Dear Joshua,

My burning question to you is why my husband and I have never been able to have more children. We have one amazing son who is now 15 years old. I am now 48 years old and we tried for over 12 years but nothing came about. Doctors could not find any reason for my husband and I to not conceive another child. In my heart it pains me so much that I will not have another. I always hoped that one day it would happen.

How do I move past this deep desire of mine? Our son is truly a wonderful child. He’s always been described by others as an old soul. Brilliant, compassionate, funny and so very wise. He is also very content, happy and secure. Never once has he asked for a brother or sister. Is this the reason for no more children? All my focus should be on him and helping him to become the great being that I think he is?

Thank you for your teachings. I found you a week ago. I am on this leading edge experience alone. No one I know follows these teachings.

Thanks and Regards
Pamela Massey

Dear Pamela,

There are two aspects of your question which will help you to understand the reason you had only one child. First of all you must understand that nothing is wrong. Your life is unfolding based on the vibration you emit. Everything, in that sense, is working out perfectly.

Prior to your birth into this physical environment you set your intentions for what this experience would be like. Most of your intentions were general in nature, such as the intention to experience joy, love, freedom, expansion, success, happiness, etc. One or more intentions were more specific. You might have intended to have a large family in one life, no family in another life, and a small, intimate family in yet another life. The purpose of life is experience. You want to experience all of it. In this life, what you are experiencing is important. It is a completely unique experience and one that you will savor once you reemerge into the nonphysical.

Having said that, you might birth all kinds of new desires in this lifetime. Your experience leads you to want certain things. You wanted a child and as you were a vibrational match to that child, he was born. Then you began the desire for another child. This desire was not the same and since you did not have another baby, you were not a match to another baby. Something about your vibration did not allow you to have that second child.

In this reality, you can have, be, and do anything you want as long as you allow it. It is only you who has the power to hold what you want from coming to you. If you birth a desire, that desire will manifest into your physical reality as long as you do not keep it away.

So, how do you keep away the birth of a second child? You do not go with the flow of events that must occur for you to become the vibrational version of you that is ready for your new baby. There are many valid reasons why this happens. Maybe you were busy raising your first child or interested in some other aspect of life and there were other things that were more important. Maybe you wanted it too much and you were constantly noticing that you were not becoming pregnant. Maybe you really enjoyed the dynamic of your small family and you weren’t sure if another baby would change this relationship. Whatever it was, you held yourself apart from having that new baby by resisting the changes that were taking place.

The version of you who is still wanting the baby but also enjoying your family as it is, is different than previous versions of you. You are learning more about the mechanism of physical reality and realizing you can have whatever you want as long as you allow it. If you think about why you want another child, you must look for the essence of that desire. What is the feeling of having another baby? Why do you want to experience it? Is it different from the experience with your first child or do you want to relive that experience again? Most of what you desire is the feeling of unconditional love. You had that experience before and it is no longer the same as it once was. We will tell you a little secret.

The feeling of unconditional love is the feeling you get when you’re fully aligned with you inner self. You can recreate this feeling anytime on purpose. In the past you used the connection you had with your baby as the excuse to feel this intense love. You can learn to do that now with your son, your husband, and yourself. Realize that you use what feels good as your excuse to connect fully with your inner self. You also use what you do not like as your excuse to disconnect with your inner self and feel bad.

The more you can connect with your inner self, on purpose, the more you’ll feel good. Allow the essence of what you want, which is to love unconditionally, and all that you really want will come to you. Focus on feeling that way about the people that are in your life now, and the essence of what you really want will materialize in your reality. This is your work.

Unconditional love means loving the conditions as they are. You must believe that everything is perfect in the moment. You must know that everything is working out for you. By fighting against what is, you disconnect yourself from what is wanted.

There is a lot more for us to tell you. Up to this point, you have not been a vibrational match to another child. You can become a match to the essence of what you want, if you truly want it. You may not have really understood what you wanted. You thought you wanted another child, but maybe you wanted something else even more. Maybe you are very satisfied with what you have.

You are the essence of love.