Dear Joshua,

In a Facebook comment exchange, Mary Ellen’s friend Beth Anne condescendingly and sarcastically wrote “Oh, Judy, you’re so funny” to someone she didn’t even know, which I thought was inappropriate. And when I quoted a Wikipedia Ebola article on Facebook, she replied with: “Bruce, Sweetie, Wikipedia is not the expert in disease transmission!”

I replied with: “I allow the waitress at the Waffle House to call me “sweetie” because she’s trying to make me feel good, not trying to school me with her superior intellect. Let’s just keep it on a first name basis and have a friendly discussion, OK?”

That felt like striking the right tone to me, but should I have just let it go? Are we to always let everything slide? If our wife or boss or friend is being unfair or even cruel, are we just supposed to accept it? Don’t we at least have the right to request that they treat us differently? I’m only talking here about things that affect us personally, not their views on global warming.

I really struggle with this at times. What says Joshua?


Dear Bruce,

This is an important question and our perspective has the potential to help many people. Let’s start at the beginning. You are a vibrational being living a physical existence. The only thing that is going on here is the way you feel. This is a feeling environment. You are meant to feel good. Now, does it make you feel good to make others wrong? You might think it does, but if you think about it, it does not.

Here’s how this works. You react to the conditions and allow those conditions to cause you to feel either good or bad. If someone compliments you, you feel good. If someone insults you, you feel bad. You are reacting to the conditions. While this is great when the conditions are good, it’s terrible when the conditions are bad.

Your work is to feel good regardless of the conditions.

So how do you maintain feeling good? What are you supposed to do when something happens you don’t like? Are you supposed to change the conditions in the moment? No, if it’s happened, it’s too late and you can’t change the conditions. This is simply fighting against what is and it always causes conflict and inner stress.

So then, what are you to do when something happens you deem as wrong? This is the crux of our teachings. We teach that there is no wrong anywhere in the universe. Something is simply perceived as wrong from the limited perspective of the moment. You can choose to see anything from our broader, higher perspective and realize that the only thing that is important is how you feel. So you must find away for the condition to allow you to feel good.

When someone insults you we agree that it does feel good to stand up for yourself. But it only feels good because the feeling of revenge is better than the feeling of victimization. However, the feeling of revenge feels terrible from a feeling of joy. You see, it is the escalation of feeling that causes you to think rage feels better than despair. But, from a feeling of joy, those lower vibrational feelings are not to be tolerated.

We see that most humans in your society have become accustomed to feeling bad and find relief in slightly elevated (but still rather negative) feelings. You were not meant to feel bad for very long. You were not supposed to become accustomed to feeling bad. Your children freak out by the slightest bad feeling. They will not tolerate it. You have learned to modify the emotional impact of your feelings. It’s time to change that.

If you were focused on feeling good, then you would not bother with any slight that may occur. You would become adept at changing the way you viewed such occurrences. You would empathize with the person and you’d chalk it up to their (and your) current vibrational tone. You would realize that anything you said that was contrary to their current set of beliefs would be incendiary. Since you were primarily concerned with your emotional state of being, and you were focused on feeling good, you would change your perspective to see what was positive about the experience.

The benefit of this new approach to conflict, is that you always win. Since it is only how you personally feel that matters, you have been able to maintain a good feeling stance regardless of the conditions. Believe it or not, this allows you to get more of what you want. This approach to life in which how you feel is the most important consideration, creates an environment where everything you want is allowed by you to come.

Imagine that you have stopped all resistance. What does that mean? You no longer fight against what is. You no longer need to be right or point out when others are wrong. You simply be the highest version of you and know that everything is working out as it should.

But wouldn’t that make you look weak if you simply allowed everyone to walk all over you? No, it doesn’t work like that. You see, it’s your belief that you’re right and others are wrong that makes these events even register in your reality at all. Once you drop this whole business and see that everything and everyone is always right, you’ll soon start to notice that these kinds of things have stopped occurring in your reality. Isn’t that interesting?

You wife, or boss or friends will suddenly stop being cruel. By you changing your approach, you’ll allow only that which makes you feel good to enter your perception and you’ll gain a new perspective on all those things you thought were bad or wrong. You cannot request that others treat you differently with words; you do it with your vibration. You will always receive a match to that which you are emanating. Everyone else receives a match to their vibration as well. You can easily see what someone is vibrating based on what’s happening around them. How you feel begets what you think about which causes the universe to find a match to that feeling. How does that make you feel?

Most like the idea that they have the ability to create in their own reality. But, when that reality is not what they would want, they believe that something is wrong with this Law of Attraction thing. The reason you are not getting only good things is because you have not trained yourself to feel good. Since you get a match to how you’re feeling, feeling good obviously brings good-feeling conditions. Your reality is a reflection of how you are feeling. Since you are often feeling good, good things come to you often. Since sometimes you’re not feeling good, sometimes conditions pop up that you judge to be bad or wrong.

The conditions are simply a reflection of how you are feeling. Don’t try to change the conditions because it will just make you feel worse. Don’t try to make people treat you better because they are just responding to how you were feeling. Those moments you feel you’re being treated poorly are simply reflections of how you were feeling.

It is difficult to trace a condition back to the exact feeling that caused it. You could do this if you were really predominantly feeling good because the bad-feeling times would be so infrequent. But, believe it or not, you fluctuate from good to bad feelings and back again many times an hour. It’s time to start demanding to feel good. You cannot demand this of others for they have no power to create in your reality. You must demand it of yourself. If someone around you is acting in a way that causes you to feel bad, don’t try to change their behavior, try to change your reaction to their behavior. Change your perspective and, in time, you’ll be able to change your reaction to whatever conditions present themselves. You, more than any we know, have the ability to accomplish this great feat.

Changing your approach to how you feel is not easy. You are practiced in your present approach. You find yourself now without any skill in this area. It’s like your son learning to catch a ball. You wouldn’t throw a baseball at him from a hundred feet. So don’t start thinking you can catch baseballs either. Right now, start with something easy and practice. in a while you’ll get good at this and you’ll see this aspect of your experience radically change forever.

You are loved more than you can imagine.