Dear Joshua,
Ok - so in response to the last answer, I don't have fear around a situation like Steve and Martina's. My biggest fears lie with my son. If anything were to happen to them, I'm not sure I could handle that. By me being in the moment - going with the flow - calling all good - does this keep me a vibrational match to good things involving them? Or do I have absolutely no control over that and whatever happens in their lives is for them and I just have to deal with it? This is my BIGGEST fear.
I can handle anything thrown at me regarding my stuff, I just don't want anything "bad" in their lives. Ok, I know I can't control it, so how do I get past this? Believe me, I have come a LONG way, yet I know I have much further to go. I know everything would be happening for them. I get all the logic, but I just can't seem to let go of this last thread? I have this limiting belief that if I always keep them in my thoughts, nothing can ever harm them. I know it's limiting, but so real in my reality right now. I know I can never lose them. I guess I'm looking for reassurance, which I'm guessing you won't give me. So try to explain my part in this to me. Help me to understand this and move through it once and for all. My love is so intense, so deep, so unconditional for them.
With Love and Gratitude,
~ Wendy
Dear Wendy,
You have a little paradox going on here and it is pulling at you. On one hand you understand that if something were to happen to them, you know that it would be for their benefit. On the other hand you do not want anything to happen to them because you would feel emotional pain. If it happens to them, then it happens for them. If it happens in their reality, then it is for their highest good. What you are saying is that you don't want anything to happen for them if it might cause you some emotional pain. You want them to live a limited and safe life just so you can feel good. While we commend you for thinking about how important it is for you to stay feeling good, we would like you to come to a place where you can feel good no matter what appears to be happening in the lives of those you love.
You are simply a portal through which your children emerged into this reality. Certainly they choose you to be their special portal, but once they emerged through you, your job was basically done. Good work! You did your part. Now let them experience what they came here to experience. You cannot create in their reality. Their universe revolves around each of them. You are one of the many stars that revolve around them in their solar system, but they are the center of their own universe and they are here to explore reality in their own way. You use them as your excuse to feel good, however, that is a risky proposition. If they are the main focus of your attention and the reason you get up in the morning, then you put all your eggs in one fragile basket. Your entire sense of worth, value, love, and the source of your good feelings relies on their ability to navigate reality in a way you deem good and safe.
Yes, we understand your attachment to their well-being, but it doesn't really do you or them any good. They are going to live their lives, however you are going to influence them to a degree to which might be somewhat limiting for them. They are not going to tell you certain things for fear of your response. They are going to have to tiptoe around certain sensitive subjects. They are not going to be who they really are around you because your judgment might cause you to feel bad and they feel bad when you feel bad.
If you allow them to be your reason for feeling good, they will be affected by that. They will alter their behavior so that you can feel good. They will do things differently so that you can feel good. They will withhold information so that you can feel good. They will be uncomfortable around you just in case someone says or does something that causes you not to feel good. How you feel affects how they feel. If you don't feel good because of something they say or do, then they will not feel good. Their good feelings often rely on you feeling good.
If you loved them unconditionally, then nothing they could say or do would make you feel bad. You would accept them for who they are, what they do, and whatever they choose to go through. Nothing bad can happen unless you judge it as bad. However, if you judge certain things as bad, then that will limit what they can explore. Remember, this is their life and while they are a part of your reality, you cannot create in their reality and they cannot create in your reality. All you can do is influence them. You can allow them to be free to say, do, or be whoever or whatever they want, or you can ask them to be different so that you can remain feeling good. We are not saying that you are specifically asking with your words, you are asking with your vibration and that is far more powerful than your words.
You cannot lose them. You are eternally linked to them. There is nothing serious going on here. This life is but a blip of time, a blink of the eye, a quick game of exploration. They are going to live and die thousands of times over and over and over and you will witness and be a part of those lives. Be who you want to be. Be strong, fearless and have faith and if something happens, know that it was all part of the plan. And if nothing happens, then you will have been able to enjoy a stress-free life being one of the few mothers who doesn't need to waste energy worrying about her children. All will be fine because everything is fine just as it is.
With our love,
We are Joshua
