Hi Joshua!

What is this need for intimacy? I mean emotional intimacy, sharing my thoughts and feelings, as well as sharing my everyday life and of course physical intimacy. Is this something I can find within myself and give to myself? If so what is it I am seeking and how do I find it? I am trying to let go of this need but it just keeps getting worse and worse the more I try to let go of it. And I keep telling myself that whatever I seek from others I need to give to myself, but I don’t really understand how I can give myself this intimacy. Is it just another way of showing me that I don’t love myself? If I love myself fully will I no longer need intimacy and want to share my life with someone else?

Thanks, Astrid

Dear Astrid,

Your natural sense is to feel intimate with other people. In a natural world, you could be intimate with many people. Intimacy is the freedom to be who you are and share that with other people. You are intimate with another person because you are sharing things, experiences, and feelings that you do not share with most other people. It feels good to be intimate, because you are being vulnerable and trusting that the other person accepts you for who you are. That is very nice indeed.

In the nonphysical, we are completely and absolutely intimate with each other. So much so that often the lines are blurred between one and all. We flow together. There are no secrets, no judgments, and everyone is free to be who they really are. It is a wonderful feeling.

You mask who you really are due to fear of judgment. You are so conditioned to fit in that you adopt a false persona in the hopes that you will not be singled out for being unusual. In the past, this was a real and rational fear. You could quite literally be outcast from your society if you did not fit in and that could mean physical harm or death.

However, that fear is not rational today. In these modern times, you are free to be who you are. Your only issue is in what other people may think and so you keep yourself all bottle up out of fear of being seen as bad or wrong. But, this is all happening in your mind. It is not real. The fear is irrational and it is extremely limiting. You are so worried by what others may think if you were to become intimate that you do not allow yourself to be free.

So forget all that. You are intimate with yourself because you know yourself. If you think you are not good enough, then that is an illusion based on the limiting beliefs that you adopted from others. Here’s the truth: you are a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance and you are worthy of everything you want in this reality. You are the center of your universe and you deserve to experience anything you want to experience. But, it is all up to you. You will receive what you want when you reduce the intensity of your limiting beliefs and irrational fears. It is a process. How much do you want it? If your fear is stronger than your desire, you will limit yourself and you will begin to tell yourself that it is not possible. But that would be a lie because anything is possible.

You can be intimate without fear. You can learn to love the positive aspects of yourself and allow others to see those positive aspects as well. You can have fun and be less serious. You can realize that you emotions are your guidance system and when you feel negative emotion, that guidance system is trying to tell you something. You are looking at the situation from a perspective that is false and does not serve you. Look at it from the higher perspective. Confront your fears. Believe in your worthiness. Do things that you would not normally do. Leave your comfort zone. Make yourself available. Take a little risk. Share something about yourself with another person.

Intimacy is nice, it’s natural, and it feels good. When other people like you, it feels good because you are looking at yourself in a way that is right and fully aligned with how your inner self sees you. It feels good because it is fully aligned with how all of your guides and supporters see you. If you could see all the love that is being sent to you from the nonphysical, you would never again worry about intimacy. They know every thought you think and are aware of the fullness that is you. They love you and you can love yourself too.

If you were left on a deserted island with anyone you now know, and all your needs were taken care of so there was no fear involved, then you would become intimate with that person. Intimacy is your natural state. When you are free from fear that limits you, you will become intimate with other people.

You are loved more than you could imagine by more than you could ever count.