Dear Gary and Joshua,

First of all, I wanted to thank you so much again for your last response to my question. I am writing to give you an “update” and to also ask another question, if I may? Your reply has made a big difference to the way I look at things now and I am getting better and better at stopping when I get a “negative” emotion or feeling in the pit of my stomach because I know that it is there to tell me that I am not aligned with my “inner guide” who is not seeing the event in the same way as I am.

For example – yesterday my parents in law came to ours for lunch and I realized that every time my mother in law talked about something negative for example “road rage” I was getting annoyed. I didn’t want to collude with her map of the world and agree with her because I didn’t agree nor relate with what she was saying, but I also knew that her comments were irritating me. I stopped and analyzed what was going on for me there and then and I realized that part of me was judging her and wishing for her to be different and to see things in a more positive way.

So, as soon as I realized this I took a deep breath and remembered that everything is right and that my mother in law is on her path in the same way that I am and I simply love and respect her for who she is and where she is at right now. I realized that I wanted the situation to be different than it was and for my mother in law to be different than who she is where she is at and the minute I realized this, I felt much better and really started enjoying myself and enjoying the presence of these two lovely individuals who are in my life. As a result, the rest of the day went brilliantly and it was even fun with lots of laughing. This has made me reflect and I have a question for you.

If my vibration attracts people in my life – does this mean that every time I encounter someone whom I judge as aggressive or negative (i.e. someone who like my mother in law who sees life as tough, negative and regrets the past), I have attracted them because I am a vibrational match to them in some way or is it simply there to make me stop and notice my limiting beliefs and to grow? Is it because I have labelled them as negative and therefore judging it not being right and does this mean that if I accept things as being right, things will change for me? I would really appreciate your help on this and your clarification. As always, thanks so much in advance, I am really grateful.

Love Fabienne


Dear Fabienne,

You are a vibrational match to everyone who exists in your life. They are all there because you wanted them to be there with you together on this wild ride in physical reality. You are eternally linked to everyone you know. They are all here to serve you. Imagine that. Your mother in law exists in your reality for one reason only. She is here to serve you. Not to bring you food or make your bed. She exists to assist you in the exploration of physical reality. Together, prior to your emergence in this reality, you intended to help each other explore certain specific aspects of physical reality. Your mother in law (and everyone else you know) is your teacher, your guide, your student, your assistant, and your mentor in this world. They are all here for you and you are here for them.

When your mother in law annoys you it is a message. She is behaving in a way that you judge as wrong. If she would simply behave properly (according to your specific judgment) you could feel good. Because she is annoying, she is in control of how you feel. She has the control over you.

Her message to you is simple. You are judging you. You are finding things that are annoying to you and you are judging yourself for being annoyed by them. You think that an enlightened person such as yourself should be beyond such things and so you get angry with yourself. This is perfectly natural and therefore the message is this: “Ease up on yourself.”

You create your own reality, right? This is something you believe, is it not? So then, if you create your own reality, how does your mother in law manage to annoy you so? It’s due to a simple but pervasive limiting belief. You still think you should be able to manage your feelings by controlling the reality that exists outside of yourself. This is simply not possible.

You create from the inside out. Your reality is a reflection of how you are feeling on the inside. If you seek to change the outside conditions without making changes on the inside, you will fail. It simply will not work. You cannot hope that others will always align with your judgment of right and wrong so that you may continue to feel good. You must feel good first. You must accept the conditions as perfect as they are. You must accept that everyone is behaving perfectly. If they behave in a way that upsets you, it is for your growth specifically. It is always for you.

When you accept the conditions as they are and you ask no one to change, you enter the beautiful state of allowing. This is a receptive universe. You do not get what you want, you receive that which you want. You receive by accepting the conditions as they are. It is your perception of the conditions that will either make you feel good or bad. When you realize that everything is happening for you and you move in sync with that, then you gain the expansion that the condition offers you.

So let’s say that your mother in law is being negative in your judgment. What is she really doing? She is approaching life from the limited perspective which does not utilize the powers of the universe. When she complains, she is fighting against what is. You see this and you know that this approach will not yield the results she desires. So you want her to be more like you. You do not want to be involved in negative conversation because you believe that negativity will not yield beneficial results.

So you ask her to be different and she cannot be because this event is for you. Isn’t that interesting? If you were not a match to these negative statements, your mother in law could not say them in your presence. She would talk of something else. There is something about you that is fighting against perceived negativity. But there is no wrong in the universe and nothing is inherently negative. It could only be negative if you judge it as negative. So stop judging. This is your lesson.

Imagine that there really is no wrong. That means that no one can say anything or do anything that’s wrong. Everything is fine. Every thing said or done is acceptable. You are without judgment. You cannot be embarrassed or annoyed. You are a being of unconditional love. You are willing to believe that anything that happens is for your highest good.

So if people around you are being negative in front of you, you must understand that you have some allowing work to do. Allowing is the ultimate state of acceptance and in this state you receive all that you desire. It is a gift to be so close to this state that you receive manifestation events such as these that involve your mother in law. You are so close. You are right on the cusp. Believe that there is nothing negative and stop judging yourself as you continue to judge others. You are doing very well indeed and we are excited to be a witness to your growth in this area.

You are loved and supported more than you could ever imagine.

We are Joshua

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