that I now have criteria for the kind of woman I want to be with so I’m forever letting myself fall too deep for those women even though I know there will be either no reciprocation or the feelings quickly fizzle out. I don’t go out and search for love but when I feel a strong connection come along I seem to latch onto it.

Anyway I guess my question is why do these connections that I feel so strong for always seem to fizzle out and hurt me so bad? Why is it that I continue to go down that road? Why is there rarely the reciprocation from her that I’m yearning for? Is it that I am too open and I have an unrealistic expectation of the return love I crave because I’ve felt true love before? I long for the kind of love and connection that I have for myself.


Dear Shane,

You are a limitless and eternal being of pure positive love and acceptance. That is who you are and that is who everyone else is too. To some degree you are limiting who you are and so is everyone else. You now have a glimpse of who you are due to your experiences with Ayahuasca. You see who you really are in great detail, and you yearn for that to be the living example that you expose to the world. However, most of the women (and men) you meet are not ready to see that. They are attached to their limited version of themselves. For you, it is important to understand this. It isn’t about you, it’s simply about them.

Now, as you are aware, there are certain universal laws which will produce what you want. In order for you to become a match to what you want, you must alter your vibration. The most direct way to change your vibration is to change your set of beliefs. You currently believe that your love should be reciprocated, but this is actually what you do not want. You want to give love and then allow the one who can see you for who you are to find you. You do not want every woman to fall madly in love with you. That would not work to your benefit even though you might fantasize that it would. You are becoming ready for the one who will be able to appreciate and reciprocate the deep and unique love you are able to offer.

Until the time comes that you are ready for that person, you will go through some manifestation events. You will find yourself in situations where you are inspired to exude your love and then see that the object of your desire is not the one who is ready. You are also not ready. These manifestation events help get you ready. When she arrives, you will recognize her.

At this stage in your development you would not recognize her if she were standing right in front of you because you are not yet a vibrational match. It is better to think of this time in your life as your training period. You are getting ready. You are being transformed. You are encountering many instances where you feel negative emotion. These are your manifestation events. The events are not wrong. Your negative emotion is your indication that you have beliefs which are not aligned with who you know yourself to be. You must alter those beliefs by realizing they are based in fear. There is nothing to fear. It is just a process. You are becoming ready. You are moving to the place you want to be. Just release your need for your love to be reciprocated and focus on allowing your love for yourself and others to flow unrestricted without demanding that there be some sort of outcome.

The outcomes that actually happen as a result of your expression of love are always the right outcomes. You do not want it to be any other way. Trust us. If someone does not return your love, that is a very good thing. You cannot see very far down the road. You cannot know how it will all play out. You imagine that things would be good if only she would realize what she’s missing. It would not be. What you want is the one who will be ready for you. What you want is to be ready for her. It will happen when you let go of your own plans and let the universe work it out. Work on yourself first, allow these events to play out, release your irrational fears, and watch with eager anticipation as things unfold for you. It is our promise that everything is working out for you. Just relax and allow it to come.

With all our unconditional love,

We are Joshua