I can’t express my appreciation for your teachings enough! I devoured “A Radical Change” and grasped so much I can feel it’s already assisted me in seeking that joyful path that is mine. I am half way through “A Perception of Reality” and, like the first, I can’t put it down! So questions arise during my activities of the day.
One issue I have that I’m struggling to change is when I am sharing a conversation with my guy, and for whatever reason, he states something that either I’ve already said or in my perception is wrong … I interpret it as if he is telling me what to do or that he had this clever or smart idea. (Self-worth issue) My strong instinct (habit) is to clearly state that I already said that … in other words always either having the last word or trying to prove myself “right”. I have become very aware of my “need to be right” and I am not happy about this habit. (Recently, I have been able to catch myself sooner and stop defending myself since your teachings but I seem to have a ways to go.)
Could you enlighten us on how to let go of our need to be right, to fill in all the blanks and state our claim? I know so many things in my life would be smoother if I could just get a handle on it.
Thank you so much in advance,
You are right. You are always right. But so is everyone else. You are right and they are right and no one is wrong because there is no wrong anywhere in the universe. You believe that either you are right or the other person is right and one of you must be wrong. However, this is an illusion. The fact that you are right does not exclude the other from being right as well. You are right from your perspective and the other person is right from there perspective in that moment. You might change perspectives, but in the moment, from your unique perspectives, you are both right.
The first words we ever transmitted through Gary were in the first paragraph in A Perception of Reality. “Everything is right. There is no wrong anywhere in the universe.” This is the most important statement we have ever made and it is the basis of our teachings. The only thing that matters is that you understand that everything is right and that there is no wrong.
When you believe that the only way for you to be right is for the other person to be wrong, or vice versa, you get caught up in conflict. Your belief is that it is important for you to be right and yet you can’t both be right when the other person is on the opposite side of the discussion. So the only thing you can do is make him wrong. You make him wrong by attacking him or his position either verbally or mentally. Even if you say nothing, you are still making him wrong only so you can be right. So what’s the best way to correct this? Try and figure out how he could be right.
Try to see everything from the perspective of the other person and you will be able to glimpse just how they could be right. From their perspective, they are right. They believe they are right in that moment because of the perspective they have chosen. When you acknowledge that they are right, not wrong, you can begin to see it from their side.
Here’s the interesting part; not only are they right from their perspective, they are right from yours as well. Everything that happens in your reality happens for you. It is always happening for you. When people say things to you, and you notice, they are saying them for you. If you believe they are wrong, you are simply protecting your persona. Your persona is false, but your ego believes it must be protected. It is like the survival instinct. If something threatens your survival, you feel fear. If someone says or does something that threatens your persona, you feel fear. The way you defend your persona is by attacking the person who said it and making them wrong. But the comment was intended so that you may alter your persona.
Everything you want is coming to you if you will allow it. If it is not yet in your life it is only because you are not yet a vibrational match to it. If you were a match, you would have it in your life. Since you are not a match, you must change in order to become a match. The universe will help you change if you allow it. But if you hold on tightly to your beliefs, you will not change. If you hold onto your persona (which was formed as an expression of your set of beliefs) you will not allow the changes that are necessary for you to become a match to what you want.
However, your persona is false. It is not you, it is the limited version of you. You hold onto this limited idea about who you are and when that idea is threatened, you feel fear and you do whatever you can to soothe yourself. Sometimes you feel sad and sometimes you fight back. But the true you is far greater than the limited idea of you which is manifested as your persona. You are a being of pure positive love and acceptance. That’s who you really are. Anything less than that is just a false persona.
Imagine that someone said something about you that you believe to be untrue. What if someone said that you were not a nice person and you believe yourself to be a very nice person. You would feel fear. You might think, “How dare they say that. That’s not true.” But if it was said to you, then it is for you. You are propping yourself up with this false belief that in order for people to like you, you must be nice. If someone says you’re not nice, then you fear people will not like you. But this is a limiting belief based on an irrational fear. If it was said to you and you feel negative emotion, you have the opportunity to reduce the intensity of a limiting belief.
If your guy says something you already know, you believe he does not look at you in the way you believe he should. You care what he thinks about you and you want him to think of you in a certain way. When he doesn’t, you make him wrong. But whatever he says to you is for you so that you can uncover a limiting belief about yourself.
We understand that this is a complex subject. Just know that your persona is a false representation of who you are and your ego wants to protect it at all costs. You must allow your persona to be attacked without defending it. It does not matter. What you want is to have a flimsy persona that is always changing so that you can transform into the version of you that is ready for all that you desire.
Make it your habit to see the other person’s perspective. Make it your habit to understand how they could be right. Do not care if you are perceived as right or wrong because that part never ever matters. Make it your practice to notice your negative emotions and to understand that you’ve just uncovered a limiting belief which is based in an irrational fear. Reduce the intensity of that fear by finding evidence that it is false and proving to yourself that it is not true. Then notice how your reality changes as a result of your new set of beliefs. This is the work for you. Make everything right. We are Joshua