Good day Joshua,

Thank you so much for your time and insight. I would like to know how to best support my partner through his feelings of depression. He feels lost and unsure about everything in his life. He once said kind of jokingly “my life has no meaning”, but I could feel a bit of truth in it. He keeps getting further and further from me emotionally and I would love to know what I can do to help to get him to spiral up verses down. Even further, how would he go about finding his true calling; that seems to be what he’s longing for. Thank you.

With Love, Cassandra

Dear Cassandra,

We understand your desire to help your partner. Certainly, when you see someone close to you in distress, it is your desire to help him in some way. You might like him to be happier and more fulfilled. However, he is working through a very important process. This is part of a larger issue that you cannot know. For him, this condition he finds himself in feels safe. Even though he is mired in negative thought, he feels comfortable with all of it. His fears are less intense or so he thinks.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but be a positive influence on him. You must not allow his current state to influence you away from that which you have come here to do. You must not allow him to distract you from your joy. You can still follow your interests and passions even though he is unable to do the same for himself. All you can do is inspire him from your place of alignment.

You cannot and will not change him no matter how hard you try. You cannot fight against anything you don’t like. You can allow him to be as he is being and from that he may change on his own. But you cannot force him into happiness or purpose. If you cannot feel good around him, then it is perfectly acceptable to leave this condition. Since you cannot change him, you must be able to find your own joy in spite of his condition. We do not say this lightly, but if you feel you must leave to do so, you will not be abandoning him. You do not have to feel guilt, fear or any negative emotion. He has chosen this for himself and he will get out of it by himself, one way or the other.

You are a being of pure positive love and if you had the power to love unconditionally right now, you would love him in this condition. This would be optimal, but it might not be practical. If you can remain in his presence and still feel good, then that is a wonderful thing. If you cannot do that, you must not sacrifice your joy. Feeling good is the only thing that matters. You must create a way for you to feel good even when those around you do not.

You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count.