Dear Joshua,

I wrote to you a while back asking about how you viewed romantic love and soul mates. Well, I think I may have just experienced the law of attraction in action when it comes to romantic love myself. 🙂 Earlier this month, I listened to a podcast from a Law of Attraction coach, who talked about 10 affirmations you can do for finding a soulmate. He spoke the affirmations for males, and had a female friend speak for females. I repeated these affirmations just for “the heck of it” with no expectations, while I was working, working out, and home alone. Shortly after, I got a friend request notification from an largely unknown and mostly dead specialty online dating site, in which I had mostly forgotten about even having a profile on, and had not logged in for over two years.

I checked in, responded, but got no reply from the person who sent it. Meanwhile, I saw another profile which had been active recently, and “for the heck of it” sent her a friend request which she promptly accepted. However, I was not sure if I was ever going to write her, since my last message got ignored by the person who initially friended me. Well, she wrote me first! I responded, and it has just BLOWN up to a level I would have never expected. We have so many common values, and interests, and of course, mutual attraction. I have opened up to her on a level I have not opened up to anyone in a long time. It just feels like we mirror each other.

She is 1600 miles away and there is a considerable age difference (38-23), but we both agreed that our situation is a little unique. And in the end its not an issue. So, as you know I am pretty excited. You talked about romantic love being close to what you experience in the non-physical, but without the fear. First the fear was that she was finally going to decide that I am too old, then it was that I was getting “cat fished”. I am certain she is who she says she is now. So, now we are planning on meeting face to face.

So my questions are: 1. Would you consider this a textbook case of the Law of Attraction? She is not a follower of it and we have not really talked about it yet. But it was just weird that this exploded right after I did those affirmations. 2. There are still fearful thoughts, mainly in the HUGE inevitable life change that seems destined at this point to happen. Will my fear thoughts sabotage this thing and bring it crashing down if I don’t keep them at bay? Thanks for your help as always!


Dear Matt,

Yes indeed, this is a very easy to understand example of the Law of Attraction at work. The Law of Attraction is always at work, in every moment, in every situation. You just call it normal life. It takes a big event such as this for you to recognize that something else is going on here. It’s not just luck or some random event, it’s your power of focus that created this magnificent manifestation.

You are correct in acknowledging that fear can derail your fledgling romance. But there is powerful wanting behind this relationship on both sides. You will have fear and she will have fear. It is part of the game. The goal should be to realize that irrational fear will show up, but you must stop and analyze it. Find the truth behind the fear. Find evidence that proves the fear is false. Do not let the fear get in your way. You can control it. You manifested something you wanted so now you must maintain the vibration of this by maintaining a positive perspective. If and when fear strikes, stop, think, and return your focus to what is wanted.

We would like to interject that the proper position regarding love is to be a lover and not a needy receiver of love. You want to express your love without the need (which is based in lack) to have it equally reciprocated. Do not care how and to what extent your partner is loving you, only focus on how you can love her. Do not attempt to manipulate her into loving you more or differently. Accept her as she is without trying to change her. Find ways to unconditionally love. This will place you in a state of confident allowing and the fullness of this relationship (or any other) will come out.

Fear of change is one of the strongest and most powerful fears. But it is an irrational fear because you are always changing; billions of times per second, in fact. You cannot stop change, so why fight it? When you desire anything, what you really want is change. All you’re really asking for is change. Change is the thing you want most in life. So do not worry about change. Remember, the Law of Attraction brought you that which you asked for. You can ask for anything and as long as you allow it, it will come. Have faith that the universe is working this all out for you and there is nothing to fear.

You know more about the forces of the universe and the mechanism of physical reality that almost anyone on the planet. Use what you know to create the relationship of your dreams. Focus on the positive aspects of the other person in a confident and knowing manner. You know how the system works. You know this is an illusion. You know that you’re the center of your universe and that the outside world is a reflection of how you feel on the inside. Feel good. Feel confident. Feel loving. This is how you create the relationship you truly desire.

You are already loved more than you can imagine.