Dear Joshua,

About my husband, or future ex-husband since we are getting divorce. We don’t live together, I left the house because after Joey’s transition I felt I didn’t want to try anymore that the marriage works, I lost all "desires" to do "things". Now, I think that besides that I also wanted to leave too. Anyways,

The question is, he doesn’t believe in all this, he does believe in the eternity of life after death. Is he in all this to learn or to desire the same as me? Such as "the strong desire to reconnect with Joey"? He is not following this path of beliefs. His beliefs and desires were and are different from mine. Then, where and what is the point where we coincide? We are totally different, we grieve in totally different ways, but does he has to learn the same as I am learning? If what happened to us, losing a son, was not an accident, was intended, then he "agreed" to this to happen too before we came into this physical reality?

Thanks and Regards

Dear Valeria,

You are eternally connected with everyone you know. You, your son, your daughter and your husband are eternally connected. You came to physical reality to explore experiences you could not have in the nonphysical realm. In the nonphysical, there is no death, there is no blame, there is no anger and there is no grief. You believe these are all bad experiences and you wish you did not have to experience them. But from your nonphysical perspective, these experiences have tremendous value. You have grown as a result. You have more power now than you had previously. Your perspective has changed and so has your husband’s. He sees things differently now, just as you do.

Prior to Joey’s transition, you primarily saw the positive aspects in others including your husband. After his transition, you used the grief to cut you off from the natural well being that flows to you. You used this as an excuse to be disconnected from your inner self and you began to focus on the negative aspects of your husband.

Because Joey died suddenly, you have someone to blame. You can blame the woman who struck him with her car, you can blame Joey for being careless, you can blame your husband and you can blame yourself. Had Joey died as a result of an illness which lasted many months, you would have seen your husband differently. He would have shown great compassion, commitment and strength during Joey’s extended illness. If this had happened, you would have focused on your husband’s positive aspects and you would both be more connected than ever.

However, this was not the plan. You came together for the purposes of creating the environment that lead to your experiences. Your experience is much different than that of your husband or daughter who are also dealing with the situation in their own ways. They may not be at the same level as you spiritually, but they are both receiving something from the experience which will help them expand as well.

They may learn to reconnect with Joey as will you. However, what is most important is for you to focus on what this experience means to you. You have the opportunity to build a very strong connection with Joey. You can begin to communicate with him as soon as you realize this is possible and that it’s a very positive aspect of physical reality. You can lead by your example and give hope to all parents who have experienced similar conditions in their own lives. When you learn to communicate with Joey, and find it to be deeply rewarding and healing, you will help others to do the same thing just by your example.

There is more to this story than you can currently perceive. You are moving in the right direction and so is your husband. Everything will work out for you as long as you keep focused on what is really going on here. You have experienced an event which caused expansion. You are learning new ways of being in this physical reality. The most important thing to remember is that there is no separation unless you crate the separation by believing that Joey is not with you. He is with you and you will start to see it in subtle ways at first. Look for Joey and your experience of life will change.

You are love.