Dear Joshua,

My daughter has bouts of anxiety, mostly over being separated from me. It happens mostly at bed time, and she’s had issues with sleeping her whole life (she is 5). How can I facilitate her finding her own connection with her inner being and allow her to feel more secure?


Dear Jennifer,

Thank you for your wonderful question. As we share our perspective with you, we know that many others share your question and are also seeking an answer. First we would ike to acknowledge your brilliance as a mother and a parent. There is nothing you are
doing that you could consider wrong in anyway and we are sure that you realize that your daughter’s issues with insecurity are only temporary. As another cannot create in your reality, you cannot create in your daughter’s reality. Although you can and do influence her.

We are going to talk about what you can do to alleviate your own feelings of insecurity and, as you gain a different perspective, your influence will help your daughter as well. You are an intelligent being and you are aware of many realities within your world. You are also aware that you are the creator of your reality and that the feelings you have will manifest into your reality. Your feelings of insecurity have manifested in your perception of your daughter’s reality. She has manifested those same feelings as well. However, you also realize that you are in a safe and secure environment and well-being is offered and accepted by you at all times.

As you slowly come to the knowing that you are safe, that you have the ability to allow well-being, and that you can control your feelings, you will ease your own sense of insecurity for your daughter. You, like many parents, fear for the safety of your child. You wish to guide her to safety and away from danger. When she runs, you feel fear of her falling. You must realize that she has her own guidance system. She is at the age where your guidance of her actions interfere’s with her own sense of well-being. Your guidance is replacing her own inner guidance and that is her conflict.

As soon as you allow her to follow her own guidance system, she will return to a feeling of security and well-being. She may not yet have experienced this feeling of well-being and security in her life as she has been highly influenced by you. But, as you allow her the freedom to fall, the freedom to explore, the freedom to experience unwanted, she will grow more secure. Her security relies to a large extent on your own feelings of security. When you trust her guidance system, she will learn to trust it as well.

You can facilitate her connection with her own inner being by allowing her to find that connection on her own terms. You do not have to worry so much for her. You have built a safe environment and she will thrive in that environment. But she must be allowed to experience contrast so that she can find her guidance from within. You must align with your desire for her well being. At present you are worried for her well being and that negative emotion is your own guidance from within. Listen to what it is telling you. Know that there is nothing to worry about. Align with your desires, not your fears.

We know that you have the ability to understand the full and loving answer that we are offering. We would not advise you to take any particular action. We just want you to see the situation from a different, broader perspective. This is one of the most common of all situations in the lives of parents and their children. But it is also the one that is most easy to solve and the solution lies within your ability to allow your child to experience contrast.

If you have never fallen, your fear of falling grows with each day.