Dear Joshua,
The past few days I have had some old feelings of anxiety creep up. I think it's centered around me not really having anything to do - I know ~ doing vs being. I'm having a hard time with just being. In theory, I really like the idea of just "being." I have always fantasized about it and now that I have this opportunity, I feel awkward like I don't know what to do. I have always been one who does and so being feels foreign.
I feel like I'm going nowhere. I understand this is a transition. I guess I'm looking for ways to stay on track, not run away and hide, keep my feet to the fire, if you will. Tom is working so many hours and I am here alone with the dogs with not a whole lot to do, yet I could do anything. I realize I have created this I'm just not sure why.
With Love and Gratitude
~ Wendy
Dear Wendy,
Imagine the difference in the approach to life where you actively struggle to control the outside conditions of your life and then you pivot to a new approach where you simply allow the flow of life to take you where you want to go. That's quite a shift, isn't it? Imagine the difference between doing and being. That's a significant difference. When you are doing, you are controlling. When you are being, you are allowing and flowing. Be a being who allows and when everything is properly organized, you will receive inspiration to act.
Imagine that, acting when inspired to act rather than acting out of fear that if you do not act, everything will fall apart. Your prior approach to life included lots and lots of uninspired action (with some inspired action thrown in there as well), and most of that uninspired action had no real purpose. It did not make you feel better. It did not solve your problems. It may have given you the illusion that you were in control, but that could not last and never really worked. So now you find yourself alone with nothing to do. What a wonderful predicament!
You have nothing to do. Good. Do nothing, simply be. Be with yourself, by yourself and take a little time to get to know yourself. You are on a journey of self-discovery. Can you dream of a better scenario? You have this opportunity to figure out who you really are and what you truly want. You do need to take care of anyone else but yourself. Things could not have worked out any better. And now you feel a little bored. Perfect.
We will ask you now to embrace this period in your life. It has come at exactly the perfect time. You have nothing to distract you. What you desire is to find something that interests you. Until now, you have been interested by many things, yet it is your feelings of unworthiness that cause you to want to be the best in something. If you aren't the best right away, you give up. If you do not think you will be successful even before you start, you never even give it a try. Now you are coming to terms with this and soon you will know that you can follow your interests without this need to prove yourself.
Until you understand that you are absolutely worthy and that nothing you do can define you, you will have difficulty pursuing your interests. Here's the fact: you are a limitless being of pure positive love and acceptance. You are currently denying that fact. You are saying to the universe that you do not believe it is true of you. You need to prove your worthiness. This is a limiting belief. There's nothing you can ever do that will prove your worthiness to yourself or anyone else. All you can do is do what you want to do. That's it. You can find things that interest you and you can pursue those interests until you find your passion and you can throw yourself into your passion and you can live a life of bliss. But no matter what you do or how well you do it, it will never make you worthy. You are already worthy.
When you receive inspiration to do something, you come up with a million ways why you should not do it. It won't be fun. It will take too much time. You won't be good at it. You don't have the right clothes. You might look silly attempting it. It's too expensive. You might fail, and on and on and on. This is a habit and there's a lot of momentum behind it. But that's all it is; a habit.
Now you are talking to infinite intelligence and we explain how thoughts really work. You do not create thoughts, you receive them. When you receive thoughts while you are in a positive emotional state of being, you can know the thoughts are inspiration and you can follow those thoughts. If you are in a negative emotional state of being you will receive thoughts that will distract you, but do nothing to move you in the direction you want to go.
So then, now that you know this, what is your work? Your work during this time of freedom is to feel good, receive inspiration from a good-feeling place, and act on that inspiration. Adopt a stance of curiosity and wonder. Make it a game. When you get the idea to do something, like ride a horse, just do it. Find out how. Move in that direction. Do a little research and feel for more inspiration. Listen to the thoughts that swirl around in your head and realize they are based in irrational fear. The momentum of a lifetime of fear has a residual effect. Fear will always pop up when you consider doing something you are inspired to do. Push past the fear and do it anyway.
We want you to buy a journal and record your thoughts and ideas. On the left side of the journal write a heading "Feeling Good" and whenever you receive a thought while you are feeling good, you will write it down on that side of the journal. On the left side, write the heading, "Feeling Bad" and below that you will list all the thoughts and ideas that come to you while in that state.
You will notice a pattern. The feeling good column will be full of love based thoughts and ideas. Fear will pop up when you think about actually pursuing those ideas and the fear will be irrational and therefore false. On the other column, you will notice that the thoughts are designed to distract you from feeling bad. When you analyze those thoughts and ideas, they will be based in fear.
You have nothing to do but be. Being is the state of allowing. Be open to possibility. Meditate. Read. Ask questions. Talk to friends. Send emails to others in your group. Feel for what feels good. Do what feels good. Be lazy. Watch TV if you want. Take the dogs for ten walks a day if you want. Don't do anything until you receive the inspiration and then go for it.
With Love and Appreciation,
Joshua
