Dear Joshua,

I have a question that I have been struggling with for the past 3-4 weeks. I have cbeen trying to resolve it myself and I also have been trying to write out my manifestation events leading from my interaction and I am unable to get past 3 sentences. Here is my situation …

I met a guy about a year ago at one of my racing events. He had showed interest and asked me out to dinner and I declined. I did not really think much about it at the time.

Fast forward to this year, and I decided to take him up on his offer. So instead of going out to dinner, we ate dinner at the house he was staying at with his friends. It became intimate very quickly. He said some very nice things to me, very complimentary and also things that I think scared him. Anyway, we talked about getting together and it was never really happening, so I decided to “control” the situation and book a flight to see him. I realize that now. Anyway, no one has ever told me to not come and see them, but he did!

I can’t even still believe it, but he did. That is when I completely knew that he was never really interested in me. It was all just words. Empty words. I told him that if I didn’t come to see him, that that would be the last he ever would hear from me and I have kept my word on that. I have not tried to reach out, not even once. But it has caused me some heartache and feelings of non resolve. He also has not reached out. After I told him he would not hear from me, he said, No, I will hear from you, don’t be silly. And I said, No, you won’t. That was it for me. But obviously, I am still thinking that this guy came into my life to teach me some things maybe that’s it but I still am a bit curious and do not feel closure. How do I move past this?

I understand acceptance, of all and that everything is right. Just wanted to ask your thoughts, so I can move past this and make myself available for yet another interaction with a guy.

Thank you Joshua for your thoughts,
Kimmie

Dear Kimmie,

You are a limitless and magnificent being of pure positive love and acceptance exploring reality on a journey of self-discovery. Who you are being now is a limited version of who you really are. This is true of everyone. You did not come to be the full expression of who you are without first exploring the more limited version of your true self. Along the way, as you explore who you are not, you will have expansive experiences that allow you to see the self-limited aspect of who you are being. You expand either way. If you understand how you are being limited, you will move to another level of beingingness. If you do not understand who you are being, you might blame the conditions or the other people. You still expand, but not in the most effective manner possible.

Let’s assume you set intentions prior to your birth. Most of your intentions are general in nature, but one or more are more specific. There is something you want to explore in this reality as Kimmie in a new way. Let’s also imagine that you are a great and powerful explorer and so the intentions you set caused a powerful trajectory that led you to the life you are living now. That life is very good indeed, however, there is still something that you are choosing to explore. It is the exploration of unworthiness in the area of romantic relationships. In this area, you do not see your value, you only feel unworthy.

This specific manifestation event points out a feeling of unworthiness through the emotion of rejection. If you were the fullest and most worthy version of who you really are, you could not possibly feel the emotion of rejection. If would not register as negative emotion. For instance, you feel worthy in your career. If a client asked you not to come by the office today, you would not feel rejected, because you feel much more worthy in that area. Therefore, your limiting belief has to do with your opinion of yourself as a viable mate in a loving relationship. You can know for certain that you adopted this limiting belief along your journey of self-discovery. You can see that it is quite intense and strong. You can also know that this limiting belief will grow stronger in the future unless you do the work to resolve it now. The limiting belief that you are not worthy of love is false. However, it is so strong within you that you maintain the intensity of this belief.

The limiting belief causes you to want the conditions (other people) to prove to you that you are worthy of love. If they do, you feel good. However, since this reality reflects back to you how you really feel, you will always run into the emotion of rejection as you maintain your basis in the belief that you are unworthy of love. You will always have a caveat. You will tell yourself things like “this one is unavailable. This one is emotionally detached. “This one has some other problem, etc.” you will always choose mates, not on the intrinsic compatibility of the relationship, but on their ability to make you feel worthy. The way you choose a mate is not on the basis of love, but on the basis of how much you perceive they can make you feel worthy.

You like one because if he loved you that would really mean you are worthy of love. You dislike another, not because they aren’t a good match to you, but because you do not feel like their love would make you feel worthy. So you must always be on the lookout for something special that you perceive proves you are worthy of love. Not only will this never work, but it must always lead to rejection, because the universe will always point out the flaw in your premise. You cannot feel something in the conditions you create that you do not already feel now.

Feel worthy and you will become vibrationally attracted to someone who will perfectly match how you feel. Feel unworthy and you will always find someone who will make you feel unworthy. This is the basis of this system of physical reality. You are not the one exception to the law. Stop trying to make yourself feel worthy by controlling conditions. As you can see this approach is based in fear and will always lead to manifestation events that feel painful to you. Find your worthiness first and attract from that point of perspective. See yourself not in need of love, but one who only expresses love. Love yourself first and then allow someone who does not match your type come into your life.

You have a long history of seeking that which can never be. You have a momentum of choosing mates in order to feel worthy of love. You must abandon all of that now and allow in a new type. Someone who loves himself and who accepts you as you are. He may not look the same, he may not have the same status, or he may look completely different to you at first. However, he will lead you along a path toward a state of love. That love is always for yourself.

This is what you came to explore. This is the great lynchpin of your life. Your journey of self-discovery is built on your perception of yourself as worthy of love. Your limiting beliefs are all based around this idea. If you can come to a state of self-love and self-acceptance, you will find someone to love. Until that happens, you will always, always find those who allow you to see your own opinion of yourself. It’s time for you to raise that opinion of yourself in the area of romantic love.

With our love for you,
We are Joshua