I have two children, my daughter is 8, and my son, Joey, would have been 13, but he died suddenly last year, in a bicycle accident, on June 16, 2013, when he was 12. He crossed the street without paying attention because he was talking with his friends, and a 80 year old woman, without an appropriate reflex reaction, hit him. And nine months later, I found a person who introduced me to these “beliefs.”
So, if what I think and feel create my reality, what should I do with the guilty feeling? Guilt because even when was unconsciously I led my life to that point, and Guilt because believing means that I will look for joy/happiness/etc. How a mother could want to be happy and feel joy when his son is not here? I should want to feel miserable, right? And Joey, he was careless, he was reckless of danger, so how he could have created that reality for himself. Before Joey, I remembered to live thinking and feeling that I was going to lose somebody, I felt fear all the time. So, in my reality what happened made sense, but Joey, he was not living with fear, that for sure, he thought he could do anything, and he was not afraid. How could that accident happened to him? And, is it possible for Joshua to perceive Joey? What might Joey be feeling/thinking?
We want to start by sharing with you our knowing that one cannot create in the reality of another. You cannot create in the reality of Joey and therefore your fear of losing him had nothing to do with the accident. The fear of losing your child is common to every parent so you may now release your guilt.
It is difficult for you to witness something that you understand as tragic and are not able to perceive the “reason” for the tragedy. Could it be a random accident or were your son and the woman brought together in that moment? We say that there is nothing random. So, by the Law of Attraction, your son and the woman came together on purpose that day. You do not understand why so you imagine that your fear had something to do with it. It did not and you may now release your guilt.
Life experience is valuable regardless of the duration whether it is one month, one year, twelve years, or one hundred years. From the nonphysical perspective, time has a different meaning. There may be many reasons why your son chose to leave at that time. However, you did nothing to cause his transition to nonphysical. So it is time for you to release your guilt.
You live in a physical reality and are absorbed with the data that is translated by your senses. So you see that a person is not physically here with you and you feel bad. If the person was physically here with you, even if they were not in your presence, you would feel good. But we want you to understand that your son is more connected with you now than he was when he was in your presence. Your guilt, your not feeling happy, is what keeps you apart. You can be with him now if you become happy once again. When you think of him in a positive, happy emotional state, he will be with you. You can communicate with him if you believe that you can and if you practice it every day. We suggest 15 minutes of daily meditation.
Your son had no fear because he was living his life as intended prior to his birth. While from the perspective of an outside observer he seemed reckless, he was indeed living without fear. His lack of fear did not cause the accident and he was not reckless. Your fear did not cause the accident because it was not an accident. It was intended. The life experience he lived was enough for this life. In another life he has lived to a very old age. In yet another one he had a shorter life. Life span is not important, life experience is important. What Joey received from this life was the experience of living without fear. This experience enables him to go on to a new experience, one that would not be possible without this life experience. He has expanded as have you.
What we are going to say to you will not be easily received by others but we believe you will benefit and understand it at a deep level. You are eternally connected with your son and all those in your life. You came to this physical reality together to experience something specific. You came to experience loss and to overcome it. Few are able to overcome grief and after a loss of a child they are expected to grieve forever. This is based on a false premise. Those who feel that you should grieve after a loss see it as a loss. We come to tell you that nothing is lost or can be lost. You are eternally connected. You will be with Joey again when you transition to the nonphysical. But more importantly, you can be with him now. You can learn to accept his presence in your reality if you believe you can and if you practice your connection. This is the experience you came for.
However, you must be in a positive emotional state for the communication to take place. This is your work. You must stop living by the rules of others and start being who you really are. This is your life and your experience. This was all set up prior to your birth or Joey’s birth. You know this to be true but you are afraid to share your knowing with others. The fear you had of losing someone was the knowing you had of your intended purpose.
It is you who will create a reality out of this event and by your courage in the face of other’s beliefs will you come to gain the expansion you so desire. Think from a larger, broader perspective. Think of the benefit your example could be to others who also suffer in grief. This is your opportunity. You weren’t guided to our answer by chance. You came to receive a confirmation of what you truly believe. What you believe, that you should go on to have a happy life, to maintain a connection with your son, to provide a happy and loving environment with your daughter, is what must be done.
We want to tell you that we do perceive Joey and that what we are telling you is what Joey is telling you as well. Joey will connect with you, not only from an outside source, not only from what you read, but from inside. When you think of him, he is thinking of you. When you talk to him or ask a question, listen to the answer and believe what is said is coming from him.
Joey wants you to know that it was all perfect. It worked out just as you all had intended and he is very happy with how it has worked out so far. He had the life experience he wanted. But this was all done for you. You are here to experience this loss and to expand as a result. You were given this opportunity to change your perspective and to overcome this event and begin to live your life more fully.
Joey wants you to know that how you accept the reality of this situation, from a broader perspective, is going to shape the rest of your life. You can live a quiet life of grief and everyone would see that as being totally normal. Or you can see this for what it is. It is a call to a newer, higher level of understanding for which you want and are ready for. But you must change your perspective and stop worrying about what others think.
So let us work to change your perspective. If Joey had lived to graduate high school he would eventually move out of your house and go on with his life. He would move away from you and your constant contact with him would be altered drastically. You would go from talking several times a day to one or two times a week. You would not grieve at this loss of communication or physical contact because you think it’s normal for a child to move away and start his own life. But the contact is lessened as he moves on to another chapter in his life.
The same is true with his transition to the nonphysical. Joey had lived the experience he came for and now he has graduated to another level. One for which he is eager to begin. However, while he is not as physically tangible as he once was, he is able to communicate with you fully from his new place. Had he lived and moved on to another part of his life, he would be consumed with that life and would not be able to communicate with you as he did when he was a small child. But from his nonphysical vantage point he is able to pursue his interests and be with you all at the same time. That’s just how the nonphysical realm works.
Joey says he knows you are able to change your beliefs about physical reality and to see that this was not a loss. He wants you to be happy, to be an example of a new understanding of life, and to live as fully as you are able without sadness, suffering or feelings of lack. You no longer have to fear loss for he is telling you that you have not lost anything but have actually gained a new awareness of life. He wants you to know that the times you do not feel sadness are the times he is with you and it is okay and good not to be sad. It is okay to be happy even if the happiness or the laughter is brief. Laugh more often and try to be as happy as you will allow yourself to be. In time you will come to understand that it all worked out and you will be okay with all of it.
It may take you several readings of this answer to comprehend what we are trying to say. You must move your beliefs to a place that allows you to come to know what is true for you. You must continue your learning. You must continue to ask for what you want and it will be given. Do not allow others to talk you out of your beliefs for you are awakening and they are not yet at the same level as you are. It takes courage to live your life differently than how others want you to. To have courage is to overcome fear.
You are loved more than you can imagine.