Dear Joshua,
Today I had an "offline" conversation with Kyla and I really enjoyed it! We talked about what I want to do when I grow up ~ LOL!
Kyla asked what are the characteristics of what I am looking for. I said I like to feel a part of something bigger, I like to work around and be with fun people and I want to earn great pay for what I do. Somehow the subject came up how I think real estate agents are super competitive and I don't like that. Kyla asked if I am competitive and I am!!
I got to thinking about it ~ all my life I have had to be the best or one of the best at something in order to do it. I uncovered a BIG limiting belief! If I can't be the best or one of the best at something, then I am going to take my toys and go home!! I am literally embarrassed if I can't be one of the best!! It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I will run away!
This has been a theme throughout my life in many ways ~ jobs/activities/friendships, etc. Realizing this, I feel like I have basically been "hiding" the last few years of my life (the illnesses helped me hide). I want to grow from this new perspective and understand how this leads me further on my path.
Thoughts?
With Love and Gratitude
~ Wendy
Dear Wendy,
When you are good at something, you feel good about yourself and this is an example of a beneficial belief. However, when you are not good at something and you feel bad about yourself, this is an example of a limiting belief. Limiting beliefs limit your experience of life, and they are false. All limiting beliefs are false. If you are not good at something it does not mean that you are not good. Do you agree? If you are not a good ballerina, would that have any effect on your value or worthiness? If you are not a good real estate, agent would that have any effect on your value or worthiness. Even if you were not a good mother, would that really have any effect on your value or worthiness? Of course not. You are valuable and worthy no matter what you choose to do or how well you do it. How you define yourself is the only thing that matters and since you are the only one who can define yourself, why would you want to define yourself in any terms that are limiting?
You are good and valuable and worthy all at the same time no matter what you choose to do or how good you are at it. You are undeniably worthy and you cannot lose that. You do not have to prove your worthiness. You think that being good at something proves you are worthy. It does not. You are good at something; the only thing that matters. You are the creator of your life and you are an excellent creator even if you do not think this is true. This is the only thing you have to do and since you are the creator, you cannot fail.
Feelings of unworthiness create the urge to prove your worth to yourself and to others. But this can never work because, due to the Law of Attraction, your reality is created by how you feel. It is a reflection of your feelings of unworthiness. So, knowing this, you must change your mind about what being good means. Being good at something does not mean anything. It does not prove anything. Nobody will care if you are good at something. It doesn't make you a better person. The results of anything have no inherent meaning.
Then what are you to do? You are to do whatever it is you like to do regardless of the outcome. The outcome doesn't matter. It has no effect on the abundance in your life, your worth, or anything else. Imagine you enjoyed the process of selling real estate. You enjoy looking at homes, helping people manage the buying and selling process, doing the research, and all of that. Whether you sell zero homes or one hundred homes makes no difference. If you are engaged in it and you enjoy it, then that's all that matters. If you make lots of money or no money, well that's about abundance and has nothing to do with the work you are enjoying. This is why it is important to find your passion in life. Agents may be competitive if they too use their profession to prove their worthiness.
Now, imagine that you find your passion in life. You enjoy the thing you are doing, but if you are not immediately good at it, you will quit. You were fortunate enough to find something you love, but you toss it away simply because you feel you are not good at it. The only reason this matters is because you need to prove your worthiness through anything you attempt to do. Being good at it doesn't mater if it's something you enjoy. Being bad at it doesn't matter unless it prevents you from getting involved in it.
You are so wrapped up in this worthiness issue that you must be good at absolutely everything in order to prove yourself worthy. However, you can't always be good at everything at the beginning and so you never let yourself develop the activity. You shut down before you attempt anything because you have your entire persona wrapped up in the thing before you even get started. You recognize that this makes no sense and so you need an excuse not to attempt new things or even to do the things you know you like to do. In your case, the excuse comes in the form of illness, migraines, etc.
The illness is needed to avoid doing things you fear doing, because if you are not good at something, you believe it proves that you are unworthy. Until you get over this issue and figure out a way to be happily engaged in something regardless of how good you are at it, your illnesses will continue to remain in your life. They will recede from your reality as soon as they are no longer necessary. Until then, they stand as convenient reasons not to attempt anything.
Release your attachment to all outcomes and simply allow yourself to move toward whatever interests you in the moment. If you are feeling good and you get an inspiration or an idea to do something, go ahead and do it. When you fear that you might not be good at it, that you might fail at it, do it anyway. Enjoy the beginning stages of anything while knowing that you will improve. Tell yourself that it does not matter how good you are. You are good regardless of how well you do something. Do it for the fun of it, not for any specific outcome. Do it because it's interesting and challenging. Do it because it is something to do. Seek the information that the activity provides and that's all you will ever need from anything.
You are good, you are worthy, you are a magnificent creator, and you are worthy of anything and everything you want to do. If you are interested in it, it is for you. Everything you want will be found in the pursuit of your passion and that's why it is important to find your passion as soon as possible. You may have found it many times before, but you convinced yourself you were not good enough. That is a limiting belief and it is false.
With our love,
We are Joshua
