Dear Joshua,

I have a question about raising my children from the perspective of allowing. There are many situations, especially now that we are traveling through Europe, that my children act in ways what many would call “unruly”. I know it isn’t my job to make other people comfortable, but it does seem like there should be some awareness about being in small spaces with friends whose houses we are staying in, or in trains and restaurants. I would like my children to be aware of their surroundings. Is there anything useful about them understanding what expectations are in certain types of environments? What would being fully allowing look like?

Thank you!

Dear Sirgun,

You must understand that your children, like all living things, have a built in guidance system. They do not need guidance from you in the way you think. From your perspective as a mother, you perceive them from a more limited viewpoint. From the higher perspective of their own inner selves, they are in complete control of their reality, their destination and are always guided to the unfolding of their lives through the intentions they set prior to their birth. One of those intentions was to have you as their mother. This was not a mistake. They choose you intentionally.

When children are born, they have found a vibration that matches the Earth’s vibration at the exact time and place of their birth. They come with all the attributes and talents needed to explore reality at birth. Since the vibration of the Earth steadily rises, without resistance in each moment, children are born at the highest vibration to date. You and the rest of the adult population exhibit resistance and while your vibration is also rising in every moment, it is not keeping up with the pace of the Earth. Therefore, by default, your children are born and live at a higher vibration than you. This means that they are born to this time and place perfectly capable of navigating their reality as they intended.

You feel fear. You perceive that your children are the cause of your fear. In fear, you dip into a lower emotional state of being based in fear. In fear, you receive urges to change the conditions. Since you perceive that your children are the cause of your fear (rather than your limiting beliefs), you ask them to be different than they are. When they behave, your fear is rescinded to an extent. As soon as the fear pops up, you ask them to be different again.

You use the idea of assimilation as your justification to correct the behavior of your child. But how do you correct something that is not wrong to begin with? It can’t be done. No amount of control will ever dissuade a child from living the life they came to live. However, your acts of control and discipline invoke limiting beliefs (often around their own worthiness). Your child will pick up these limiting beliefs, just as you did. This is not wrong or bad, because in the exploration of who they truly are, they will make their way through limiting beliefs to discover their authentic selves. However, society as a whole will give them all the limiting beliefs they will ever need. When those beliefs come from someone they hold as their standard, such as a parent, the limiting beliefs become more entrenched.

Certainly, you cannot stop controlling your children. At times you will become overwhelmed. We are merely suggesting to you that there is a higher perspective to look at when dealing with your children. If you are like most parents, you will control them and tell yourself that you are doing them a service. We come along to show you another perspective. You are only controlling them to control your fear. Your fear is derived from limiting beliefs. You think, “what if they do something wrong? How will that affect them and how will others perceive me as a mother?” These are surely limiting beliefs you adopted from your own parents.

If you do not control your children, what do you think will happen? Will they become wild banshees disregarding the norms of society and instead, blaze their own trails? That would be nice. Rather, others will enforce their control over your children. Other parents, teachers, authority figures and even their own friends will try to control their behavior. They will eventually be assimilated into your fearful society. But at least they will not have the additional layers of limiting beliefs imposed by their mother. That would truly be the greatest gift you could ever give them.

With our love,
We are Joshua