Dear Joshua,
After reading your answer to my question #11 ~ I had these thoughts:
I get the feeling of dread because I feel like I don't have anything of significance to do that day ~ nor do I necessarily want to have anything of significance to do that day. This is my fear ~ I will be insignificant and if I am insignificant no one will love me. I know this is a limiting belief without any truth whatsoever ~ a belief established in childhood.
Taking this back into question #10 ~ my habit of judgement and criticism is used to make me feel better than or superior to. How can I be insignificant if I am better than or superior to? This seems like a false sense of self-worth and that is why it doesn't work.
This is all beginning to take some shape ~ yikes!! Please share your thoughts on this ~ I am confused as to where this is going!!
With Love and Gratitude
~ Wendy
Dear Wendy,
You are exactly right. On the one hand, you feel like you should be doing something, looking forward to something, and passionate about something. To be worthy, you must be involved in something worthwhile. You must be of obvious value to your fellow man. You must be contributing in some way. Otherwise, how could you be worthy if others saw no value in what you were doing or who you are as a person? But this is a completely false premise and is not valid whatsoever.
You are worthy, not because you do anything in particular, have any achievements, or even any special talents (which of course you do have), you are worthy because your experience of physical reality has never before existed. You are here for one reason and one reason only - to expand. You are expanding. You are even expanding more than most. Your life is unique and you are bringing this unique experience of life to All That Is. It is a highly valued contribution to the universe and without your participation, your perspective, and your personal expansion, the universe would be less. This is why you are worthy as any who has ever or who will ever live. You are exactly as worthy as everyone else. You were born worthy.
This means you can have, be, and do anything you like in this reality. It was designed for you. You are limitless. You can sift and sort through life and choose what you want to explore and how you want to feel. You can feel anything. What do you want to feel? How about feeling worthy? How about feeling unique? How about feeling good? Think about how you would like to feel and intend to feel that. This is how you start creating the life you prefer.
Judging others doesn't make you feel good, it only makes you feel a bit better. You are right, it is a false sense of worthiness. When you look at another and judge them as inferior (or wrong), it might make you feel a bit better about yourself. You might look at an aspect of one person and compare yourself to them favorably. However, if you see them as wrong, you aren't really seeing yourself as right. You are just focused on how wrong they are and this attracts more of that into your life. If you truly felt good about any aspect of yourself, you would not need to compare yourself to others.
Everyone is worthy. Everyone is equal. Everyone is exploring reality after setting an intention to do so. You cannot know what these intentions were or how they will unfold in the lives of others. What may seem terrible to you, is exactly the thing they wanted to explore in exactly that way. Therefore, you cannot judge because you do not have all the information. You aren't privy to all the nuances and complexities of another's specific intentions for the exploration of this reality. It is all valid and it is all good. From your perspective it may seem bad, but look at it from the higher perspective and you might get a glimpse at the goodness of everything.
Mostly you are judging yourself. This is the problem with judgment in general. It aways comes back to you. You become critical of others and that criticism will turn around and get focused back on you. You are your own worse critic. It's time to stop judging and start loving.
There is nothing you need to do to prove your worthiness. In fact, there is nothing you can do. You cannot prove worthiness because you are already worthy. Any attempt to do so will fail. You could achieve any goal and yet unless you thought of yourself as worthy, no one else would. So it doesn't matter. The only one who needs to know that you are worthy is you.
There is no need to find your passion in life. It's just that life is a little sweeter when you are blissfully pursuing something you love. Having a passion to follow does not make you worthy, it just makes it easier to feel good. However, doing something that you do not love is not only unnecessary, it's not very helpful. It's a distraction. There's no need to fool yourself or anyone else by pursuing something that doesn't float your boat. If it isn't interesting, exciting, or fun, do not do it. Don't do it for money, for charity, for the benefit of others, or for any other reason. Unless you enjoy it, just don't do it.
Here's how this will all work. You will begin to start feeling worthy. You will slowly start to understand that you are unique. You will start to see your special attributes and begin to appreciate your creative qualities. After all, you created the life you now have and most people would love a lot of the things you created. You will come to appreciate every single aspect of the life you created, warts and all. You will begin to feel better. You will start to receive new thoughts and new ideas. You will become aware of your inner self. You will start to feel your inner self communicating to you. You will be drawn to certain things and you won't know why. Things will start popping into your reality unexpectedly. You will become interested in something and you will push through your fears to pursue it a little further. You will find a thread and follow it until it leads to a string that leads to a rope that leads to something you love. This is what is going to happen for you.
But first you must radically change your approach to life. You must move away from fear by realizing that your fears are irrational and limiting. You are a limitless being and your fears are imprisoning you. You are receiving confirmation of how you currently feel in the form of unwanted physical manifestations. It's now time to turn all of that around. When you look at someone, you must see perfection. When you look at any condition that exists in the moment, you must see its perfection. See how everything is right. Wish everyone well. Wish the best for everyone everything and you will see a radical transformation in the kinds of manifestations that show up in your personal reality.
You are love. You are limitless. You are courageous. You are worthy. You are capable.
You are in total control.
Joshua
