How can I stop rumination? 5 years ago, I left my husband as he was trying to make me insane so he could run off with his girlfriend without looking bad for deserting me and our children, one who has Aspergers. He was leading a secret life, having an affair with his wealthy Chinese boss, forged my signature on loan and mortgage documents leaving me with unbelievable debt, and ignoring me completely.
I thought he was going mad and it has taken me many years of torture and shock to piece together the truth of my years of marriage and who he is. As a result, I am penniless and furious. He meanwhile shirked his debts went bankrupt and is living in a waterfront luxury apartment. Nobody believed me, nobody could help me, nobody has heard my story.
Every night I lie awake thinking of the injustice. It’s been five years. He’s getting married next week. I’ve tried everything to make some sense of what has happened to my life and heal but my anger is enormous..still. Do you have a word on how to find peace? I gave this man everything..my life savings, a son, my youth, my love and he was betraying me for 6 years of our marriage.
We understand how reasonable it is that you feel this way, however, we want you to see another perspective. The method by which we will show you the higher perspective is meant to knock you out of your present perspective. We want you to move from how you are feeling now into a better-feeling reality because the only thing that matters is how you feel. We want you to feel good, so everything we have to say is for your benefit, is said with love and appreciation for who you are, and is said so that you can begin from where you are and move to where you want to be.
You create your own reality. No one can create in your reality. They can influence you to believe or feel certain things, but they cannot force you. You create it all and you created the life you have led up to this point. This is law and cannot be otherwise. You created this reality.
This is very good news, for if you did not create your reality, you could not create the new reality you prefer. If you were a victim of fate and had no control over your life, then it would be pointless to talk to us. So we must start with the fact that you created this relationship, you created a son together, and all the intricacies of the relationship was also your creation. You believe that you would not create anything that would be so bad, but the fact is you did it all. Once you can come to terms with this fact, and take responsibility for it all, you’ll regain the power you so desperately want and deserve. You are not a victim, you are a creator.
It is not important to understand the reason you chose to create this situation. In time you’ll come to understand it better. If we told you the reason, you might not believe us. It doesn’t matter at this stage anyway. What is important is for you to realize two things; you must feel good and you must consciously create the life you prefer by feeling good first.
When you feel positive emotion it is an indication that you are viewing life in a way that supports you. When you look at your son and feel love, you are seeing him from the higher perspective of love. You do not see his faults, you see his inner beauty. When you think of the past and feel resentment, you are looking at the subject from a limited perspective and this causes inner conflict and stress on the body. If you ignore these feelings and keep thinking the same destructive thoughts, you will feel worse and worse until you create some unwanted bodily or external condition that matches your feelings. The purpose of negative emotion is to alert you to the fact that you’re looking at the situation in a way that does not serve you. If you want to move into a reality you prefer, you must learn to look at this part of your life from the higher perspective of love and acceptance. You must accept the past as the perfect sequence of events that led you to this perfect moment in time.
If you looked at a piece of art and saw that it could not be improved in any way, you would call it perfect. If you would not make any changes to something, you would call it perfect. So then, if you could not change anything, you must call that perfect as well. We want you to see and believe in the perfection that is your past. If anything happened differently, you would not be standing in this place with your son that you love and talking to us about much more important matters. Where you are is the perfect place to be.
From here you can literally be, do and have anything you want. It is in your control. However, to do what you want, what you truly want, you must accept the past. You must forgive those who you feel harmed you and you must look to the life that you prefer. You can forget about all that you do not prefer and simply focus on the next step. What is it that you truly want? What do you really like? What interests you? What fascinates you? When you start thinking in these terms, you can move toward what it is that you truly want.
Without the experience of the past, you would not be so focused on enjoying a better future. When you come to feel better, it will be exhilarating. When you find what you love, you will feel it in every fiber of your being. We want you to turn toward what feels good. We want you to learn to control your thoughts. We want you to meditate a few minutes every day. We want you to drink lots of water, move your body, and explore nature every day. We want you to think thought of love and acceptance and to realize that you are a worthy, unique being deserving of love and with the wonderful ability to love yourself as you love those around you.
This was not a bad thing. This was not wrong. It just was. That’s all. You do not need to add fuel to it. You can allow it to fade away and you can move on from here. A new reality awaits you. The only way you can travel the journey to this new and wonderful future is to cut your ties to the past. You cannot move forward shackled to a past that does not feel good. You hold the key. You can open the locks any time you like. We ask that you free yourself through forgiveness and acceptance.
You are loved more than you can imagine by more than you could ever count.