Dear Joshua,
I wouldn't say that I have a negative self body image, but there is definitely room for improvement. I am one of those lucky people that doesn't really have to work out to stay thin. However, I'll admit I would feel much better about my body if I was just a bit sculpted... Nothing dramatic, just fit and trim.
Today, as I was imagining being fit and trim, I noticed my "worthiness" level increased. So then I thought that if my worthiness level would go up, taking the time to work out would benefit ALL areas of my life as it would in turn make me feel worthier... But then it crossed my mind that maybe that's a screwy way of thinking - why should my worthiness be attached to my physical image? But since it is for me, why not take advantage of that and use working out as a "device" to attain a greater feeling of worthiness? It's clear to me that I feel good when I think about being more fit. The only downside is the time involved working out and I already feel a bit stretched time wise. Your thoughts on this matter would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
Steve
Dear Steve,
You are not your body, but you are attached to the idea that you and your body are the same. In the natural world, free from the influences of your society, you would not be so attached to the physical appearance of your body. You would simply strive to feel good. In that sense, when you feel good about your body, you are moving toward that which is wanted.
This is a feeling reality and all that really matters is how you feel. When your body feels good, you are aligned with what is wanted. When you look at your body and use your own selfjudgement to make yourself feel bad, you are not aligned with what is wanted. So we say, "If it feels good, do it."
If you would feel better if your body looked better ,then that is a good thing, but you will need to be fully aligned with the whole process. If you feel better when your body looks better, but you don't enjoy the activities you think you need to do to cause your body to take a more preferable shape, then your defeating the point. You should feel good while you're exercising. You should feel good while you're taking the time to exercise. You should not struggle, endure pain, or feel like you should be doing something else with your time.
This is a matter of focus. Your goal is to feel better by having a more sculpted body. That's perfectly fine. Now you must bring your energy into focus and think about the types of activities you will perform to enhance the physical appearance of your body. They must be enjoyable as well. You must feel good as you are creating a better-feeling body. You must not worry about the time because worry does not feel good. If you cannot do all these things, and feel good throughout the process, then you might consider something else that would also make you feel good.
You were born into the body you have and it is and has always been shaped by your thoughts more than you can imagine. You have the body and look that fits your predominance of thought. What you eat and how you move your body can have some effect, but even that is dictated by your thoughts. You could completely change the look and feel of your body by changing the predominance of your thoughts, but it is easier to exercise than to change your habit of thought.
Your body is really a reflection of your persona. Change your persona and your body will also change. Your persona, like your body, is not you. It is simply a construct of who you think you are at any moment in time. Your body matches that persona. As you care less about the shape of your body, it will gradually take its natural shape. If you can allow this to happen, without your judgment, it will naturally take the shape that will feel best. It is only your judgment of its appearance that causes you to feel good or bad. Physically speaking, your body will feel its best when left alone, free from your judgment.
You are already worthy. When you try to feel more worthy through the attainment of any goal, it will not last. If you don't feel worthy now, when you attain your goal, you won't feel worthy then. Worthiness is something you must accept as absolute, independent of all else. You are worthy and you do not have to prove your own worthiness, even to yourself.
So exercise as long as it causes you to appreciate your body and as long as you feel good in the process. Appreciate the way your body looks and feels now and you will feel even better as it takes the shape you prefer. Realize that there is no one body "look" that is to be attained by all. You are all completely unique and your body is a reflection of that uniqueness.
Love
Joshua