Dear Joshua,

Last week I found out about the law of attraction and found how it’s been heavily controlling my life for a long time except in the opposite…? Anytime I would thank and fully believe a negative, that’s the only time I would have a positive outcome. I found out that the LOA works both ways, you just can’t have conflicting thoughts. If your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are going one way, then you get a positive outcome.

I’ve started listening to your podcasts every morning and I’m learning more every day, but I have a relationship with my dad and one whole side of the family where they all think I am a liar and that I disrespect them because I went to see my mom a while… was initially going to be a week or so and it has turned into almost 2 years. I had my first contact with him yesterday and things have just gotten much worse. He’s saying I’ve destroyed the family even though I’ve tried multiple times throughout this timeframe to come back. Every other person in my life thinks I am kind, honest, understanding, and definitely not a liar. My father has convinced that side of the family (including 6 siblings) that I am a complete liar and will sacrifice them to get what I want.

I need to know how to control my feelings about this and think positively so this situationc will get better and would love to call in on your show.


Dear Joshua,

We would like to start by saying that this is your reality and that everything that happens in your reality is happening for you, not to you. You are the creator of your reality, not the victim of fate. You might not see where things are going or why people are acting the way they are. You may not be able to see how this is for you, but it can only be for your benefit, growth and expansion. You can resist how they are being or relax a little bit and accept that they have their own fears and they are responding to urges to change the conditions. When someone feels fear, they receive strong urges to make things different. Since you are the perceived cause of his negative emotions, your dad wants you to change so that he can feel better again. He wants to control you because he is unable or unwilling to change his own feelings himself.

You must also remember that you set up these conditions yourself. You must understand that you have a set of limiting beliefs and through this exact disagreement (manifestation event), you can uncover some very limiting beliefs about yourself and those around you. You see, how you choose to perceive this event will determine what, if any, benefit you will derive from it.

You wish your dad was different than he is because you believe that if he was okay with your relationship with your mother, you would feel better. You believe that he is the cause of your negative emotion. Much like him, you want something outside of you to change so that you can feel better. You do not understand that how you feel is your choice. You can choose to feel bad, believing that your father is turning everyone against you and saying things that are not true, or you can process your fear and analyze your limiting beliefs. It is clearly your choice to make.

If you wish that your dad was different than he is, you are acting as the victim. You are a victim to your dad’s words and behavior. You have no control over your him and so it’s as if he controls how you feel. You are giving him all the power. However, if you understand that your negative emotion is really a fear and that fear is triggered by a limiting belief about yourself, then you can work on reducing the intensity of the limiting belief. The limiting beliefs include unworthiness, insecurity, lack of love, etc. We are not saying this work is easy, we are simply saying that it is your work to do if you choose to step into your power as the creator of your reality. If you want to do that, then there is much for you to learn. If you want to remain a victim, then how you feel will always be dictated by outside conditions and other people. You have no control over the outside conditions and people in your life, but you have the ability to control your set of beliefs, your thoughts, and your perspective.

They are not wrong. You are not wrong. You have a set of beliefs that cause you to feel fear. That is true of everyone. You can process those beliefs. This event is highlighting those limiting beliefs. It is time now to think about who you really are and act as the authentic version of you. You are a limitless being of unconditional love and acceptance. That’s who you really are. When you feel irrational fear, such as you are feeling now, you are being something other than the fullest version of yourself. Remind yourself who you are and express your love for them unconditionally. It does not matter what they think about you, it only matters what you think about them and how you see yourself.

Are you a creator or a victim?

With our love,
We are Joshua