Joshua,
I was out with a man, feeling sexy as all get out, and I happened to see the one person in this town that I was resistant to seeing. I guess aside from my ex-husband, that is.
I forgave this person a long time ago, choosing the higher perspective without consciously realizing that's what I was doing. I saw how he gave me a gift with his actions. I understood how it helped shape me into who I am today.
But still, when I saw him, I felt negative emotion. Not anger, or rational fear although it might actually be justified...it was more that feeling where time stops and the bottom drops right out of your stomach. My first words were, "Holy shit." I ended up leaving without talking to him, but it was an interesting dynamic, sitting there, knowing he'd seen me, pretending not to see him.
What was all that about? Why did I see him? Was leaving without saying anything an urge resulting from my negative emotion? If I'd remained in a high emotional state, would I have been inspired to talk to him? How the hell would that conversation have gone?
Can't wait to hear your insights on this one. I figured it was bound to happen. And now part of me wants it to happen again so that I can experience a more empowered reaction. What a night.
With love,
Kyla
Dear Kyla,
When you encounter negative emotion, you are in a manifestation event. The event was designed to alert you to some limiting beliefs based in irrational fear. If you had no fear, you would not have felt negative emotion. The person would not have caused such a reaction. You would not have left. You might have even talked to him and thanked him for playing his role in your life at that time.
It does not matter whether you realized the limiting belief and the fear in the moment or a day later. The only thing you are doing is prolonging the negative emotion. You left the building and by doing that you changed the conditions thinking you'd feel better as a result, and you did to a degree. When you finally stop and analyze the emotion, the fear, and the limiting beliefs, you'll find relief. Until you do so you'll have a nagging sense of unease. If you let this linger without changing your perspective or uncovering the limiting beliefs, the feeling might lead to dis-ease. That's why it is important to look at these feelings and uncover the limiting belief as soon as you can so you do not allow the negative emotion (resentment) to build momentum. Forgiveness is an excellent way to stop the momentum of the negative emotion of resentment.
When you look at something that happened in the past and you feel negative emotion, it is usually one of two emotions: resentment or regret. Resentment is the false belief that someone did something that adversely affected your life and regret is the false belief that you did something that adversely affected your life. Both emotions are indications that limiting beliefs exist and both are false. Everything happened perfectly to lead you here. Everyone did exactly what needed to be done to get you here. You did all the right things and those decisions, no matter how wrong they seemed, were perfectly right. They all led you here to where you now exist. Had it not been for those exact events, you would literally not exist. It would be a different you.
You forgive someone mentally. There is no need to tell them. There is no need to be friends. There is no need to even acknowledge their existence. You forgive yourself mentally as well. You realize that certain events had to be lived through in order for you to be who you are now. This version of you is perfect, therefore everything that went into the creation of this version of you was perfect as well.
There is fear present around this man. It will always exist. You can reduce the intensity of the fear, but it will never go away completely. When you saw him, you felt the fear and dropped into a lower emotional state of being. From this lower place you are inspired to say and do things designed to make you feel better in the moment. These urges are like reflexes and sometimes it feels like you have little control over your actions. You might have entertained the notion of saying or doing something more empowering after the fact, but in the thick of it you did what was best given the circumstances. Nothing else would have been any better given your emotional state of being.
Remember that when you feel fear, you drop into a lower emotional state and actions inspired from this state are not likely to align with who you really are and what you really want. Sometimes it's just best to leave and deal with the limiting beliefs later.
So think about the fear, realize it's irrational, find proof the the belief is false, and look at it from another perspective until you find relief. That's all you need to do. If you weren't moving to a higher vibration, you would not experience manifestation events like these.
Joshua
