Dear Joshua,

Yesterday, I had a huge trigger/manifestation event. I know it was perfect timing to deal with this now, on the eve of starting the boot camp! I have been estranged from my brother for a couple of years and really feel good about it. I have attracted abusive behavior (mostly verbal and some physical) from him since childhood, and about 2 yrs ago I decided to cut off communication with him. Then about a year ago, as I was having an energy work treatment, I felt a flood of emotion/forgiveness for him and I sent him a message letting him know. He was not so open, and claimed I owed him an apology. I felt then, that my forgiveness was really for me, and it was okay if he wasn’t ready to forgive me for whatever wrong he perceived me to have done to him. So I left things at that.

Just yesterday my sister, who is in regular contact with him, told me that she felt I owed him an apology as well. And this is what really triggered me. I felt a flood of adrenaline or something that made my heart race and I was shaking inside and I hung up on her and was fully ready to process this fear. I intuitively felt to breathe deeply, to focus, and ask my inner being what this was. The message I got was that it was about the victim mentality and feeling attacked. I processed this fear in a way I never have before and I immediately felt better and really great actually.

I was grateful for this to come up when it did, and I really enjoyed dealing with it in a way I never have. The thing is, that I still don’t have any real desire to invite my brother back into my life. There is nothing I feel i did wrong to him and nothing I feel I need to apologize for. It feels completely fine to me if I never rekindle a relationship with him again in this lifetime. So, I am wondering if the way I feel is a defense mechanism I am putting up, or if it’s possible to be in alignment, while also feeling no desire to have him be a part of my life.


Dear Melissa,

Let’s imagine the relationship you would have with your brother (and everyone else) if you were the actualized being that you truly are. You are a magnificent and limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. That’s who you really are. Who you are being at any moment in time is a limited version of who you really are. Fear is what limits you. Fear is triggered by limiting beliefs. If you had no limiting beliefs, you could feel no fear and this would not be a manifestation event. Therefore, you can know for certain that a limiting belief lies within you.

You have birthed desires. You set intentions prior to your birth. You enrolled in a bootcamp. In order for your desires to become manifested into your reality, you must become a vibrational match to them. In order to alter your vibration, you must alter your beliefs. You must process your limiting beliefs. The more emotion you feel in a manifestation events corresponds to the intensity of the belief. In this case, the limiting belief is highly intense.

This is not a belief about your brother, this is a belief about your approach to life. You are either the creator of your reality or the victim of fate. If you are the creator, then events like this serve a purpose and so you welcome them. If you are a victim, your urge is to control the conditions by banishing your brother out of your life. If you had no limiting beliefs about victimhood, you would express your love to your brother.

You have a limiting belief that you must keep yourself safe. You must protect yourself. You were born into conditions which caused you to feel like a victim. That provided you with the trajectory that caused you to search for another approach to life and you have found it. But you still maintain the momentum of victimhood and thus events like these will continue to make you aware of your beliefs. If you want to change your approach to life, you must change how you see others’ control over your life. They have no control. It is an illusion. You are creating all of it.

So then, how do you process this limiting belief? You understand fully that nothing has ever happened to you, it has all happened for you. You understand that your life is very good and your trajectory helped you create what you now enjoy. You understand that you have discovered a new approach to life that works with the laws of the universe and you are moving into that approach right now. However, you are not yet a match to it because you have some beliefs that are opposed to this new approach. The approach is complete and absolute acceptance of yourself, everyone else (including your brother) and all the conditions that surround your present life, your past life and your future life. You must accept all of it as good and right and working out for you.

Until you accept that you are the creator of your reality, you will remain a victim. That is your only choice. If you remain a victim, you can blame others for what happens to you, what happened to you, and what will happen to you. You can remove any responsibility for the quality of your life. However, if you choose to be the creator of your reality, you must accept responsibility for all of it. You must realize all of your power lies within your ability to correctly perceive the situation at hand. You can process your limiting beliefs and ease your fears. You can see how this has all unfolded for you. Others cannot. They will remain in fear. They will ask you to be different. They will want you to accept responsibility for their suffering.

Why would you not accept responsibility? Fear triggered by a limiting belief. Why would you want them to be different? Fear triggered by a limiting belief. Why would you not express your love unconditionally? Fear triggered by a limiting belief. Do you see that they are here to assist you in your progress from fear to love, from the old approach to the new? Do you think this is a coincidence that this event occurred at this time?

Always imagine what you would say, do and feel if there was no fear or limiting beliefs. That is who you really are and so being and doing what you would do without the fear is acting in alignment with who you really are and with the laws of the universe.

With our love,
We are Joshua