Dear Joshua,

I would like to ask a question for the group collectively. I know what I will get when I ask the universe! How do I be more allowing to individuals in my family when there are parenting obstructions at hand. I am frustrated over the level of contribution from everyone concerned. Simply put, I feel that everyone declines in contribution to family responsibilities, i.e. chores, or respect or lack thereof. Because of this decline, I see the repetitive antics of trying to so-to speak (Joshua) it and not let this Frustrate the living SHIT out of me! I then lash out in retaliation for it. After time this over repetitive cycle of ups downs and COME TO JOSHUA MOMENTS! I’ve become calloused to this now and I’ve almost built up a wall and do not know how to prevent this, and can not seem to change the way it makes me feel inside. I don’t like that feeling personally because it has become a societal norm for one to change their surroundings, you will get a different result!

Back to reality, I know I can not do this morally and fundamentally it’s not a good choice either way. How is it that I have allowed so much emotion to overrun my judgment and choice of expression of concerned frustrations?


Dear Anonymous.

You have a built-in guidance system. Your emotions allow you to know for sure if you are looking at reality in a way that aligns with how your inner self sees the very same reality. Sometimes, your perception of reality is perfectly aligned with your inner self. In those times, you feel good. You feel positive emotion. You look at your family and you feel love and appreciation. It is this perception of your reality that not only is true, but will allow you to create a future reality that feels as good as this one. That’s what you truly want.

When you are perceiving a reality in a way that causes you to feel frustration (or any other negative emotion), two things are happening. First, you are not perceiving reality as it really is. You are perceiving a false reality that is obscured by some fear you are feeling. Remember that when you feel negative emotion, it is based on a fear and that fear is brought forth from some limiting belief that you hold within you. If you feel fear, it is due to your perception of what is going on in the moment. Frustration is fear. It’s the fear that you will not get what you want if you can’t make the others behave in a way you believe is right. It’s the fear that things are not going as you planned. Those fears are irrational.

Second, you are creating a future reality based on how you are feeling in this present reality. If you are feeling frustration now, you will encounter frustration in the future. The good news is that this is all within your control. Not the control of the people or conditions, but the control of your perspective and your thoughts. If you feel negative emotion because you perceive that family members are not pulling their weight, you must understand that that fear can only arise because you have a limiting belief. Work on softening that belief, not changing their behavior and you will create the reality you prefer.

You perceive that their lack of participation means something. It does not. You believe that if they would contribute more, it would mean they loved you, respected you, considered your contribution more, and appreciated all you do for them. Since they do not contribute enough, you fear that they do not love you, respect you, or appreciate you. This is not true. This is simply your choice of perspective. Change that perspective. Do not attempt to change them by making them wrong. That will never create the future you prefer. It will just create more moments of frustration.

You are in control of your perception of reality and your choice of perspective in the moment. You could say that they do not respect or appreciate you or you could say that of course they love you, they just rather do something other than their chores in this moment. They are beings who seek joy and there is more joy in games than there is in chores. It has literally nothing to do with you. They only reason you would think it does is because you hold a limiting belief, which was probably passed down through the generations that came before you.

It is time for you to start creating your reality by working on lowering the intensity of your false and untrue liming beliefs. It’s you not them. It’s your habit of thought, not their actions. It’s your own limiting beliefs that you do not want to transfer to them. You get to create your own reality and nothing they do has anything to do with that. If you chose to use their actions as an excuse to feel bad, that’s your choice. You could just as easily use their actions as an excuse to feel good. The choice is yours, but the more aligned choice is the product of practice and focus. The more empowering choice will create the future you prefer. Your work is to practice analyzing your own fears and addressing your own limiting beliefs and if you can do that, you will notice that your future will involve more and more bliss-filled moments.

With our love,
We are Joshua