Wendy Question #15

 

Dear Joshua,

I must say ~ I am getting better at recognizing negative emotions and analyzing them to uncover the limiting belief ~ thank you. However, I woke up again last night with a migraine ~ resistance. I have been doing my best to let go of resistance, judgment and criticism. Of course ~ I still have a lot more to work on.

Thinking about why I woke up with the headache. We had dinner with two of our three sons last night and the oldest was about to fly back to DC last night when there was a "shots fired" alert at LAX. Needless to say, his flight was cancelled and he had to reschedule for today. When I boil this all down, I feel I am still wanting some amount of control ~ to orchestrate ~ coordinate my family even though they are grown men. On some level I still feel the need to control their lives. I feel like I need to help them with their lives. If I don't, they won't turn out as good as they could. Logically, I realize this is a VERY false belief!! I have raised three very responsible, independent young men ~ all three of who are living a life they enjoy. I over worry. Will you please give me some guidance as to how to let go of the fear I have around them being all grown up? I feel this is the very root of my issues.

With Love and Gratitude
~ Wendy


Dear Wendy,

Yes you have raised three very bright, capable, intelligent, and strong young men. You provided the exact environment they needed to launch them on the trajectory toward that which they came to explore. They are, like you, here to explore reality in their own unique way. Of course you want them to be happy and fulfilled, but that is now up to them. The most important thing you can do is see their lives from the higher perspective so that you can feel good yourself.

You want to feel good, so you wish for their lives to be safe and easy. You don't want them to have any struggles or difficulty. Why? Because when you see them enduring some contrast, it makes you feel bad. You look at things from the limited perspective and you feel negative emotion. You are resisting the way they choose to explore reality. You have not yet learned to deal with your emotions, which are simply navigational signals from your inner self, so you allow the negative emotion to linger. Your uncontrolled imagination conjures the worst possible scenario and this causes you to feel more negative emotion. Realize that when you feel bad, and those around you notice it, it often makes them feel bad too. You bring everyone down with your sinking ship. We suggest an alternative approach to life.

Look at the big picture. Your son's are alive in this wonderful environment. They have everything they need to explore reality. You are eternally linked and can never lose them. They must be free to do that which they came here to explore. If you interfere with their exploration in the hopes they will play it safe so that you may feel better, you cause undue stress and conflict. Allow them to be fully who they are. They are each on a path of discovery, but your influence causes them to do things just a bit differently.

Imagine living as who you really are and interacting with your boys from that powerful stance. Who you really are is a fearless being of pure positive love and acceptance. Without fear, they are free to be who they are. Your conditional love allows them only to create a facade so that they appear to be who you want them to be. They are more than that, but they want to please you. It may not seem that way to you. You may think that your opinions do not matter that much, but they do. Your influence is more powerful than you think. They care about how you feel. You use your feelings to control them.

So let go of any desire to control. They have their guidance system that will lead them where they need to go. They have the ability to tap into the powers of the universe. They can be anything and do anything they want when they have your unconditional love and support. When they know you are alright, they will be set free. Do not let your perspective limit their chances to be who they want to be.

You are free to think any thought you want. When you reach for the higher perspective, you elevate your vibration and better-feeling thoughts will flow to you. When you are constantly worried about some perceived negative outcome, you are seeing things from a limited perspective and your vibration is lowered. In this state, you receive access to lower-vibrational thoughts. This is what causes you to spiral downward. There is great momentum here because you have been doing this for a very long time. Now it's time to let everything go and have faith that they are capable and confident enough to make it on their own.

They are advanced beings. They came to explore reality in this special time of awakening. They knew what they were getting into before they came. They are thrilled to be here. They will find their way without your influence. They could use your unconditional love and acceptance. When you see them doing something you perceive as wrong, you must think about it from another, higher perspective and figure out how it is right. How are they right? How is what's happening in their reality right for them at this time? How is this seemingly unwanted event causing them to expand and move in a direction that they need go? How is everything always working out for them? You don't want to see them endure hardship because you do not appreciate the negative emotion you feel. You use their lives to make you feel either good or bad. You have control over how you feel, but you have no control over their personal explorations.

Give up your need to control and realize that all you need to control is your perspective. Release you fear by understanding that there is nothing to fear. Nothing can go wrong, you can't lose anyone, everything is always working out for them. The only problem they will ever have is resistance. Show them there is no need to resist anything by being an example of non-resistance.

With all our love and acceptance,
We are Joshua

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